Ruin a Movie!

[TN4U]

It's a prequel to The Exorcist. Linda Blair plays a baby, who gets bonked in the head by Alfred Hitchcock with his little toy hammer. Immediately, everyone and their moms calls him out for child abuse, and he runs to Mexico with the money he earned from his prior thriller films. Meanwhile, Blair starts to see things that aren't there, and slowly starts doing the Exorcist-like things in psychotic baby fashion. The climax features the baby crawling into her mom's shower, and the mom screams as her bar of soap gets eaten up by the child. The whole film's not a pretty sight to see, really. It's in black and white, for crying out loud.
Darn it ninja'd right as I was about to post it. I'll do both as I can't let this masterpiece go to waste

It's the life and times of Marvin the Martian from Looney Toons. He decides to takes a road trip to Pluto, but mistakenly ends up at Pluto the Dog's house and abducts his owner, Mickey. As Marvin tries to brainwash Mickey, the mouse bribes Marvin with all his money, and is immediately released. Marvin can now go on a long vacation to the dwarf planet Pluto.

The Year Without a Santa Claus

 

[Midoriya]

It's about what Christmas would be like without Santa Claus... unfortunately someone has to fill the role, and that ends up being the Santa Claus from Teen Titans Go. Now every time Christmas comes around we have to hear "ALLLLLLL HAILLLLL... DA JOLLY FAT MAN!" Great. Just great.

The Grinch

 

[TN4U]

The Grinch goes on a murderous rampage, takes over Christmas, and re-names it to "Xmas". This is totally unrelated to the holiday in Futurama, I swear.

This Is Spinal Tap

 

[Mr.Fox]

This is actually a filmstrip shown to pre-med students.

Harry and the Hendersons

 

[Midoriya]

It's about Harry Potter getting stuck with the Hendersons. Harry doesn't know much about the Hendersons, and they don't know much about Harry Potter. At one point Harry Potter accidentally casts a spell that kills their pet dog, and so the Hendersons call the police. Harry Potter gets into an altercation with the police, and the police are confused as to why he's waving a wand around. They shoot him, and take him away while he's screaming. The end.

Megamind

 

[Yoshi155]

Instead, it’s just about a really smart guy. He has a IQ far beyond that of a normal human, or any documented human. But he can’t do cool things like mind reading or telekinesis. That wouldn’t be realistic. He’s just a really smart guy. That’s it. That’s the entire movie.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

 

[Mr.Fox]

Turns out the clones were all of C3PO, so there wasn’t much of an attack.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

The movie already ruined itself on its own!

Some Like It Hot

 

[SkyKnight03]

Global Warming ruins the movie.

Meet Dave

 

[QueenCobra]

Dave and Buster’s splits into just “Dave” and becomes a boring dive bar.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

It’s just the dodgeball episode of South Park on a repeated loop for two hours.

The Room (Tommy Wiseau movie)

 

[Yoshi155]

It’s just a couple sitting in a room for the entire run time. So it’s kind of like Saw. Anything’s better than what this movie actually ended up being. It’s… tearing me apart just thinking about it.

The Princess Bride

 

[TN4U]

A woman gets married, and her newlywed husband likes to call her “princess” as a compliment way too much. She ends up becoming so annoyed of being called “princess” that she files a divorce.

Movie over.

A Streetcar Named Desire

 

[QueenCobra]

A lonely conductor named his streetcar Desire, accidentally bringing it to life and causing it to talk to him and veer off the route, causing a few traffic accidents.

Hairspray (2007)

 

[SkyKnight03]

Since the baltimore bridge is gone, Tracy Turnblad misses her audition.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

 

[TN4U]

It’s the Dennis Hopper Mario movie from 1993, but now animated with CGI. As a result, the characters look and act nothing like the video game series. Charles Martinet was asked to voice some of the characters one last time before he officially retired, but was disgusted at how uncreative the Hollywood production team was compared to Nintendo themselves, and the director instead brought on Danny DeVito. You know what they say: Hollywood is always right!

Rebel Without a Cause

 

[Mr.Fox]

James Dean has a fevered dream about pollution and decides to take up a cause…with Greenpeace. The entire film focuses on his attempt to get people to drive electric vehicles, but since it’s the 1950s everyone thinks he’s crazy.

Gladiator

 

[SkyKnight03]

I insert myself into the movie and triumph easily. With cheat codes.

The Spongebob SqaurePants Movie

 

[TN4U]

Remember that one episode when Patchy the Pirate found a lost SpongeBob VHS tape that turned out to contain "a bunch of cheap walk cycles"? Well, the movie is entirely that.

Balto

 

[Mr.Fox]

The dogs get back with the medicine but everyone has already perished.

Tarzan