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What's Bothering You?

Two days ago we had a beautiful, blooming Magnolia tree. Yesterday, all the blooms died because it’s been too cold for the past three days. Who decided to plant this thing in the wrong zone 😭😤 I’d like to educate them on plant zones.

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I overthink and worry way too much.. but I have this.. almost gut feeling; that something is wrong. I don't want to pressure my bf, but I can sense something is off with him. He was over last night and he was so quiet, not his typical chipper self. He won't talk to me about anything, and.. I guess that'd explain why he's been so distant with me lately. Maybe he just doesn't want to be with me anymore.. :")

I ask for way too much reassurance as it is, so I'm trying to self-soothe and distract myself as best as I can... but.. I still feel very nervous..
 
my housing situation is so unstable. my mom just got her check two days ago, and by late morning it was all gone. my dad got paid today, and now they're over $700 in the hole. our internet might get shut off soon. I don't even know what the hell my dad is doing about out mortgage or other utilities. wouldn't be surprised if we're on the verge of eviction again.

earlier I wondered if, maybe, the reason why I'm freaking out so much about it is because of hypomania, because I so tend to feel a sense of panic and urgency when I'm hypomanic. but at the same time, if someone else were in my situation, living in a nasty house with a dysfunctional family that has no sense of security or stability, then I expect they would react similarly, if not the same. I'm not gonna gaslight myself into thinking it's just my hypomania and there's actually nothing wrong, that I'm just making it up. I'm really not, and I'm really tired of this. I'm not gonna live like this any longer.

now I'm speaking hypothetically, but I  might potentially have a place that I can go to, if I have an intake session and they decide that that would be possible for me. I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope for the best. there's no more room for me to keep my expectations low. this ends now, one way or another.
Post automatically merged:

Mimi Cheems said:
I overthink and worry way too much.. but I have this.. almost gut feeling; that something is wrong. I don't want to pressure my bf, but I can sense something is off with him. He was over last night and he was so quiet, not his typical chipper self. He won't talk to me about anything, and.. I guess that'd explain why he's been so distant with me lately. Maybe he just doesn't want to be with me anymore.. :")

I ask for way too much reassurance as it is, so I'm trying to self-soothe and distract myself as best as I can... but.. I still feel very nervous..
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I definitely understand this feeling, if you want to talk to someone about it you can reach out to me 💗
 
honestly feeling really depressed this morning, I just want to stay in my warm and cozy bed in the dark and do nothing.

I would say "oh it's because I'm bipolar and I deal with depression", and that could possibly be part of it. but I don't think that's it. because I won't lie, I think even a normal healthy person would feel depressed after going through what I've dealt with in the last week.

I just hope something turns around soon. 😔
 
I'm so fed up when someone else messes up they say it's my fault. When I'm not in the same room, it's my fault. When I'm not in the same building, it's my fault. I'm told 'You should have done this, you should have done that'. I'm not perfect and if I get something wrong, I'll admit it, but it feels as if I get blamed for everyone else's mistakes.
 
This is kinda dumb but I was supposed to go to bed around now but I can't because I'm upset. I can never sleep when I'm upset.
I always turned automatic renewal off for my Switch Online subscription because there isn't any money on the account. Makes sense, right? Well, I finally renewed it and went to turn that off, only to see it looks like they decided to change it so you have to cancel your subscription too. I'm so confused? The email I was automatically sent still has the old information saying it won't cancel it... I'm getting mixed messages here. It literally said "Cancel your subscription by turning off automatic renewal" when I went into the settings... I don't remember it being worded this way? Was it always? I think I would remember being confused each time, but who knows...
If it really has changed, this means I have to wait until next year just to turn it off and not find out what happens if I have eShop debt or something. It's all giving me terrible anxiety and that's why I can't sleep yet.
 
Seastar said:
This is kinda dumb but I was supposed to go to bed around now but I can't because I'm upset. I can never sleep when I'm upset.
I always turned automatic renewal off for my Switch Online subscription because there isn't any money on the account. Makes sense, right? Well, I finally renewed it and went to turn that off, only to see it looks like they decided to change it so you have to cancel your subscription too. I'm so confused? The email I was automatically sent still has the old information saying it won't cancel it... I'm getting mixed messages here. It literally said "Cancel your subscription by turning off automatic renewal" when I went into the settings... I don't remember it being worded this way? Was it always? I think I would remember being confused each time, but who knows...
If it really has changed, this means I have to wait until next year just to turn it off and not find out what happens if I have eShop debt or something. It's all giving me terrible anxiety and that's why I can't sleep yet.
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That’s not dumb at all. I always did the same thing even though I don’t have a card connected to my account and always use an E shop card when I renew. I don’t remember it reading that way in the past. It’s really weird that they would change that .
 
I thought I was through with being sick but I'm still having some symptoms. Jesus Christ, won't this **** just go away?

I've been looking forward to the weekend since I had a rough week at school, but my dad and his political ideas are just making me mad. I don't even like politics but he always finds a way to shove it into every conversation. The **** he spews out makes me wanna live in this house (hell, province) even less.

And I just spilled coffee on my keyboard again. ****ing hell.
 
Moving is killing me. I won't have full time employment until after my last clinical in August, and my husband is trying to find a new job in the area we're moving to ASAP. But every place we try to rent through has requirements like 3 months of pay stubs from a local job... how can we provide that if we're not in the area yet??? I just hate moving.
 
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