Telling your friends you love them?

[Croconaw]

Obviously there’s a line between someone you just became friends with or aren’t that close and someone you’ve been friends with a very long time or super close with.

I used to say “I love you” to my best friend who I had known for a few years but I don’t talk with her anymore. We just grew apart, but that was probably the closest I’ve ever got to someone. This was strictly online, though, as we never met in real life. However, she had initiated the “I love you” after about two years of friendship.

I’ve noticed I’ve gotten more comfortable with saying it to my real life friends in a platonic way. It’s more something I feel rather than saying it to them, though. I know it’s perfectly normal to say this phrase to your best friend or close friends, but I know this phrase can make some people uncomfortable or can be misinterpreted in a non-platonic way. That’s why I’d always throw in a “you’re like my best friend, I love you” or something.

Do you tell your best friends/close friends or even friends that you love them? Is it normal for you or do you reserve it for only your very close friends? I have a platonic love for all of my friends but I don’t usually say it unless we are super close or you’re my best friend.

 

[Midoriya]

Yeah, I usually just say "I love you as a friend" whenever I say it. They almost always appreciate it.

 

[-Mars-]

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[Violet Witch]

I say it to my best friend if we've not spoken in a while usually as "Loooooove you lots" so it doesn't come across as creepy or weird and she'll say it back to me every now and then too. The reason I also say it is because life is short and you don't know what could happen tomorrow. I'd rather she know how much she means to me in the form of a friendly love.

 

[Belle T]

I think my closest friends all know me as someone who is not reluctant to express her feelings towards her friends and loved ones. I tell friends of platonic nature all the time that I love them and that they mean the world to me, and there's very little that could convince me to change my ways. Particularly after this pandemic and other disasters, no matter how cliche it may seem, you must make it a habit to let the people you care about know how you feel. Sometimes it's a bit awkward, but I've learned that a momentary bit of awkwardness is considerably more tolerable than the alternative.

The difference for me, I suppose, is whether or not that becomes a ritual. There are friends I will unblinkingly say "I love you" to without thinking about it, but will I be compelled to say it every single time we part ways, the same way I might when a romantic partner leaves for work or something like that? Probably not. This is something I brought up in the "dude" thread as well, but the same words definitely have different meaning depending on how they are said, not just what they are saying. The ritualistic passing of "I love you" towards platonic friends is often a well-meaning act, but it's also one that is easy to construe for a relationship of much greater intimacy. Let's just say it gets a little bit tense when you have a habit of saying that to your friend and people start to insinuate that there's more going on behind the scenes, and then their actual romantic partner finds out and is none too pleased. I'm not speaking from experience, shut up!!!

I should probably qualify that last section by saying that using "I love you" as parting words isn't in and of itself bad; just be careful about frequency and context.

And I should also say that this is not an excuse to be clingy or to invade another person's personal space or to force them to become closer to you than they are comfortable with. None of those constitute the behavior of a "loving" relationship platonic or otherwise, so er... just don't.

 

[Alienfish]

Not really, it might give off weird vibes to be honest to me personally cause I'd probably take is a romantic love thing in most cases cause I'm rather close with the friends I have.

Sure I might say I like/appreciate them and it is more neutral and more appreciative for me.

 

[Livia]

I don’t have friends. I don’t even tell my parents that I love them, so I probably wouldn’t tell friends if I had them.

 

[Xara]

life’s too short to not tell the people you love that you love them, so of course i do. however, the last thing i ever want to do is make someone uncomfortable, so in my friendships where “i love you” has yet to be said, i wait for them to say it first so that i know it’s okay and that they’re comfortable with it. i also wait so that i know we’re on the same page because while i love, care for and am very fond of all my friends, i never want to assume that the feeling’s mutual, and i have a hard time determining when it’s appropriate to say it since it always seems to vary. i’ve had friends (and ex partners ) tell me they love me after only a few weeks, and i’ve had friends who didn’t say it until we’ve known each other for a year or longer. it’s never bothered me if a friend says they love me after a few weeks (as long as we’ve been talking at least semi-consistently), but it’s a whole other story if the person i’m dating does it. i have no idea why lol. i also have a friend (though i consider her more of an acquaintance. not anyone on here, by the way!) whose idea of a conversation is to say “i love you” over and over, and i’m not comfortable with that either.

the only friend that i consistently say “i love you” to is my best/closest friend. it’s an online friendship as he lives in the u.s. and i live in canada, but we’ve known each other for almost 5 years now and are quite comfortable with one another. we don’t say it constantly or every day, but we’re comfortable with it and have been saying it since at least the 2nd year of friendship.

with my friends who i don’t verbally say “i love you to”, i try to show/tell them in different ways. i’ll tell them that i appreciate them and that i’m grateful for their friendship and to know them, i’ll do nice things for them such as making bad art for them, etc. i’ll even occasionally say “ily” because while that’s literally just an abbreviation for “i love you”, “ily” is more casual and less likely to overwhelm someone or make them uncomfortable. at least in my opinion lol. a few friends and i also have different variations of saying “i love you” (ex. @/blink. and i say “i lob u” ) which, again, feels more casual to me.

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling your friends you love them. i’ve spent the past couple days worrying about a friend of mine because they went MIA for over 48 hours, and because i was so worried that something bad had happened to them (i panic easily when it comes to people i love and care about, even when there’s no reason to lol), i began regretting not telling them i love them more often. they’ve since responded to my messages and are okay, but it was still a sucky feeling aha. tell the people you love that you love them while you can, in whatever way/s work for you guys.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I honestly never tell anyone I love them, because that's just not part of my love language. the closest I get to actually saying it is like when I'm referring to my dog and I say something like "oh how I love the bean" (bean is his nickname). I will occasionally reply with "love you too" if someone says it first but besides that pretty much everyone who knows me knows I never say it.

I don't think it's weird for friends to say it though, I have lots of friends who say they love me and I always really appreciate that. and if they know me well they know I express my love/gratitude by doing stuff for them or listening to them talk about their passion(s) or cheering them up when they're sad

 

[Chris]

All the time, to everyone, and often without thinking.

When I date someone new I warn them that I throw the word around very easily so not to overthink my usage of it.

 

[TurnipBell20]

I say ‚I love you‘ to people I‘m meeting for the second time in my life, lol. I guess I am just a very loving person.

 

[LadyDestani]

I don't personally use it with my friends so I voted no, but I don't necessarily think it's weird. I know a lot of people say it in a platonic way and there's nothing wrong with that. However, I'm much more reserved in my use of the word love. I typically only use it with a romantic partner, and they have to say it first, or close family.

 

[MiniPocketWorld]

I have but it was only with a few friends that I was close with. And it started with them saying it first. Many of them dealt with depression, so that may have been a driving factor. I noticed more people have picked up on the habit in the mid 2000s in my area? I think it is important to let your friends know things like that though. After all, many people few friends as family.

 

[nyx~]

I don't tell my friends, or really anyone for that matter, that I love them often at all to be honest. I of course do, I just don't really verbally say it. I remember in a few instances saying things like I love and care about you for comfort reasons or I'll say it back if my friend says it but I'm not really the person to just say it randomly idk. It doesn't weird me out or anything if someone says it to me though, I'm just more of a showing I love someone then saying it kinda person.

 

[Stella-Io]

I've told 2 of my friends 'I love you' in like a casual, friendly, not romantic type of way (is that what platonic means?). Like, I didn't say I love you exactly, but I said it in a way that gets the message across that I care about them, while somehow still using to word love. Idk maybe it was also the tone of my voice, I can't remember how I said it.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

I only say it to two of my closest online friends, but we all know that it's in a platonic way. I also say it with one of my IRL friends, but then again that friend is always telling me, "Will you marry me?", "Can I kiss you?", etc. I think they're joking, though. XP

 

[Mairen]

I sadly don't have very many friends any more, but I'm certainly an "I love you" kind of friend once we become comfortable enough with each other. Friends are so dear to me and I live with the philosophy of, "tell them they matter while you have the chance to."

 

[Dunquixote]

I never said it to personal friends (don’t have many left sadly) or was comfortable with the idea, but ever since I joined this discord server and made a lot of friends there, it seems to be perfectly normal to say i love you bestie or such since I see everyone doing it; it is like “ilya or ilysm.” It is a really nice and wholesome community.

 

[Squidward]

I think it's very nice and should be encouraged, but personally I'm very uncomfortable with expressing my emotions verbally.
(Also I don't really have friends. )

 

[Romaki]

Depends on the person. I'm very lovey dovey, so my friends should expect it.