driving

[Weebgirlstan]

hii im just gonna rant here but my friends are starting to get their permit and i started thinking maybe i should but the next day im in a car going school shopping and im literally scared to be on the road the thought of it scares me the loud noises and everything ticks me if you dont know i have anxiety and when i got home i realized something is wrong with me why can't i drive but i know its my anxiety but still gets me sad like whats wrong with me and i just wanted to ask when did yall get your permit

 

[Midoriya]

I got my permit when I was 15 I think. Never got my actual license though or a car, so I can't drive. It's not entirely necessary for me to get to places, and it's too dangerous for me to drive anyway because of my Aspergers/ASD.

 

[g u a v a]

i got my permit through my driver's ed and got my license when i turned 18.

im sorry you're having anxiety while driving, maybe with more experience under your belt it will lessen?

 

[Pyoopi]

I waited till I was 17 or 18 when I got my permit and then waited till I was 19 for my license because I didn't want to take my second driving lesson on the highway. It was hard for me to pass my driving exam since I dealt with test anxiety. I failed three times.

The frustrating thing was it wasn't because I was erratic or did something dangerous; it was because of small nit-picky things like not doing a 'sharp left' which means go to the far left when turning at the light. (I don't know how I was supposed to know that term. I never heard anyone say "take a sharp left/right" to me in my life) So I was getting small markings which was annoying. I practiced with my mom who would white knuckle the emergency handle all the time (she was awful to drive with).

But, it's a hard thing to give advice for since everyone's anxiety is all different.

I live in the suburbs and driving is a necessity or I'm going nowhere. There is also using shared ride services but that's money. For me, I mainly practiced in business parks for awhile before I began driving on surface streets then highways. I also practiced in empty parking lots to practice parking and backing out. I think constant repetition will help a lot.

 

[shellbell]

I never got my full driver's licence. When I was 18 or 20, I think I got to level 1 in driving and level 2 in motorcycle (there are 3 levels) and then I just let them both expire because driving was not necessary for me. My partner (late 20s) just got his level 1 a couple years ago. His sister (mid 20s) also shares similar feelings as you (anxious, scary, doesn't like it, and for environmental reasons) has never even attempted to get a licence. She bought an e-bicycle (with a little cart attachment) instead and travels/hauls stuff that way.

Don't sweat it so much, driving's not for everybody. You can practice and attempt for it when you're ready. I've personally seen people who look like they're in their 40s or 50s at the beginner's testing centre. Don't feel pressured to do something just because everyone else is doing it.

 

[ali.di.magix]

I didn't get my learners (equivalent to a permit) until I was about 19 or 20, and got my full license last year. It's perhaps one of my biggest regrets leaving it so late to get my license because it hindered me so much. Public transport sucked in my city, so I could hardly rely on it unless absolutely necessary. I had to rely on friends and my parents to get anywhere which made me feel bad for them having to take me everywhere. Driving would have made my life so much easier.

I was also a nervous driver to start with. I've had reoccurring nightmares my whole life of losing control of a vehicle and crashing, which definitely put me off driving for a while. I practiced over and over again out in a quiet suburb (it was basically abandoned) until I was ready for busier roads. Nowadays I love driving though. I hope you can overcome your fears and give it a go

 

[Princess Mipha]

I'm pretty late on getting my driving license, but I got it when I was 24 years old, so not even a year ago. I was extremelly anxious about driving aswell, even with the driving teacher sitting next to me I was always sweating so much, my poor driving teachers carseat was literally wet after that, lol. When it came to the exam day, oh my oh my. I was so lucky to get one of the sweetest tester ever. I was so anxious about everything, I literally started crying when she asked about my name.
I did tons of mistakes, which didn't help the anxiety to be less either, especially that I had to drive in a big city, while the whole time I trained in a small town. But anyways, I did it first try! The first time sitting alone in a car, I can't tell you I wasn't anxious. I wanted to throw up, was scared that I would crash or what so ever. But no, they won't give you the driving license, if they don't think you're capable of driving. It will take a while until the anxiety goes away, but it will eventually. As I'm still fairly new to driving I'm not a hundred percent over it yet, but it's a lot better. It takes time, but it will be fine.

And the story of my brother: When he got his driving license, directly after he didn't drive for 2 or 3 years, because he was too scared of doing so. He had to redo a test to make sure that he didn't forget how to actually drive a car, since he didn't touch one at all (imagine paying over 3.000€ for something and then not using it. Yeah, parents weren't happy xD). But anyways, once he was brave enough to actually start driving and redid some tests he said he regretted to not drive for all that time. Sure, he was anxious like hell aswell at the beginning, but he's a really good driver nowadays, full of confidence and loving it!

 

[Jhine7]

I got my permit the day after my 16th birthday (NYS, U.S. age min.), and my driver’s license about 6 months later (also the min.). It was a little scary the first time getting onto the road and out of a parking lot, but you eventually get used to it and now it’s nothing.

However I know people who didn’t get their license into their 20s. Nothing to be ashamed of at all, just gotta know when you’re ready and go for it! Good luck!

 

[Violet Witch]

However I know people who didn’t get their license into their 20s. Nothing to be ashamed of at all, just gotta know when you’re ready and go for it! Good luck!

I wish people like yourself would say this more often to those who don't drive and show a bit more understanding in general.

I'm 34 and have never learned because the thought of driving just freaks me out plus in the UK driving lessons can be quite expensive and currently the waiting list to learn is pretty long due COVID. I've had people tell me I need to learn as it'll give me an abundance of independence which I know, but sometimes it's not easy to just book up a theory test followed by driving lessons when your confidence level isn't the same as everyone else around you.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

I think I got my permit at 15 or 16. I failed the first test because I got a grumpy old man instructor. Take driving classes! That is the best way to learn. And never ever text while driving. It can wait.

 

[TillyGoesMeow]

I actually started driving at 19 because I was super scared too! I agree with everyone saying take a class. Practice will make it soooo much less scary than it was before. They can control the car as well as you, it's pretty neat! Goodluck with whatever you decide.

 

[.: Meri :.]

I'm 22 and I've never even gotten a driver's permit. I was planning to try to get mine around 15-16, but that's pretty much when I discovered that it gave me pretty bad panic attacks (and I do mean actual panic attacks). I'm beginning to suspect that I might also be on the autistic spectrum, but I'm not in a good place to get a diagnosis right now. Because that hasn't lessened and the thought of driving is still so distressing to me, I have no current plans to try and learn—my goal is to eventually move somewhere with a better public transport system instead. My grandmother never got her license and it's sadly caused her a good deal of trouble, so I'm hoping that I can avoid at least some of that this way. The other plus is that public transport is better for the environment anyway, so hey.

In any case, there's nothing wrong with you and driving isn't for everyone. If driving is something that you want to be able to do, and you want to overcome your anxiety over it, then I hope you can. It's possible that it will go away with practice and experience. But if you genuinely don't want to drive, then just know that there are alternatives, and I hope you can find one that works for you/the area you're in.

 

[TheSillyPuppy]

I got my learner's permit at 16 (minimum age in Ontario for G1), took lessons and practiced with my mom in the car until I could take the G2 road test, and finally my full, unrestricted license at 18 during my first semester at university.

Like anything else, you get rusty if you don't practice...which I haven't had to do with covid because my company's been fully remote since I joined in May 2020.

I think it's common to be at least slightly nervous to go behind the wheel, especially when first starting to learn how to drive. Just to give you some perspective, even my parents, who have been driving for 40-ish years now, actively avoid going on certain major highways in the province because there are truly some reckless drivers that make it extremely unsafe for themselves and everyone sharing the road with them.

Learning how to drive defensively is key and understanding the general "personas" of drivers in your neighbourhood, state, etc. will help you better predict what other drivers around you are more likely to do. Having an understanding of and appreciation for physics (namely Newton's Laws of Motions and the concept of momentum) has also helped me.

If it's feasible, another option instead of driving is taking public transit instead. Not only is it better than the environment, but it may also cost less in the long run (taking into account owning/leasing a car, gas, car insurance). You also minimize the number of brain cells you lose from dealing with reckless and/or braindead drivers.

We're all on our own journey in life, so remember that as well. I wish you success with whichever decision you make for yourself!

 

[Tao]

Driving is pretty easy IMO. Honestly, the most difficult part is getting into the car for the first time after you've hyped up how difficult it's going to be. If you live in the US, it's even easier as the roads are better built for driving and automatics are far more common and if you can drive a gokart, you can drive an automatic.

If you're not in the US, manuals aren't really much more difficult once you're used to and know how to use the clutch.

Just learn the rules of the road and be weary of other cars. Assume that other cars might hit you and it'll encourage you to maneuver so they won't.

[Edit] I should add that I have not driven longer than I've driven in my adult life. I'm 30 and got my licence at like 27. Up until then I told myself that I didn't see the point, that I didn't need to drive and that it wouldn't make a difference to my life. Now I don't know what I would do without it. The freedom being able to drive gives you is insane.

 

[daringred_]

i'm 22, don't have a driver's license and don't plan to get one. i have a provisional, but i only ever got it for ID purposes -- i've never actually been behind the wheel of a car. my girlfriend (same age) is currently taking driving lessons, and they're cleaning out her savings, which is one reason i'm not inclined to bother. the other (main) reason is just anxiety and mild transport-based dystychiphobia that gets worse if i don't know the person driving and also probably would if i was driving myself.

 

[Alienfish]

I never got mine (I'm 29 for context) and I can definitely understand anxiety... I've been trying to learn to drive but I think it's a bit too much for me being on the road and stuff with it.

Also the fact people can¨t drive properly for life here makes me even more annoyed and wonder how some actually got theirs, did they bribe the driving school or? lol.

 

[-Lumi-]

I've never learned how to drive or even made an effort to learn how to and I'm 23 years old. The only reason I've been somewhat tempted to learn to drive is because a lot of nanny jobs want their nanny's to be able to drive - which makes sense! But I would be terrified if I was driving somebody's children around so even if I did have one, I don't think I'd want to use it for that purpose.

My dad often jokes that I absorbed all of his post-crash anxiety, lmao, and that might be true. He's perfectly comfortable while driving and it actually calms him to drive, despite being in a life-changing accident. I wasn't with him at the time of the crash so it doesn't really make sense but I think growing up and being in an almost care-taker-esque roll sometimes for him has made my fear of driving increase. His car accident totally uprooted and changed our lives and while he's never shown any anxiety when driving it still absolutely terrifies me. I've had to sit in the drivers seat only a handful of times - never even to drive just to pop the hood or do something like that and it always makes me so anxious and has thrown me into a panic attack before when I thought I was accidentally starting the car/putting it in drive.

I don't think I'd be a very good or confident driver because there's simply too much going on. There's too much that I'm in control of and so much that I'm not in control of and need to put my faith in other drivers for, which is nerve-wracking. Plus then there's driving in various weather conditions, potentially going on the highway, etc. I'm much more comfortable walking places (so I'm grateful that my town is small enough to be walkable in that respect) or if I lived somewhere with bigger and more reliable public transit I would rather take that, too. I wish more cities/towns put more effort into having accessible transportation because not everybody wants to or can drive.

 

[Kattea]

I got my permit when I was 22, and didn’t actually start driving until I was 23 (I have anxiety as well and driving is a major trigger). I started having to drive to different locations for my job and got used to driving that way, but it definitely took a lot of practice. Now I live in a new city where I don’t know any of the roads (my worst nightmare) and it’s going okay! I do still get minor anxiety on the roads but it’s getting better!

 

[Croconaw]

I’m 23, and getting a license has very rarely crossed my mind. I don’t believe I would drive enough to justify the car payment, and I’ve sort of had this fear of driving. I would definitely love to drive for Uber as a full-time job sometime in the future, but right now, that’s just a mere thought. I still don’t think I’d get a license anytime in the near future because I am currently paying on a dental bill, and my monthly payment is very similar to the amount on a car payment, and I’m still wanting to get my own apartment soon. I will likely get minor anxiety when driving though.

 

[JellyBeans]

i got my learners when i turned 17 (minimum UK age to start lessons) and passed just under a month before i turned 18 thanks to a few covid delays. i definitely had a fair bit of anxiety surrounding aspects of it, especially the thought of stalling after a rough incident at some traffic lights, but i've found that the more practice i get in - even just going down to local shops and back - the easier it starts to feel. but driving definitely isn't for everyone, and there's no rush to do it immediately - whenever you feel like you're ready is the right time to do it! and lessons definitely take a healthy chunk out of your savings so i feel pretty lucky to have been able to get it done.