I've had my butt slapped before and had a stalker in high school simply because I treated him nicely. I thought he just needed a friend because he found out my friend didn't like him...then he would creepily hang out around me and my friends and eat while watching us during lunch.
Women and Men: Ever experienced sexual harrasment in public?
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Kissyme100
❀੯ू❛ัू Ż
I had a couple minor accidents like older men(like grandpa old) or homeless people trying to hit on men. The worst thing that happened to me during the summer was when I was 16, I was walking around town after work, grabbing snacks for a meet up with my friends. It was the middle of the day and there was lots of people around so, I felt safe. I was wearing a floral dress that came JUST above my knees. (not that it matters what someone wears, sexual harassment is still wrong) and the moment I passed this guy, he started following me, staring at me.. I noticed this and walked a little faster and he starts walking faster. I quickly ran across a parking lot and this car drove between us. I grabbed my phone (to text my friend about this creepy guy) and I guess he saw my phone and walked off somewhere else. I've never seen him after that so, I think he was a tourist.
Other then that one time, I feel very safe where I live.
Other then that one time, I feel very safe where I live.
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yes, but this is problem is overshadowed by real terrible situations. I feel men are quick to add in these scenarios when talking about the rights of women. You don't see people demeaning victims of theft by "sometimes people falsely accuse others of stealing" even if it does happen.
I don't mean to offend you, but "false accusations" is not the topic of the thread. Again, please if I offended you, I'm sorry! But your post slightly unsettled me.
As you can see, so many women on this board have experience REAL and terrible things, and that's incredibly saddening.
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Mayorofarcadia
My name is Emma c:
Thankfully I haven't experienced it full on.
Like, at the gym this creepy 40yo often winks at me and calls me babe..
And I often feel people gawking at me, (gym clothes are just impossible especially with a chest and ass)
But this thread is important.
Like, at the gym this creepy 40yo often winks at me and calls me babe..
And I often feel people gawking at me, (gym clothes are just impossible especially with a chest and ass)
But this thread is important.
No, it's fine! I can understand how it would make you feel. The things some people have talked about on this thread are truly awful, and I'm not trying to say they're irrelevant or anything of the sort. When I say real, I just mean more. Like, you couldn't compare rape to being looked at, for example. That's what I mean by real. Sexual harassment comes in many different forms, but it seems as if a lot of women are creating stereotypes for men.
I bet that if any man genuinely said anything nice to that woman in the video Brielle shared, it would have been cut. The video is only a minute long anyway, and she had supposedly been walking for 10 hours. I'm sorry if anything I've said in this thread has upset you or anyone else. It's just difficult for me when I see a world where the most innocent of actions are taken out of context.
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I was at a concert and a SECURITY GAURD (kinda ironic) grabbed my hips to get past me in the pit and totally rubbed his junk against me. There was more than enough space for him to just walk behind me without touching me. It was absolutely ridiculous
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Whistling at someone is not an "innocent action." It is sexualizing someone, and when that attention is unwanted, it is sexual harassment. I'm sorry, but older men looking at young women and not only thinking of them sexually, but making it known out loud to the individual that they are thinking of them sexually is absolutely repulsive. And, having been in the situation personally, it can be extremely uncomfortable and thus could be deemed as harassment.
I get what you're saying that not EVERY comment has an insidious motive, but the thing is as a woman, we can usually tell the difference between the innocent comments and the ones that we feel sexually harassed by, and therefore would not bring up those moments in a discussion about sexual harassment.
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Whistling at someone is not an "innocent action." It is sexualizing someone, and when that attention is unwanted, it is sexual harassment. I'm sorry, but older men looking at young women and not only thinking of them sexually, but making it known out loud to the individual that they are thinking of them sexually is absolutely repulsive. And, having been in the situation personally, it can be extremely uncomfortable and thus could be deemed as harassment.
I get what you're saying that not EVERY comment has an insidious motive, but the thing is as a woman, we can usually tell the difference between the innocent comments and the ones that we feel sexually harassed by, and therefore would not bring up those moments in a discussion about sexual harassment.
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I was going to say something similar. Thanks for bringing these important points up.
Last summer during an anime convention, I had to walk to UPS to get more prints printed (unfortunately, the FedEx in the hotel was closed, which is sad for them because I'm sure tons of artists would have used it).
Anyway, on my way back, some random guy came up to me and kept talking to me. He kept offering me random stuff and I just kept saying, "no thanks". I tried to walk faster but he just kept following me and asking me where I was going. I found a group of girls also walking back to the hotel and said, " there you are! I've been looking for you!" The guy left after, and I had to explain to the girls what happened.
Anyway, on my way back, some random guy came up to me and kept talking to me. He kept offering me random stuff and I just kept saying, "no thanks". I tried to walk faster but he just kept following me and asking me where I was going. I found a group of girls also walking back to the hotel and said, " there you are! I've been looking for you!" The guy left after, and I had to explain to the girls what happened.
If this was a continuous thing and I was being stalked, it would be different, but it's like wanting to kill somebody because they wink at you. If you don't want them to, tell them to stop, and if they don't, then you can call it sexual harassment. Harassment implies it's pressuring and continuous.
I'm not saying it's particularly right. A gentleman wouldn't be that forceful, and as a male myself, I know I wouldn't do anything of that nature to anybody, and I truly do feel sorry for whatever it is that happened in your situation. You and no other woman can automatically tell whether a comment is sexual or not, though. That's complete rubbish. If anything, it's a matter of assumption. That's still not your fault, though. It's society's fault that everything is sexualised.
Again, I feel that any man (or woman) who does that should keep it to themselves, but all I'm saying is that people need to lighten up about it unless it's legitimate harassment. The people in this thread have been legitimately harassed. I was not directing my comment at anybody in particular.
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Well then it's just a matter of opinion. I feel that any unwanted sexual attention directed at me is legitimate harassment, and I'm not speaking for every woman but I am sure there are other women who feel the same. Who are you to tell me that my feeling harassed is not "legitimate?" No offense, but as a male you really don't have a leg to stand on saying "lighten up" to women who feel harassed or uncomfortable in these situations. Sure, maybe you're a "gentleman" who doesn't do that, but that doesnt really matter in the grand scheme of things because there are still a lot of men who DO do that. You don't really deserve a medal for this "gentleman" bull****, no offense. It's common decency.
And how do you know if I and other women can't tell a comment is sexual or not? How would you even prove that? What a stupid thing to say.
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Lots of "accidental" chest touching, lots of openly staring at my cleavage, lots of inappropriate comments, cat calling, whistling, etc.
Countless times. :/ online and IRL.
I kind of just learned to smile and GTFO as soon as possible.
(I might start making a huge scene about it if there's other people around now though; they deserve to feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel.)
Countless times. :/ online and IRL.
I kind of just learned to smile and GTFO as soon as possible.
(I might start making a huge scene about it if there's other people around now though; they deserve to feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel.)
i know that you two are having an argument right now, but i have to butt in and say that i think this conversation has gone a bit too far. if you two keep this up, this entire thread may be closed by a mod, so please stop.
i'm not saying that anyone is right. however, what i am saying is that this should be taken somewhere else aka PM, VM, or anything else i haven't mentioned. this thread is a place where people can share their experiences and console one another, knowing that they're not alone -- NOT a place where people can argue about what is and isn't sexual harassment (which is somewhat ridiculous, why bring that up HERE of all threads?).
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First of all this isn't an argument this is a discussion, so umm I'm not sure what to tell you. With that said, I would prefer not to continue this conversation in PM so please don't PM me lmao
Yes, I think this should end. I'm very sorry for whatever I've done to start an argument, but I'm just speaking my mind here. I had no intentions of starting any arguments with anybody.
Did you even read what I said? I'm not sure if I should even bother knocking sense into that head of yours. I do not speak for any woman or man, and I do not condone any disrespectful actions against either gender, whether it be sexual or not. That's as far as I'm going here. You're taking everything I've said out of context to make me sound like a stereotypical male, and it's absolutely ridiculous.
I never said women should lighten up about sexual harassment. I'm saying you shouldn't ambush men just because they look at you or tell you to have a nice day. There's a big difference between being harassed and being spoken to. If I were feeling at all uncomfortable with what someone was saying or doing to me, I'd let them know and get out of there. Do you think I expect women to just suck up to men? I don't. I am nobody to tell you to do that either. Also, why would I want a medal? And when did I say I was a gentleman? You're just putting words in my mouth.
I think anyone with a brain would be able to tell if somebody was flirting with you or not, but flirting is not sexual harassment unless you've told them to stop and they won't. You're making me sound like some old, sexist pain in the butt, but I probably think more of women than you do, and I'm gay! I just wasn't aware of the fact women have magical abilities.
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from a viewer standpoint, this is an argument. once again, i ask you to stop.
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then do VMs. anywhere else, just not here.
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then do VMs. anywhere else, just not here.
I've said my peace. I'm done. I'm so sorry.
