Ghost Soda
(he him or they them)
Fortunately, it never happened to me, and if someone ever did that to me or someone I care about, I'll go ape**** on them.
Women and Men: Ever experienced sexual harrasment in public?
- Thread starter oreo
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Celestefey
どうでもいい
Thankfully, I have never experienced anything as bad as some of you guys have mentioned. To be honest, I've had some creepy teenage boys try to chat me and my friends up before when we've been out at a shopping center or walking back to my house or something, and ask for my number or their number or something... Which was horrifying and terrifying enough. Usually though, they are a laughing loudly and it just comes across as being really intimidating. I remember one time some boy came over to me and my friend and was like "That guy over there wants your number". He ran off, but I noticed my friend give him the most EVIL death stare I had ever seen. Then she said to me: "I was gonna kick him if he carried on", because she's a black belt in Taekwondo. xD In all honesty, it was rather intimidating and threatening, and I'd have liked to have seen someone get a taste of their own medicine. Some real creepers out there, to say the least!
I've had my fair share of catcalling/wolf-whistling since around the age of 13 and it still happens now. I've also had people grope my butt in bars before and walk off when I am just standing there ordering a drink and not wearing anything revealing. It makes me so uncomfortable and I have no idea why some people think it's okay to treat random women (or men) they see in public like that.
i've only experienced catcalling and strange/prolonged stares. i never like to go out in public without at least one person i know by my side (preferably my boyfriend or family), so that's probably why i haven't been through more. thank goodness.
my little sister is 7 and she's already had creepy, older guys staring at her. can't stand it. people who sexually harass random strangers are seriously messed up.
my little sister is 7 and she's already had creepy, older guys staring at her. can't stand it. people who sexually harass random strangers are seriously messed up.
cosmic-latte
Sunglasses Emoji
Yes, I've been whistled/shouted at multiple times in the area around my school, wearing my uniform and with friends.
tinytaylor
baby blue sedan
i've been cat called and scooped a couple of times. i'm sure there are other things but i'd rather not dwell on all of those horrific incidents rn.
infinikitten
big old brat tbh
Constantly. I could write a lot about this subject but I think I'd be in tears by the end of it, honestly. I'm going to try to keep this shortish for my own mental health but maybe on a better day I'll be able to write more. (Also a bit worried that there's going to be some victim blaming popping up in this thread. I'm going to ask all of you from the bottom of my heart, please don't. Just... don't.)
If I go out alone, or with someone who's not very threatening (I say this because my partner is 6'3 and has a resting ***** face, for lack of a better term - no one even looks twice at me when we're out together, haha), I'm usually accosted by someone in some way shape or form. Groups of men or teenage boys are the worst. I hate walking by them and do everything I can to avoid them. It's very rare that something doesn't get shouted at me.
You know, I'm torn. I have so much to say but I'm scared to delve too deep into it here...
One incident in particular that sticks out was when I was walking in my own neighborhood when I was sixteen or seventeen - bit of background here, my parents are divorced and it was my mother's place, which was in a more suburban community. Safe and quiet streets. But I was walking to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner I think, and a bunch of boys started circling around me on their bikes, following me, yelling extremely vulgar things at me. Nobody groped me but they did seem to think it was hilarious that their close proximity to me was clearly making me upset. I had my headphones on and pretended not to hear it, tried not to respond, because you can never predict what will happen if you do... but I was terrified.
In terms of assaults... they were not by strangers. Most are committed by people the victim knows. I have PTSD and catcalling/harassment was hard to deal with BEFORE, but now? :/ Luckily I don't go out alone much by myself anymore so I haven't had to deal with it recently. My mother and I joke that being harassed by strangers is a "family curse" because she's often bothered as well (though not in a sexual manner as far as I'm aware, thank god) but really it's not funny at all.
And with that, I'm gonna stop for now. I really wish I had the mental fortitude to participate more in this discussion since it's so important to me but...
If I go out alone, or with someone who's not very threatening (I say this because my partner is 6'3 and has a resting ***** face, for lack of a better term - no one even looks twice at me when we're out together, haha), I'm usually accosted by someone in some way shape or form. Groups of men or teenage boys are the worst. I hate walking by them and do everything I can to avoid them. It's very rare that something doesn't get shouted at me.
You know, I'm torn. I have so much to say but I'm scared to delve too deep into it here...
One incident in particular that sticks out was when I was walking in my own neighborhood when I was sixteen or seventeen - bit of background here, my parents are divorced and it was my mother's place, which was in a more suburban community. Safe and quiet streets. But I was walking to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner I think, and a bunch of boys started circling around me on their bikes, following me, yelling extremely vulgar things at me. Nobody groped me but they did seem to think it was hilarious that their close proximity to me was clearly making me upset. I had my headphones on and pretended not to hear it, tried not to respond, because you can never predict what will happen if you do... but I was terrified.
In terms of assaults... they were not by strangers. Most are committed by people the victim knows. I have PTSD and catcalling/harassment was hard to deal with BEFORE, but now? :/ Luckily I don't go out alone much by myself anymore so I haven't had to deal with it recently. My mother and I joke that being harassed by strangers is a "family curse" because she's often bothered as well (though not in a sexual manner as far as I'm aware, thank god) but really it's not funny at all.
And with that, I'm gonna stop for now. I really wish I had the mental fortitude to participate more in this discussion since it's so important to me but...
I was walking into a store, when a group of guys honked their car at me.. in school, this group of guys that looked like 11th or 12th graders were walking really slow in front of me, so I complained to my friend about it. They heard ((which was the goal)), and one of the guys started trying to flirt with me.
J e s s i c a
Too Fabulous for you ~
Edit: Yeah now i think about it this has happen to me but by only by a few boys that i am close friends with that catcalled me and my friends as a joke and start asking us uncomfortable questions and this was a so called "joke" we did not find it funny what so ever and soon sent them packing ~
around the holidays last year some guys in their 20's were following me and my friend while we were christmas shopping
it went on for like 20 minutes but we got really so nervous that we were escorted out by two mall security officers
also i walk home everyday from school and i always walked down a main street where the buses would drive
but on one of the buses (with the high school kids) there are about five people that would yell pretty crude stuff and i see them in school and stuff so it scared me (i walk with my guy friend in the halls now)
so i started walking down side streets too to avoid it
it's so unfortunate how people think it's okay to harass and make advances to women/young girls
my uncle gave me pepperspray when i was seven and i didnt know why then but now i know
it's sad. v sad.
it went on for like 20 minutes but we got really so nervous that we were escorted out by two mall security officers
also i walk home everyday from school and i always walked down a main street where the buses would drive
but on one of the buses (with the high school kids) there are about five people that would yell pretty crude stuff and i see them in school and stuff so it scared me (i walk with my guy friend in the halls now)
so i started walking down side streets too to avoid it
it's so unfortunate how people think it's okay to harass and make advances to women/young girls
my uncle gave me pepperspray when i was seven and i didnt know why then but now i know
it's sad. v sad.
MagicalCat590
Hippie Witch
I used to experience catcalling and all sorts of stuff when I lived in my hometown. People seem to bother me less now that I'm married, though. A few years ago, my husband took me to a horror movie marathon at his college campus for Halloween, and I decided to dress up for fun, and one his friends just kept openly staring at my breasts. The worst time, though, actually happened when I was back at home, living with my mom. I was about 17/18, and one of my ex's used to come by and bring us old movies to watch because we didn't have cable or tv or anything, and my little sister was 3, so we wanted to have stuff we could watch as a family. And then one night, when he was leaving the ex actually grabbed my butt on his way out, and if he ever went somewhere with my mom and I, he would hit on me when my mom wasn't around. Because of my social anxiety, I didn't know how to stand up to this person and tell him no. I just had an anxiety attack whenever he did something. It went on for about four months before I told my mother, and at first she actually didn't believe me. She said I was crazy. Then a month later, he groped me again and I told her that she needed to talk to him and tell him I wasn't okay with it or else I was going to the police to file sexual harassment charges. So she finally talked to him, but I knew she didn't believe me. The ex came back the next, and gave me a free TV and DVD player for my bedroom to keep my mouth shut. A year later when I had just moved in with my husband, I found out that the ex had been arrested for pedophilia.
i've been dragged down a lane by two men before, it was about two years ago so i would have been 16/17 at the time
it was absolutely terrifying and luckily i'd done a very basic self defense module in school, so i was able to get my wrist free and run back to the main road
it all happened very very quickly and i don't tell people about it because i feel like i over-reacted about the whole thing, but i was very shaken and spooked and it terrifies me that that could happen to me in broad daylight in my own city on a main road
obviously i've been wolf-whistled and cat called and shouted at countless times (who hasn't?) and i've been followed at night more times than i can count too
also i was on the train once and the guy sitting next to me put his hand on my thigh, but that and what i've outlined above are the most prominent cases i've had of sexual harrasment in public with strangers
it was absolutely terrifying and luckily i'd done a very basic self defense module in school, so i was able to get my wrist free and run back to the main road
it all happened very very quickly and i don't tell people about it because i feel like i over-reacted about the whole thing, but i was very shaken and spooked and it terrifies me that that could happen to me in broad daylight in my own city on a main road
obviously i've been wolf-whistled and cat called and shouted at countless times (who hasn't?) and i've been followed at night more times than i can count too
also i was on the train once and the guy sitting next to me put his hand on my thigh, but that and what i've outlined above are the most prominent cases i've had of sexual harrasment in public with strangers
I came across quite a lot (well, "a lot", like maybe twenty times a year since I was 11) of guys who whistled at me or called me beautiful, paid me compliments when I was just walking, not asking anything. And though it's not THAT much of a big deal to be honest (at the end of the day I don't care), it makes me mad on the moment, and it makes me even angrier when some people around me are like "Why do you complain? Isn't it nice to get compliments?", and I understand them, but they should know there's a time and a place for everything, and I'm never flattered by strangers, especially when they're just shouting and seem to be really wanting it.
The worst experience I ever had was during the F?te de la Musique (World Music Day), I was in the subway (which was crowded) with my friends, and as people moved at each station, I got a little separated from them. Then I began to feel something touching my behind, I thought it was nothing and just the people pushing each other in the subway, but then I realized there was a guy touching himself right behind me. One of the worst moment of my life. I felt anxious, sacred, and I didn't dare do anything, my heart was beating fast, it was horrible. There were too many people for me to shout or do anything.
But at the next stop, a tall guy looked at me and told me "Is this man annoying you, miss?" and I didn't dare answer that yes, I just babbled something like "Well yeah but it's because it's crowded in here", and so the tall guy grabbed the creep behind me by the ear, pulled him outside shouting "Now you live this young girl alone!", turned out he was a cop and then four others cops arrived and arrested the guy. I didn't press charges against him, I was so chocked I just wanted to go home so I didn't even thank the policeman, I didn't even take the time to stay with them a little... I just wanted to go home and hide, and most importantly, feel safe. On the way home I cried a little...
I do regret not asking for help or defending myself, I do regret not thanking the policemen for their help and their work that I admire so much and that really saved me from embarrassment this time, I do regret feeling terrible on the way back home because of all the people around me, who perfectly knew what was going on, and who just stared at me after the events, talking between themselves and looking at me like I was some sort of attraction for them to gossip about, but then again, when I think about it now, I truly think I had a normal reaction. So yeah. That's my experience with sexual harassment. Could've been worse... could be better. Should be better.
The worst experience I ever had was during the F?te de la Musique (World Music Day), I was in the subway (which was crowded) with my friends, and as people moved at each station, I got a little separated from them. Then I began to feel something touching my behind, I thought it was nothing and just the people pushing each other in the subway, but then I realized there was a guy touching himself right behind me. One of the worst moment of my life. I felt anxious, sacred, and I didn't dare do anything, my heart was beating fast, it was horrible. There were too many people for me to shout or do anything.
But at the next stop, a tall guy looked at me and told me "Is this man annoying you, miss?" and I didn't dare answer that yes, I just babbled something like "Well yeah but it's because it's crowded in here", and so the tall guy grabbed the creep behind me by the ear, pulled him outside shouting "Now you live this young girl alone!", turned out he was a cop and then four others cops arrived and arrested the guy. I didn't press charges against him, I was so chocked I just wanted to go home so I didn't even thank the policeman, I didn't even take the time to stay with them a little... I just wanted to go home and hide, and most importantly, feel safe. On the way home I cried a little...
I do regret not asking for help or defending myself, I do regret not thanking the policemen for their help and their work that I admire so much and that really saved me from embarrassment this time, I do regret feeling terrible on the way back home because of all the people around me, who perfectly knew what was going on, and who just stared at me after the events, talking between themselves and looking at me like I was some sort of attraction for them to gossip about, but then again, when I think about it now, I truly think I had a normal reaction. So yeah. That's my experience with sexual harassment. Could've been worse... could be better. Should be better.
DarkDesertFox
Your Typical Trickster
I feel bad for all the people here who had/have to experience this stuff. It seems to have become an increasing problem with men sexually harassing women the most. When I was younger I was sexually harassed a little by a girl. She touched me in uncomfortable places. I'm a guy so those kind of experiences are rarer for me. It's the only one I can really recall.
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I haven't had a lot of experience with this thankfully...but when I was 11 or 12, I was outside riding my bike when this car slowed down and there were a bunch of middle-aged men in it. One of them leaned out and yelled "heyyy little girl!" then they drove away.
It freaked me out. All I remember about the guy was that he kinda looked like Psy from Gangnam Style.
Another one: around the same timeframe, my dad & I went to a grocery store. There was this creepy old guy that was staring at me the whole time and he was trying to follow us. When we were leaving, he followed us out the door. I ran to the car and we drove away, that creepy old guy kept staring the whole time.
Thank goodness my dad was there...
It freaked me out. All I remember about the guy was that he kinda looked like Psy from Gangnam Style.
Another one: around the same timeframe, my dad & I went to a grocery store. There was this creepy old guy that was staring at me the whole time and he was trying to follow us. When we were leaving, he followed us out the door. I ran to the car and we drove away, that creepy old guy kept staring the whole time.
Thank goodness my dad was there...
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I have, but I guess some of them continued bc I was stupid, didn't want to hurt anyone or cause embarrassment
- In tech ed a couple of years ago, we were in the woodwork unit. This was in the beginning of the year so the instructor was reviewing how to use to machines. Later during the class period while we were practicing cutting nearly "perfect" lines with the machines, I needed help adjusting the blade guard. I stepped aside so the instructor would do it for me, but instead he like..he told me to go back to where I was and instead he adjusted it for me with his arms resting on my shoulders and I swear I felt his hand brush against my chest, like wtf.. =-= and I've had him for my tech ed teacher the following years afterwards
- I had this close guy friend. I've only known him for like a year but we still considered each other as close friends. We both know we have disturbingly perverted minds, so we make a lot of dirty actions and jokes around eachother..then he started just rubbing my back, arms and even legs whenever he'd sit by me. We called it friendly "molesting" as a friend joke, but it was still so weird. I didn't mind bc I actually do the same thing with my girlfriends, so what's the difference ._. Later on he actually slipped his hand up the front of my shirt while his other hand was pinning my unoccupied hand behind my back. Yeah I'm not friends with him anymore
- During lunch, I was standing outside the bathroom waiting for my friend to do her business. While I was waiting for her, the janitor was suppose to be changing the trash..while he was changing it, when he saw me he just stood there staring at me. I tried ignoring him but this went on for another ten seconds. (side note : the shirt I was wearing covered most of my chest but it was really thin so my undergarment outline was faintly visible) Just to break the awkwardness, I said hi and he waved..but he kept staring ._. our convo afterwards:
me : do you want something ?
janitor : no, if you're done eating go back outside
me : I'm waiting for a friend. Is there a reason why you're staring at me ?
janitor: yeah, I just like the design on your shirt. It's really stylish
I took it as a compliment and just went into the bathroom to see if my friend was done..later during the day I realized my shirt didn't even have a design on it >_<
- In tech ed a couple of years ago, we were in the woodwork unit. This was in the beginning of the year so the instructor was reviewing how to use to machines. Later during the class period while we were practicing cutting nearly "perfect" lines with the machines, I needed help adjusting the blade guard. I stepped aside so the instructor would do it for me, but instead he like..he told me to go back to where I was and instead he adjusted it for me with his arms resting on my shoulders and I swear I felt his hand brush against my chest, like wtf.. =-= and I've had him for my tech ed teacher the following years afterwards
- I had this close guy friend. I've only known him for like a year but we still considered each other as close friends. We both know we have disturbingly perverted minds, so we make a lot of dirty actions and jokes around eachother..then he started just rubbing my back, arms and even legs whenever he'd sit by me. We called it friendly "molesting" as a friend joke, but it was still so weird. I didn't mind bc I actually do the same thing with my girlfriends, so what's the difference ._. Later on he actually slipped his hand up the front of my shirt while his other hand was pinning my unoccupied hand behind my back. Yeah I'm not friends with him anymore
- During lunch, I was standing outside the bathroom waiting for my friend to do her business. While I was waiting for her, the janitor was suppose to be changing the trash..while he was changing it, when he saw me he just stood there staring at me. I tried ignoring him but this went on for another ten seconds. (side note : the shirt I was wearing covered most of my chest but it was really thin so my undergarment outline was faintly visible) Just to break the awkwardness, I said hi and he waved..but he kept staring ._. our convo afterwards:
me : do you want something ?
janitor : no, if you're done eating go back outside
me : I'm waiting for a friend. Is there a reason why you're staring at me ?
janitor: yeah, I just like the design on your shirt. It's really stylish
I took it as a compliment and just went into the bathroom to see if my friend was done..later during the day I realized my shirt didn't even have a design on it >_<
Of course. :c
- - - Post Merge - - -
I'm pretty sure most of us would be upset to see women or men compare themselves as victims of rape over something small as a wolf-whistle. Still, it's important for many to reach out to each other about their experiences, regardless if it's something small. There is a difference between a stranger complimenting you on a street in a friendly manner than a person who is persistent with their unwanted actions/conversations even though the victim is clearly not interested or is minding her own business.
