Serious Talk on Sex -Keep It Mature! description about a manga now added

[XTheLancerX]

This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.

 

[GameLaxer]

This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.

First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to feel what you feel...all feelings are valid, but can be very upsetting at times. Just remember that sexuality is a fluid thing, and there is also a natural aptitude for curiosity. You don't have to figure it out today; just try to go with the flow, even though I know it's really hard because you want to pin down "what you identify as"/who you want to be with. See, there are many different forms of sexuality, but the most important part of it, I believe, is the emotional...see who you're most emotionally AND sexually attracted to. It could vary from person to person, but rather than judge yourself, try to see it as an experiment and you're the constant, while the other person is the variable. I went through the same thing that you are going through...well not exact same since I'm a girl. However, sexuality is a spectrum...and even though societal values almost demands this of us...you don't have to label yourself. Just love whomever you want to love. Be whoever you want to be, and don't let anyone, including yourself, hinder your own happiness just because of cultural, familial, etc. ideals. Does that help a bit?

 

[London]

This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.

You're right, it can be scary. Especially if you're just starting to question your sexuality. I don't have a lot of experience in this department, so I'm going to let someone who is experienced take over on the advice front.. But I will say this: you are who you are. No matter how hard to try to change yourself, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. There's absolutely nothing wrong with bi-sexual fantasies, whether you are straight or not. And don't let anyone ever tell you differently <3

 

[XTheLancerX]

You're right, it can be scary. Especially if you're just starting to question your sexuality. I don't have a lot of experience in this department, so I'm going to let someone who is experienced take over on the advice front.. But I will say this: you are who you are. No matter how hard to try to change yourself, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. There's absolutely nothing wrong with bi-sexual fantasies, whether you are straight or not. And don't let anyone ever tell you differently <3

First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to feel what you feel...all feelings are valid, but can be very upsetting at times. Just remember that sexuality is a fluid thing, and there is also a natural aptitude for curiosity. You don't have to figure it out today; just try to go with the flow, even though I know it's really hard because you want to pin down "what you identify as"/who you want to be with. See, there are many different forms of sexuality, but the most important part of it, I believe, is the emotional...see who you're most emotionally AND sexually attracted to. It could vary from person to person, but rather than judge yourself, try to see it as an experiment and you're the constant, while the other person is the variable. I went through the same thing that you are going through...well not exact same since I'm a girl. However, sexuality is a spectrum...and even though societal values almost demands this of us...you don't have to label yourself. Just love whomever you want to love. Be whoever you want to be, and don't let anyone, including yourself, hinder your own happiness just because of cultural, familial, etc. ideals. Does that help a bit?

Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. happen. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.

 

[ThomasNLD]

Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. happen. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.

If your beart can feel warmth in that direction, don't let your head judge it to harshly.
Like others said, you are who you are and thats ok. It is much more scary to think of these type of things when you generalize it, try looking at it more based on individuals. When you meet someone you fall in love with, those fears will always be outweighed by the attraction and ,love towards that special someone.

Anxiety loses strength when desire grows. In tbe sense it will be easier to overcome. So worries now will look somewhat silly when you wil, actually meet that special someone, your position will be different. Try not to let it bother you so much in tbe meantime, although that is easier said then done.

 

[GameLaxer]

If your beart can feel warmth in that direction, don't let your head judge it to harshly.
Like others said, you are who you are and thats ok. It is much more scary to think of these type of things when you generalize it, try looking at it more based on individuals. When you meet someone you fall in love with, those fears will always be outweighed by the attraction and ,love towards that special someone.

Anxiety loses strength when desire grows. In tbe sense it will be easier to overcome. So worries now will look somewhat silly when you wil, actually meet that special someone, your position will be different. Try not to let it bother you so much in tbe meantime, although that is easier said then done.

Couldn't have said it better myself

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, what do you consider the PRIMARY lesbian sex act?

 

[Hana-Nezumi]

Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. happen. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.

Why don't you want to be bi or gay? There's nothing wrong with it. Is it because some people don't understand and will judge you for it? I know that can be difficult but you can't let your worries about how other people see you stop you from being yourself.

There are some pros too... like not having to worry about unplanned pregnancies!

 

[Liquid Ocelot]

Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. happen. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.

You're probably just curious- and it's fine. Sometimes we'd rather enjoy things sexually than romantically. I mean, I watch all kinds of porn tmi and enjoy plenty of things on a sexual level that I wouldn't want to immediately bring into my life and make a part of my identity. It just gets you- uh. Turned on. Doesn't mean you have to act on it, or that you have to suddenly change how you identify, or anything.

You're going to be okay, bub.

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

Why don't you want to be bi or gay? There's nothing wrong with it. Is it because some people don't understand and will judge you for it? I know that can be difficult but you can't let your worries about how other people see you stop you from being yourself.

There are some pros too... like not having to worry about unplanned pregnancies!

Assuming you and the person you're with are a same-sex couple, that is. Same-gender, opposite-sex couples are still gay/bi/pan (in other words - not straight), but unplanned pregnancies can happen in certain circumstances.

 

[GameLaxer]

Question:

What is considered the primary lesbian sex act? I've been with another woman before, but she was my first. I was just wondering what is considered...idk...penetration (without a sex toy)? I mean, there's fingering, oral sex...scissoring? (idk I've never tried that)...and idk what else really...online informational videos *wink wink* don't really depict natural sexual encounters, obviously, so I was just wondering if I could get some advice as a newly sexually active lesbian. heh ^_^''' by the way...I'm really embarrassed and nervous asking this question, so if you could be gentle in your responses, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

Question:

What is considered the primary lesbian sex act? I've been with another woman before, but she was my first. I was just wondering what is considered...idk...penetration (without a sex toy)? I mean, there's fingering, oral sex...scissoring? (idk I've never tried that)...and idk what else really...online informational videos *wink wink* don't really depict natural sexual encounters, obviously, so I was just wondering if I could get some advice as a newly sexually active lesbian. heh ^_^''' by the way...I'm really embarrassed and nervous asking this question, so if you could be gentle in your responses, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Short answer: There's no such thing as a "primary" way of having sex, lesbian or not.

Long answer: Anything that leaves you and your partner feeling sexually satisfied when you're finished is "sex" - and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (there are many ignorant people out there who insist that it's not sex unless it's penis-in-oriface [yet somehow the mouth doesn't count, to them ])

Also, don't confuse "orgasm" with "sexually satisfied" - I thought I'd point this out, because even though I personally am a virgin, if I were to have sex, I would use a "strap on" as a sort of prosthetic (female-bodied trans man, here.. so alas, I have no penis lol), which would prevent me from orgasming because I wouldn't have any physical stimulation.. However, I, personally, would feel satisfied.

So really, it all depends on you and the person you're with.

 

[GameLaxer]

Short answer: There's no such thing as a "primary" way of having sex, lesbian or not.

Long answer: Anything that leaves you and your partner feeling sexually satisfied when you're finished is "sex" - and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (there are many ignorant people out there who insist that it's not sex unless it's penis-in-oriface [yet somehow the mouth doesn't count, to them ])

Also, don't confuse "orgasm" with "sexually satisfied" - I thought I'd point this out, because even though I personally am a virgin, if I were to have sex, I would use a "strap on" as a sort of prosthetic (female-bodied trans man, here.. so alas, I have no penis lol), which would prevent me from orgasming because I wouldn't have any physical stimulation.. However, I, personally, would feel satisfied.

So really, it all depends on you and the person you're with.

Ah, okay. Thank you very much for your in-depth answer. I really appreciate it.

 

[matt]

WOOHOO SEX

 

[GameLaxer]

WOOHOO SEX

Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.

 

[matt]

Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.

Actually I'm showing people it isn't an embarrassing topic

 

[GameLaxer]

Actually I'm showing people it isn't an embarrassing topic

Ok. My apologies, then.

 

[Mayorofarcadia]

Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.

I'm sorry but I giggled

 

[ThomasNLD]

I`m kinda curious if people here received any kind of sexual education. I never had that and it feels like a big miss. The subject is hard to talk about for me and its difficult to find a place other then the internet to find answers. Ofcourse when I needed the information most, internet wasn`t as good of a source as it is now. Not to mention it is not easy to actually find a really reliable source.

I dunno, the "woohoo" remark might have been meant for me. It is an important subject for me, especially intimacy wise, but at the same time I am not able to share needs or fantasies with people. Not even doctors who help me become more open in these matters. Ofcourse a larger problem then just lack of sexual education lies beneath my problems, but it definetly plays a role when there is very little of any type of intimacy in your family.

 

[Tessie]

^ I had sex ed. in high school. They just spoke about always using condoms and being safe. We had a little office in my high school where you could go get free condoms and dental dams, I remember a lot of students taking advantage of that.

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

I`m kinda curious if people here received any kind of sexual education. I never had that and it feels like a big miss. The subject is hard to talk about for me and its difficult to find a place other then the internet to find answers. Ofcourse when I needed the information most, internet wasn`t as good of a source as it is now. Not to mention it is not easy to actually find a really reliable source.

I dunno, the "woohoo" remark might have been meant for me. It is an important subject for me, especially intimacy wise, but at the same time I am not able to share needs or fantasies with people. Not even doctors who help me become more open in these matters. Ofcourse a larger problem then just lack of sexual education lies beneath my problems, but it definetly plays a role when there is very little of any type of intimacy in your family.

I was homeschooled so I didn't get "Sex Ed", and my Mom never brought up the subject until I already pretty much had it figured out (thanks, internet), but even then, she didn't really try and "educate" me... All I really got from her was "anal nd oral r bad nd u shudnt do them k? k.", and that was it. lol

To be honest, I'm pretty.. "prudish" - I guess you could say - about the topic when it's face-to-face. But I don't seem to have much problem discussing it over the internet, oddly enough. (but only with strangers. if it's someone I know I'm still like "can we please change the subject? Thanks >_>")