Women and Men: Ever experienced sexual harrasment in public?

[oreo]

I've had my share of horrible experiences. Whether it would be the wolf-whistles, catcalls, stalking and groping, blocking off your pathway, or assaults... This could be at work, on the bus, or perhaps in the mall. What did you do? How did it make you feel?

My younger cousin who was only 13 at the time was out walking her dog in the neighborhood. It was early evening and she wasn't wearing anything revealing. A guy who seem like in his early forties kept honking at her from his car and shouting out "What is your name, sweetie? Give me that beautiful smile. Where are you heading to? I can drive you if ya like." He then proceeded to comment on her body as she kept ignoring him. It's sad for me to hear that even kids as young as eight can be targeted.

What are your thoughts on this subject?​

 

[Mariah]

No, never. Maybe it's due to the fact my appearance is repulsive.

 

[kikiiii]

this thread is very important

i remember when i was about 8 or 9 i was walking home with a friend of mine and this man looking to be in his late 40's kept trying to talk to me and repeatedly told me how i looked like his niece and all this other talk. he even followed us for a while. it made me extremely uncomfortable, as he was trying his hardest to make contact w/me in any way. he also tried to touch my arm and shake my hand and stuff. because of this, for the majority of my elementary years i was terrified of walking alone, even in my own neighborhood. i also got paranoid when the doorbell rang. it made me aware at such a young age that there are malicious people out there. unfortunate, really

 

[doveling]

i think.
once i was like 10 or 11 and walked to the shops to get an icecream, and these pretty big guys were like wolf whistling and i felt pretty violated, seeing i was like 1000 years younger.

also when i went to go have KFC one time, this old man were staring at my rather great legs.

 

[ShinyYoshi]

I've been asked several times to send nude pictures to guys. That never goes well for them.

One time, I was at a concert with my friend and we were in the middle of a big crowd. Some guys were close by to us and wouldn't leave us alone. They kept asking for our phone numbers and if we would meet up with them after the show. After turning them down they left. But when walking out of the venue, they stalked us and kept saying they could take us back to their place for the night and you know... Partake in graphic activities. We couldn't even get to our car because they kept harassing us.
We ended up going back to the venue and got a guard to help us to our car.

They were the worst I've met at a concert, but I've met lots of guys like that at concerts.

Edit: I was about 18/19, and I think the guys were like early 20s

 

[leeaboo]

I did when I was 18! I was in a bookstore and a guy a few years older than me kept following me around / trying to get my attention and it was extremely creepy because he would not leave me alone.

 

[EmmaFrost]

I have mild anxiety anytime I need to take the subway (which is every ****ing day when I work) because of the times I've been sexually harassed. The worst was a gross man putting his hand on my upper thigh. The train was so packed (rush hour) that I couldn't move without almost knocking people over but I did anyway.

 

[P.K.]

When I was around eight years old, I was visiting my grandpa at the hospital and like the curious child I am, decided to go wander around for a bit and while I was just walking down the stairs, some dude suddenly grabbed my hand and smiled creepily at me and I just yanked my hand away and walked away. I was lucky that he didn't pursue me after that.

Another was during my freshman year when I was walking to the mall to meet up with my friends when suddenly some dude honked his horn at me and stuck his head out the window, smiled and said, "Huy, Ate~" (in my language this would normally mean "big sister", however in certain contexts such as this one, it's downright creepy and rude)

The latest was last year when I was walking home with my mom's secretary and then one of my neighbors suddenly catcalled us both and wolf whistling. We tried to ignore him but he just kept following us along the perimeter of his house until he was finally out of earshot. We both told him to shut up (sadly, not loudly)

Mind you, I was not in any revealing clothing when any of this happened.

There were other instances as well were I was touched inappropriately by close members of my family from sudden butt smacks to full out groping and many other things I feel uncomfortable to detail.

 

[matcha]

i've been sexually harassed and assaulted. i was 14 and i was just going to pick up some fast food for my fam when these 30 year old looking guys were smiling and waving at me, and i thought nothing of it. then my mom asks me to stop by the grocery store afterwards and i see the same men, and they yell at me that they have a condom and i should come with them. my mom blamed it on me because i was wearing pj bottoms and that makes men look at me the wrong way and get the wrong impression of me.

the 'assault' i guess you could call it was at school by some guy my friend had a huge crush on and when she left to go to her locker and we were alone waiting he started grabbing and groping me.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

A lot of teachers and creepy family members. Forced to do extra jumping jacks, extra running in gym because I developed early and my male P.E. teacher liked watching me. Always seated in the front of classes so the teachers could look down my shirt, I developed in middle school so it was really difficult for me. I started covering myself up in baggy stuff but it didn't help at all. Worse things have happened but not things I'm at liberty to discuss in a public way like this... It's horrible that things like this happen to people everywhere, I have very close male friends who have been sexually harassed as well.

 

[Katattacc]

It's happened to me so many times I can't even keep track. Daily even. It's not like I am a super model or anything, just a woman. I think it is really disgusting, I mean there isn't anything wrong with a compliment but a lot of men take it much too far.

 

[Saylor]

When I was in eighth grade, there was this boy in my classes who asked me out a couple of times, and after I'd already told him no he continued to ask me almost every time I saw him. I always said no but he acted like we were together anyway and once when I was walking down the hall, he came up and put his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek, and then later that day during class he sat down next to me and put his hand inbetween my legs. After that happened I finally asked my teachers if I could keep my distance from him and from then on we were always made sure to be seperated, so that was good but I didn't really enjoy seeing him around school for the rest of that year.

 

[Bowie]

I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.

 

[chronic]

2 sexy

 

[f11]

I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.

this isn't my problems are worse than yours. Everything needs to be taken seriously and solved so stop trying to compare like this is a contest.

 

[Jake]

once i was out with my friend coming home around midnight and there was this random in the street who catcalled us, that's the worse that's happened to me

i feel really bad for others who go through worse like fdklfjklgsagdf

 

[Ichigo.]

I've had my butt grabbed a couple times by a male friend back in high school. It was completely unnecessary/uncalled for. I was also recently told about a guy who stalked me?? I knew nothing about it until one of my friends from high school told me. Back then, I did get some creeper vibes off of him. Example: he knew which middle school I went to even though it was in a different city. He said he saw my picture in a yearbook his cousin had, so I didn't think too much of it. Then I find out he'd walk by my house sometimes and knew which car I drove and would tell our mutual friend about it. My mutual friend, of course, told him he was being a creep and that he should stop. That was a while ago though, so I hope he's stopped. I've never actually seen around my place, so I'll take that as a good sign.

 

[Yuni]

I think people who are timid/shy/least likely to report are most likely to be targeted to be... sexually harassed or assaulted.

The first time it happened to me was in high school when I was 15. I'm allergic to aerosols / deodorants so I always access my locker half an hour earlier (before school) or later (after school) as it's when the area is packed and I couldn't risk having a coughing fit. My locker was next to a wall and on the top, which required me to stand on the tip of my toes in order to put my books in my bag. With the wall on one side, the locker door on the otherside obscuring my vision and having to concentrate to remove my books, I didn't notice two guys approaching me.

And ... stuff happened.
No one needs to know.

I was a bookworm, so I didn't know many names but I did remember their faces. I guess, I wasn't scared (I had extremely low self esteem. I felt no self worth, so what they did just made me feel defiled on top of being invisible). I did report it to authority, but considering we were all underage, they were let off with a warning.

School started having some programs and stuff and that managed to distract me for a while. I eventually forgot about it for 8 or so years.

Ocassionally (within those years), people have groped me in public. I'm really sensitive (because I hate having physical contact) and am a bit paranoid so I tend to let the first time go. I just feel really confused. I'm pretty sure they did but I'd rather be under the illusion that they hadn't.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere before, but someone had told me that they wouldn't be surprised if I were raped because I'm fragile and physically slow. This was the trigger that dragged out memories from so many years ago.

I have someone who I can rely on now so I guess I'm a lot better at taking care of myself now. It makes it easier for me to talk about these things now that I know someone accepts me. I really enjoy the company of friends :3

Hmmm... I guess, technically I should be hating all Vietnamese Buddhist males by the type that I've had these bad encounters with. As a group, I do. I really do. I have no faith in religion at all and believe that people are responsible for their actions.

I would like to meet people with kindness in their hearts. Rather than having people introduce themselves as name, race, religion, things they're good at, charitable things they've done... that doesn't mean anything to me. It's not something I can trust.

People have the ability to do good.
I really would like to believe that and it usually gives an impression on others of how naieve I am. In my peaceful state of mind, perhaps it's true. But it's more like a band-aid solution.

Sorry about it being really long ^^;

 

[Jake]

I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.

umm in order for sexual harassment to be stopped/lessened all of it needs to be taken seriously. just because something is "less serious" doesn't make it any less important. And how is anything going to be "overshadowed" if someone called the police for staring at them?? last time I checked the police can only take action once certain boundaries have been crossed, and pretty sure "staring at someone" isn't going to make them take any action. Of course, if it's an on going problem then yes, but the one off, they're more than likely going to ignore it - it's not like they're going to take priority over someone who stared at someone than someone who raped someone...


that's just like saying some guy fingered you without your consent and your friend saying "oh that's not real rape nvm" like wtf???

 

[ThomasNLD]

This kind of stuff really confuses me.
Not the stuff Bowie refered to, since every normal person would feel stuff like rape/stalking/etc are completely out of line.

What does confuse me, is random men or women giving semi-offensive compliments to people they never met, or for example following them for a short while or secretly taking pictures and stuff. Its like society has changed to where people should just accept this type of behaviour as if its normal, while its not.

Yelling to some random lady in the street she has a nice ass is not a compliment. Some women may enjoy that kind of stuff, but a lot will feel like their privacy just got invaded. Rightfully so. Its a sad thing that people who do such things have no clue of the consequences or deeper meaning of why what they are doing is wrong.

Even as a guy I experienced certain examples of such behaviour. I`m not terribly sensitive to it so I can handle it, but it still baffles me. Eye opener for me was this video of a lady walking through some big city for 10 minutes. The proven theory that you can`t go anywhere, regardless if you dress sexy or not, didn`t surprise me, I go outside after all and witnessed it myself. What did suprise me were the reactions to the video. There were much more people defending the catcalling, vulgarly complimenting people then there were people condemning it.

I dunno. I realise that as someone with avoidant personality disorder I`m more sensitive to such subjects occuring in todays society, but it bothers me.