What's Bothering You?

Heard the song of time in the Level Up 1M sub video. It’s been repeating itself in my head all day. It won’t stop bugging me. Ugh.
 
Today was a pretty good day but all day, I felt like my mood was going downhill. Now I feel so stressed out and crabby even though I have no reason to be; I don’t feel like myself. I’m hoping that I feel better tomorrow 🤞. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to either.
 
Last night: I FINALLY saw a scorpion. First one in 2025! Unfortunately, it went behind a cliff. I couldn’t see it, so I got stung. Whoops.

Even now, it still (pardon the pun) ‘stings’.
 
There’s some stuff on my mind that is bothering me. I really hate my anxiety right now since I’m feeling self conscious about something but I know I shouldn’t care or let it bother me as much as it is. Also had woke up to a dream that kinda had my ex in it. I already forgot the dream but didn’t make me feel great. I kinda feel sad, frustrated and upset right now too about a mixture of things. I probably should take some time to myself, but I don’t think that will help much.

No comments or replies or dms including on discord please.
 
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Ranting about Nintendo again. Not only has it been weeks since they last a new game on NSO (and seven months since they last added a N64 game that matters to NSO), but they haven’t even added a new game to Nintendo Music this week, and they chose a compilation playlist instead. They are becoming unreliable on the retro libraries, yet they are very Nazi-ish when it comes to DMCA abuses.
 
Kinda frustrated that part of me still wants to play Splatoon 3 even though I am well aware that it frustrates me to no end. It can be a very fun game at times, but something about the matchmaking and ranking algorithms is completely borked, so it's super easy to get stuck in back-and-forth winning/losing streaks where I don't even really feel like I have any measurable impact on the game yet am rewarded/punished for the result anyway. Being stuck in a losing streak is so immensely frustrating because, sure, I'm the only constant in your games and so I shouldn't just blame my team all the time, and I definitely am far from the best, but then I'll have multiple matches in a row where I really could not have done much better but lost anyways because my team was at best unhelpful and at worst throwing.

I wanted to try to eventually hit S+10 so that I could have access to X rank at the start of seasons rather than having to earn it again because of the mandatory derank, but after hitting two separate, long losing streaks that put me like 400 points in debt, I really don't feel like trying. In Splatoon 2 I hit X rank in every single mode (ranks worked different in 2, and X was the top rank rather than a side mode thing), so I don't think I'm incompetent at the game, but so many factors in 3 make it too frustrating to grind ranks.
 
I wish I wasn't such a germaphobe.

Like, after I wash my hands, I can see and tell that they're clean, but I just have this strange feeling that they're not 100% clean and then I overthink about it and then I end up washing my hands multiple times in a row or constantly washing or sanitizing my hands after doing the most inconsequential things.
 
I'm freezing and in pain and starting to feel super tired today..
Also the videos going around claiming some vlad tech corporation making break throughs with implants
and tracking spirits/souls/consciousness/memories of dying people through their atoms with code as fact is very ****ty and oppressive to the suffering and working class as it is an attempt at psychologically attacking people.

(Scenario: rich and powerful tracking, containing, and transferring your spirit, could be done without your consent for whatever reason they want.. because they can. The message is death isn't even an escape. The message elevates the rich and powerful to god status rulling populations of people even harder. And to give them more power anyway because they can do x.)

Anyway, supposedly vlad tech tracked the souls/spirits/consciousness/memories to some place in space called Jade's GSZ140 or some ****. The videos seem very recent and are spreading. I don't like it. I really wish it was a talking point instead. Maybe it is in an artistic way, but I don't know how many people would "get it". The ones who could "get it" may take it the way I did.. as it's probably propaganda instead of something to talk about when it comes to technology, rights over your person, surveillance, social status, weaponization of technology and science, individuality, and being an citizen in a nation.
 
Last Friday, I went to see my Primary care Doctor. It was 2 PM when I arrived. The whole thing took nearly 2 hours, and they didn't do blood work even though they made me do a Urine sample and checked my A1C. They made me go to a different place to do bloodwork. Then by the time I got to the other place these nurses were telling me how they were closing even though I got then by 4:00 PM and it cearly said it was going to be closed by 4:30 PM. I had a mental breakdown since I haven't eaten all day, since I've been fasting. So I went to this company by the name Any Lab Test Now, and there was a big caveat that they charged me $129.00 just to do simple blood work, and they would not take my health insurance. I had no anger left in me, so I used the Credit Card just to pay for this. By the time I was done, I binged ate McDonald's up until I got sick and threw up. I mean, that is how bad this whole thing went.
 
Sorry I haven't really been active here lately. This is mainly due to me being really busy with work and family problems, not to mention my mental health hasn't been doing so well. I also recently signed myself up for therapy and I can't wait for my first therapy appointment (I regret not getting therapy sooner). Hopefully, things will get better soon.
 
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