What's Bothering You?

[oddbear]

i love having a runny nose and an upset stomach for no reason. it’s like i have to decide whether or not i’m sick or if my body’s just doing this because it’s fun.

also, i hate being a night owl in a society where it’s not acceptable to stay up too late because you have to wake up in the morning. i wish i could just stay up until 3:00 am and wake up at 11:00 am but that’s seen as “irresponsible“. night time is when i’m the most calm, so why can‘t people just wake up at different times??

 

[-Raven-]

I’m just too sensitive and it‘s self-sabotaging but I don’t know how to have a healthy level of selfishness anymore. The “putting myself first without being a jerk/bitter” type.

I’ve basically been sacrificing pieces of myself for the last two years because I cared more about other people, and I thought when I was drawing I was getting back to a “healthy selfishness”, but now that a lot of that has fallen apart I’m feeling a kneejerk reaction and I just want to leave so much behind me.

A lot of my self-hate over time came from the illusion I could just keep it under control if it was just me or I just decided it was my fault instead of relying on external factors, and I thought I reached a happy level of sacrifice but I think I wound up as too much of a giver and people kept having unrealistic expectations for me. It was always like that and when I asked for help got ignored, I guess because I got perceived as so tough. It’s not okay. Anyway, it makes me want to hide that part of myself but really I wish I could be giving and see people genuinely get better around me as in more able to fend for themselves and learn self-improvement. I can’t do it anymore, I had it going for a while. I genuinely believe people could work together on it more often but now I feel I’m going to be seriously hurt if I share that part of myself. Not in an egotistical way but I feel like I have a lot to give and it pains me I feel like I get hurt when I do. Like okay maybe I shouldn’t expect anything in return, but I’m not doing it solely for rewards, I just want more understanding of the effort I put into certain things from the people I let in closest.

Last year I thought I was really close to this one friend circle and I think they actually still like me but there’s a lot of pent-up bitterness in that circle that’s come out this year and they do the “how much can I annoy my friend, it’s funny” kind of joke super often and have been using the same memes for the last year and I don’t enjoy being there anymore.

edit: ig what i mean to say is i need more faith in myself but i truly feel lonely outside of some small interactions here at this point which… look man its a basic want. Whole life i feel like ive just had to rely on myself for validation and i do have some ego in me and i keep having to hold it down.

 

[oak]

My dad has another meeting with the head care nurse boss lady Barbara and she scares me lol. I both respect and fear her. She thinks my mom should go into a care home and that we will experience care taker fatigue within a year. She might be right but my dad said we have to try and keep her home & I agree. The boss lady though at the last meeting waited till my mom was out of the room and said to my dad "just 1 accident or incident and I'm over rulling your rights & putting her in a home". We were like damn Barbara, you scary. My dad also tried to blame Trudeau for lack of stroke resources and Barbara told him to be quiet and "that's enough". I can see why they put her in charge.

 

[VernalLapin]

My eye is itchyyyy :^(

 

[kisaker39]

i cannot be the only one who gets embarrassed buying food. yes, this is the food i enjoy eating. im just going to go home, and eat it.

 

[Zane]

i cannot be the only one who gets embarrassed buying food. yes, this is the food i enjoy eating. im just going to go home, and eat it.

there’s a burrito place I go to pretty often and whoever is working almost always kinda soft-makes fun of me for only putting corn on my quesadilla so I always feel sorta awkward getting it

 

[ali.di.magix]

Not too much of a bother, but I have less money than I thought in my account after my pay rise. My rent has gone up by a lot which is eating into it. But it's worth it now that I'm in a better place by far

 

[Xara]

.

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[Kitsuragi]

im not happy in my relationship anymore and it's not 100% my fault but i still feel insanely guilty breaking things off because my boyfriend will literally be homeless if i do so i guess ill just suffer

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

I made a really yummy japanese curry for dinner and my sinuses did not appreciate it one bit. I am so tired of this

 

[VanitasFan26]

These past few months have really have me emotionally burned out. Personal Life issues are getting too serious. When one problem is done another one occurs.

 

[moonbyu]

for some reason, i've been waking up for school feeling nothing but absolute and pure DREAD. i didn't even feel this anxious during my high school years lol.
i'm guessing that it's just because i'm in a new school but it's seriously not cool to deal with.

 

[Bluelady]

Got it off my chest.

 

[Zane]

I sincerely have no desire to exist anymore

 

[-Apples-]

I sincerely have no desire to exist anymore

What happened?

 

[honeyaura]

I need a car badly. Also, may need a side gig to make ends meet.

 

[Zane]

What happened?

not any one thing in particular, it’s just that in a span of about 6 months I’ve lost everything that was most important to me one by one and my life crumbled around me for seemingly no reason. now due to extremely unexpected circumstances I also have to move out of province soon (like 99% it’s gonna happen, barring a complete miracle), which means giving up my job too lol. I’m just totally out of energy to keep pushing through it all

 

[-Apples-]

not any one thing in particular, it’s just that in a span of about 6 months I’ve lost everything that was most important to me one by one and my life crumbled around me for seemingly no reason. now due to extremely unexpected circumstances I also have to move out of province soon (like 99% it’s gonna happen, barring a complete miracle), which means giving up my job too lol. I’m just totally out of energy to keep pushing through it all

I’m sorry that all of that happened.

 

[Yoshi155]

Spoiler

There are some people in my school who I actually think have psyche issues. I remember the reason that we aren't allowed to even have phones in sight is because of what was being airdropped around the school, which includes public execution videos and, uh, inappropriate videos involving children. And the reason middle schoolers can't bring their laptops home is because of something someone watched on their laptop at home, which I also don't want to say. I just think about it and all I can say is, what the actual ****? I think it's a good thing that people can't use their phones during class, but the reason we can't do it makes me question why I still go here.