What's Bothering You?

[-Mars-]

-Snip-

Just to add salt to the wound:
When I was trying to copy my old files to my new computer I was confused why it suddenly stopped copying and assumed it was finished
so apparently my computer was trying to copy over 9GB worth of storage and it can't anymore because I get a warning "You have filled up 5GB out of 5GB of OneDrive storage, please pay to upgrade your storage!" This means that:
1: Even if I hypothetically did not turn off OneDrive and still had my lost files synced I can't even transfer them anyways because the free plan of OneDrive can only hold 5GB of storage worth and that's nothing, I had at least 20GB worth of storage that needed to be transferred
2: OneDrive is actually useless for "protecting my files" in case something happens to them because you need to pay for a $84 yearly subscription service to be able to have enough cloud storage to sync your files.

Apparently I know nothing about computers because I just don't understand, my Switch and 3DS storage data on their Memory Cards and SD cards so the data will be safe as long as you have the Memory/SD cards, why does my computer not have the files on my hard drive? Is it on my memory chip or something? The files have to be physically stored somewhere right? I don't understand what's the point in keeping files on a cloud hosting service, it sounds safer to physically have them on a data-storing device

 

[xSuperMario64x]

just a sad night

 

[Caterpillarsarecute]

Spoiler: Very worried about my friend...

I'm extremely worried about her. Earlier today she messaged me and said she has to go to a mental hospital for a few days. I'm actually so worried about her and I feel so bad because I didn't know she wasn't feeling good.. It makes me feel like a really bad friend, but its also really hard to talk to her since we live in different states, and I cant get a phone, so we can really only talk on email. But it still makes me feel like bad friend.. My mom often asks if I'm messaging her and how she's doing, so if my mom asks I don't think I'm going to mention it...

 

[nightglow]

.

 

[Caterpillarsarecute]

I just slammed my foot really hard onto the side of the door and tripped and dropped my cup.. luckily my cup was empty and didn't break but my foot hurts.

 

[-Raven-]

I don’t have the focus to reply to everyone but it sounds like really sad stuff is happening to some of you recently, I’m so sorry. It really feels like the month has been a mess wherever I look ):

Personally just… today is lethargic and I’m having a bit of trouble focusing on what needs to be done. Nothing terrible for me.

 

[Stella-Io]

Why must a simple statement end up into whole discussion?

All I asked was my mom to find masking tape if she happens to be out at a shop. Which she did but it's contractor grade and regular masking tape already rips paper, which it's not supposed to do but it does anyway. And this isn't like printer paper I'm using it on, it's watercolour paper, cold and hot press so it thicker and has more texture than standard paper.

Then it became this whole thing where they keep telling me 'you have to look for it'. You literally just showed me what I want! It's the purple tape! I'm kind of home stuck and I HAVE been looking for masking tape when I'm out. They keep going out without me so how tf do you expect me to look when you don't take me out?

They showed me this purple tape that says it doesn't rip paper and I asked them to get me it. Yeah it's like 2x more expensive than masking tape (masking is like 3$ this purple tape is 8$+) but if it specifically says it doesn't rip paper, that's what I want, I don't want to rip paper. I'm using it to hang up prints I got and also for when I paint.

I plainly asked them to get it for me TWICE but I highly doubt they did. They make such an issue over somethin so small.

All of this over TAPE.

 

[oak]

There's so many accidents around today, I'm not looking forward to trying to get home in an hour. Traffic was at a dead stop yesterday and ppl wouldn't let me merge so I blew this old man a kiss and he let me in. Just a tip for yall incase yr stuck in bad traffic and not afraid to embarrass yrself

 

[Xara]

.

 

[Seastar]

I typed a very long rant about my allergies and then lost it because my phone was being annoying and replaced it with something else that the forum then saved. Uggghh.
Anyway, I'm tired of suffering because nobody else in this house has the allergies that I do. Maybe I'll retype the full rant another time...

 

[Beanz]

-deleted

 

[Xara]

snip

i hope it’s okay that i reply to this, but i just wanted to say that i understand how you’re feeling. i was supposed to graduate high school in 2020, but i didn’t graduate until this past summer because due to my physical and mental health, it took me a bit longer to earn the credits and volunteer hours i needed. i turn 22 in less than 6 months, and i’m still very dependent on my parents and nowhere near ready to move out as well.

i know how bad it feels to be in a place in your life where you feel like you’re supposed to be doing something else somewhere else, especially when you compare yourself to other people your age, but that doesn’t mean you’re immature or that you’re doing things wrong. we’re all on a different journey in our lives, and not everyone will do things or finish things at the same pace, and that’s perfectly okay— you’re trying your best. you don’t have to be ready to move out or go to college right now just because other people are. it’s okay to go at a different pace.

i know you’ll get to where you want to be one day since you’re capable of amazing things, but there’s nothing wrong with where you’re at right now. you’re trying to get through grade 12 instead of giving up, and that in itself is amazing

 

[Asteroid]

Ugh. My mental health is getting worse. I have no clue as to why.

 

[themysterybidder]

Spoiler: Blossom, my Basset Hound (includes talk of surgery)

So, Blossom is due to go back to the vet next month, she goes every 3 months, just for a weight check so they can determine which dose of tablet to give her. It's nothing serious, it's just to act as a prevention for tapeworm, etc. But, next time we've got to decide if we should get her spayed. We have no intention of breeding her for puppies, but we were against the idea of getting her spayed from day one, as we didn't want to put her through any discomfort or pain. However, the last time the vet said that next month would be the best time as she's had her first heat, and she explained what could happen if she doesn't get spayed and she could end up in emergency surgery. I know, it's a simple operation and the chances of anything going wrong are very slim, but I can't help but worry about her. I'm in my 30s and she's my first pet, so I'm very protective of her, just like any good pet owner would be. I know whatever we choose we will always think what if she had or hadn't got it done? I hate to think of her being in surgery and then her recovery. I'm tearing up even writing this, as she's sitting at my feet looking up at me. Then, she makes me smile, by trying to eat my laptop wire.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

just as a gentle reminder, there is no "correct" or "proper" way to progress through your life. the fact that we're here at all, living and breathing as we do, is a miracle in itself. trust me, whatever you guys are doing with your lives right now, whatever you're able to do, is perfectly fine. you're on your way to better things, you'll get to where you need to be soon enough. just go at your own pace, follow your own intuition, have some faith in yourself and your future, and everything will be okay




there is something that's bothering me. I'm fairly positive that I have plenty of financial security for this trip, and yet I can't help but think I don't. I've always been so worried about finances, given that I grew up with a parent who was (and still is) incredibly controlling of our money and has absolutely no money management skills whatsoever. I've been having to buy a few things here and there over the last week, and I'm just so scared that I'm not gonna have enough money (even though, like I said, I'm thinking I'll have plenty, if not some extra too).
also wish I didn't have to wait another week and a half, I'm so tired of being in this house. I'm ready to take some time for myself for a little while. it's only ten more days...

also also I keep having major anxiety whenever I think about my student debt. I lowkey regret even going to college, it was a really, really stupid idea to put myself in over 20 grand of debt knowing that I'm disabled and can't even work full time. I kinda feel like an idiot honestly. it's even worse bc my dad was the one who convinced me to do it, and ofc I was a misguided teen so I said okay, why the hell not. now I'm trying to decide how the hell I'm gonna make those monthly payments and be able to live comfortably away from my parents. just trying to live on my own without that debt is gonna be hard because of the situation regarding my ability to work, and then pile a $180+ monthly bill on top of that which will only graduate more and more over ten years. I feel so stupid.
it's situations like this where I have to try incredibly hard to not hate myself; don't get me wrong, I love who I am and I wouldn't change it for anything, but I can't help but feel like I would be much less of a burden if I wasn't disabled, and could actually work normal hours like a normal person, and have a decent income. really trying to follow my own words here, I know that everything will be okay eventually. it's just making me feel so scared, honestly.

 

[-Raven-]

okay I said yesterday wasn’t that bad but today has just been a nightmare, the “I’m sick of the same garbage, why me” variety.

also really bothers me I’m not having dreams in my sleep anymore

 

[daringred_]

looking through job listings makes me feel so useless because i'm not physically/mentally in a place where i could work full time, but even most part-time jobs are 20+ hours or have >15 hour weeks but stupidly long shifts, and the few that i wouldn't mind doing either end up having incompatible schedules or need you to be able to make phone calls or have some qualification i don't and it's like. ugh.

also super annoyed with my doctor's office. went for an appointment recently and found out that to be prescribed adhd medication (which my doctor agrees could help me) you have to see a specialist first, but not only is the wait-list 6-9 months minimum, i currently have to wait to even get on the wait-list because the surgery's go-to team isn't taking referrals. salt in the wound is that i filled in autism/adhd questionnaires back in march, and the receptionist never passed them along to my doctor, so i literally could've already been on the wait-list months ago but now have to wait even longer. that's a ludicrously long time just to receive medication. doctor also said if this anti-depressant has no effect (which i don't think it will) then we'll have to look into alternate treatments. doesn't sound fun, especially if it's what i suspect...

 

[Stella-Io]

Idk why my parents act like taking me to the grocery store so I can buy my own food is such a hassle.

Mom came in my room earlier asking 'I'm going to *grocery store* do you wanna come?' But with a tone, like , annoyed. As if it's such a bother taking me along when you're already going. Um yeah I would like to go shopping for my own food and drinks so you don't get mad at me when I order out food. Either way they get mad at me. How dare I make sure I have drinks and food to eat for breakfast and lunch. I can't drive myself (legally, my car has no insurance) and they won't let me insure the car, so don't get mad when I ask you to TAKE ME ALONG when you're already going. Same damn situation with the ATM. My bank is literally next to the grocery store we go to and the ATM is outside, but they act like me going there when we're already going grocery shopping is so horrible.

I take less time than they do to go shopping for my stuff, I pay for my own stuff, I don't see what their problem is. It's not like they're making a special trip for me, they were already going to the store, just take me along.

There was one time I told them I needed to go grocery shopping for food and drinks and they went to the store 3 times until they finally brought me along. Then they wanna get mad when I order food out. Most of the time I offer them some anyway and half of that time one of them eats some, so they're also benefitting from me ordering out. Btw, they don't pay for what they eat that I ordered. Not like I'm gonna ask them to pay for like two slices of pizza and a bread stick, but maybe don't have a tone in your voice when I do get food.

Today when I went shopping my mom didn't even wait for me near the entrance to tell me to shop by myself. Sometimes she wants me to shop with her, and when she doesn't she tells me. She went off by herself while I was gettin a cart, couldn't even be bothered to say 'okay go do your thing I'll go do mine'. Just zoomed off like I'm such a bother.

 

[Zane]

I tore my fingernail at work and it hurts. Also I don’t know what it is but it seems like other drivers on the road have gotten roughly 500 times stupider lately. It’s like every time I get on the road at least one person tries to cause a collision with me by doing some dumb (and usually illegal) ****. It’s gotten pretty rare that I don’t finish my commute full of rage and anxiety

 

[oddbear]

i’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately…
i’m going to spoiler them because some of them are graphic

Spoiler: nightmares

a while ago, i had a dream that there was a new animal crossing game where you went to a swimming pool, but it was extremely creepy for some reason? when i went to change in the game, there was a man with bees in his bloody mouth that were eating his teeth out. idk where this was in the game, but there was also a very disfigured tom nook.

i had two dreams more recently about my cat, felicity. in the first one, i brought felicity to my sibling’s school and she ran away and got lost forever.
in the other one… i was EATING felicity?? not ever cooking her, just… eating her. it was absolutely terrible, and i was petting her so much when i woke up.

i had a dream where i was being stalked by my neighbor a few days ago, and, in the dream, it got to the point where i was terrified to go in my room because i knew that, if he saw me, he was going to go up to my window and harass me.

thankfully i’m seeing my therapist tomorrow, so i’ll talk to her about it. i really don’t want to have any more nightmares…

also, my dad won’t stop telling my sibling to not be themself at school, and i’m sick of it. he told them the other day that “if you wear t-shirts and shorts like everyone else, maybe you’ll have more friends.” (i don’t know what exactly was said, i wasn’t in the room - this is just what i heard from them)
my sibling wears clothes that are a little more eccentric than you’d normally see at school, and i love that they feel confident and are able to express themselves like that. i wish he would stop destroying their self esteem.