What's Bothering You?

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Spoiler

I miss my mom. This time it's the memory of her in the hospital bed that's going through my head. As if I don't already have enough **** to deal with in my life at the moment.

 

[Chris]

Splitting headache and I can't position the blinds in my office quite right to block out the sun. Still in pain and probably shouldn't have even come in but bills, mortgage, groceries. At least I can stand without strangers trying to offer assistance today. Ugh. I need a weekend. But I also need to do housework at the weekend.

Preferably, I'd like to be able to put the world on pause for a week (or month) while I catch up on feeling human and can spare spoons for anything that isn't toxic workplace nonsense.

Edit: big boss just showed up to see if I'm okay and to ask about how things in the department are looking. He's thankfully happy with my performance but he wants me to pass some of what I told him onto my line manager for him to address with my colleagues. Fun never stops.

 

[Zerous]

Family health emergency, left early to go to the hospital,
I also have to catch up on the work I didn’t do tonight.
Also something happened that resulted in property damage to my mums house today, so also worrying about that.
I just hope people can be okay

 

[xSuperMario64x]

getting to be that time of year again where, if my hands are exposed to sunlight/UV, they break out in itchy and painful patches of psoriasis. I guess I need to invest in a small bottle of sunscreen now before I forget. I hate that I have to deal with this every single year

 

[sleepey]

grinds my gears that some disabled people are still so ableist themselves. why have a superiority complex about what capitalist nonsense you’re able to keep up with at the expense of your own health?

personally, i’ve perpetually tormented myself with why i can’t just will myself to be the version of myself that sacrifices my wellbeing to like, idk, start a doctoral program before i turn 30 or something. but i seriously don’t have the ability to do that at the moment without putting myself in danger.

to feel that constantly and then to be talked down to or dismissed by other disabled people who currently keep up with some type of “career” or illusion of functionality is so infuriating. like, don’t you know you can end up where i am with one wrong move?

 

[Seastar]

I'm really hoping I didn't get sick...

 

[chocovelvetcake]

Spoiler: political talk

I'm not gonna lie, I always feel pressured to "choose a side" when it comes to politics because I don't wanna get attacked or "cancelled" by the left or the right. If I'm neutral or apolitical, then some people would see me as a bad person just because I didn't pick a ****ing side. It's one thing to disagree with someone's political views, but it's another thing to attack or wish death on anybody who you politically disagree with. And yes, that includes Trump supporters. **** like this is why I don't really like picking sides when it comes to politics. I'm just so ****ing grateful that my parents don't judge me for my political views.

 

[Seastar]

Spoiler: Weather and politics part 3

This really shouldn't be something that keeps coming up for me, but here we are. Friday night and seemingly all of Saturday show I am at risk of possible tornadoes. That's horrifying? I am also hearing at least 30 states are going to be hit with severe thunderstorms.
But at the same time, I am reading something about funding cuts to the NOAA. Excuse me? You really just want to put everyone in danger like that? Hello?! This just has to happen when climate change is getting much worse...

 

[Dim]

The Bloodmoon will be visible March 13th-14th and I'm seeing freaking clouds in the forecast
View attachment 613383

Yuuuuup about 20 minutes before it's peak, a freaking cloud invasion came and ruined it. Glad we got to see part of it's totality but just once I want to see a total eclipse at it's peak. :[

I hate clouds now.

 

[Chris]

Headache persists and painkillers left me so nauseous last night I couldn't even enjoy being at home.

Can't face today but no choice not to - there is no one to cover me. So glad it's Friday. Just need to get through one more day.

Edit: wish I'd stay home. Have a technical issue isolated to my office that has left me without access to the phone or internet. I get a huge influx of reqs on a Friday (colleagues deadline) and the IT technician isn't back in until Tuesday.

 

[jiny]

Spoiler: rambling

i honestly don’t know if im overreacting, but i just cut off one of my closest friends because she’s associated with my ex (who emotionally abused me for over a year before i finally got the courage to leave).. her other close friend also hates me? for some reason (reason being that i “stole” her away from my friend), and that friend decided to start dating my ex lol!!!!! i just felt so uncomfortable with everything. my friend has been weird for a while anyways, but the whole thing with my ex bothered me from the beginning i just never said anything bc i thought my feelings would go away. today my friend decided to post her friend and my ex together, while he’s holding flowers for her (something he NEVER gave me lmao). i honestly just felt like she posted that cause she wanted me to see it? she knew i could see it. she knows how badly my ex treated me. i started shaking so bad when i saw that post. i called her out, i sent her a message saying i couldn’t be friends with someone associated with my ex anymore, and blocked her on everything. i forgot that my macbook doesn’t block people, i have to do it on there manually. she responded and from there we started arguing about it, she basically invalidates my feelings. she tells me that i shouldn’t stop being her friend because of that, since she’s not the one dating him and she can’t control who her friend dates. but it just feels so absolutely weird for her friend, the one who hates me, to get with my ex? and she knows that’s my ex? and why didn’t my friend warn her friend how horribly he treated me??? idk how i always end up with these horrible people as “friends” im honestly so over everything right now, i have trust issues for life i feel like i have no real friends at all

 

[Midoriya]

Minor bother, but this Quaquaval raid in Pokemon Scarlet/Violet is so annoying, lol. Like I don't think I even had this much trouble with the Mewtwo Mightiest Mark raid from awhile ago. I've attempted this **** over a dozen times now. Kept getting paired with bad teams, and the few times I was paired with a good team, something happened to make us lose. Like in one of the raids we were about to win, but the game decided to give Quaquaval a critical hit at probably the worst possible time.

 

[-Raven-]

I guess no matter how I say this it’s going to seem like begging for attention which bothers me in itself. I’m not trying to. This is something I’ve alluded to before and I’ve never really been able to examine myself on it or write it down properly. The last week has made me think a lot about what I’ve done on this website and I wish a lot of it had been different and I was truly able to grow close to people. It’s very strange to be here and never really have fostered talking with people here much outside of random brief chats on the forum. I can’t force being close to anyone and I can’t force myself to put in energy but in most places I feel like I don’t know anyone. I’ve had some luck with some people reaching me more on Discord and I truly thank for that regardless of my own shut-in nature. Nobody did anything wrong to me. I just feel a lack of many close friendships in my life. I hate that I was never good at this. That’s what being isolated for a decade and a half does I guess. And I hate that I have so many viable scapegoats for my victim mentality because it’s not helping me.

 

[AccfSally]

Spoiler: Rambling

I hate these fake indie book publishers/marketing accounts. They're all over the place just trying to get a quick buck off of people. I know it's not a new thing, but I still hate it.

Some guy in his basement playing with ChatGPT and thinks that just because they got these tools (that are clearly being abused), They think they're part of the industry now. This is just hurting the actual companies even more.

There's this person on another site I hang on. I'm very suspicious of them after they were clearly dodging my questions (not only that, but their account is private.You can't search for them) and then blocked me.

 

[SkyKnight03]

I wish I could just close all of these loud heart disease ads that play when my mother is watching TV.

I find them to be so unsettling and anxiety inducing.

 

[sleepey]

i really dislike feeling like i am irrational. maybe that’s self-imposed, but, at the end of the day, i just don’t get putting up the front of neutrality or composedness for the façade of “maturity” in any given situation. not anymore, at least. even when i try, i always seem to break

 

[Yoshi155]

**** my life. I’m fine and I’ll probably delete this later but I’m just mad about something that happened earlier.

 

[-Raven-]

I don’t think I can do it with drawing. Honestly the lack of anywhere I want to post it (yes that includes here) has a lot to do with it. But simply put the process of trying to improve is not fun anymore. Really sucks because if I actually make something that looks good to me it feels good but I start to autopilot, I start to get worse, I can’t draw the things I want that others aren’t drawing or that I can’t necessarily commission / afford. Then drawing isn’t fun anymore.

Also, spelling necessary is very annoying. I always need help on that one word.

And I absolutely hate pitbulls, speaking with a friend who has a similar dog yesterday, the whole topic bought back a lot of panicky feelings and trauma… I’m not scared of a lot of things when it comes to physical danger but they are absolutely one and I felt a kind of fear I haven’t in years just from the topic being discussed for a little while. It kept me up more. I normally don’t care because this is an open forum and I post with the mentality that people could respond to anything I put up even in this thread but no opinions on that in response please, that’s how much it upsets me and how set I am on my opinions of it.

 

[Dunquixote]

I’m feeling uncomfortable. Also a bit freaked out since a bug just landed on me. My mood is stable and I think might be improving a tiny bit, but still am depressed. I’m trying to focus on positive and fun things and be optimistic about some stuff, but it is really hard. My air conditioner is making a really high pitched annoying sound; everyone is sleeping so I have to just deal with it. It’s probably something to do with either being cold outside or the wind.

 

[azurill]

Not feeling all that great today. Also tired and sore. Worried about something and it won’t be until the end of next week before we find out the results.