The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I have a list of my favorite names for the baby if it’s a girl. Which do you like? Jennifer, Endive, or Treblinka?”
“You yokel! You can’t name a baby after a concentration camp!”
“Really? I thought it was the name of one of those cute little fairies from Cinderella.”
“What kind of idiot thinks about naming a baby after a Nazi death camp?!”
“I HOPE MY WATER BREAKS ALL OVER YOUR FUR COATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"And now we'll have a greeting from the new students representative."

[Asmodeus gets up from his seat in the audience and walks up to the stage.]

"The representative of the new students, Asmodeus."

"What a hottie!"

"So that's what he looks like!"

Oh, curse me, please!"

"Yeah, he's alright."

"Uh, what?"

"He's a perfect distraction."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I wish that I could find a man that half liked me….”
“Can the other half be made of chocolate?”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Mother wanted me to come out in a kimono, so we had quite a fight.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Nohammer’s Hardware. Yes we have hammers! NO! IT’S JUST MY NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Ha! Ha! You dumb bears can’t get me now! I’m in a cave.”
“He’s right, Boo Boo. We bears are awfully afraid of caves.”
“Why are we so lame, Yogi?”

 

[QueenCobra]

"She's about as Jewish as a bacon sandwich!"

 

[Dubs327]

"Why isn't it called wo-menopause?"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Stuffing your face as usual."

"I gotta have a good meal."

"Garfield, you fat cat. You are so big and fat. Why are you so fat?"

"I eat, Jon. It's what I do."

 

[Ginny Potter]

Villain 1: "Darn that Harry Potter guy. He keeps causing us trouble."
Villian 2: "Shhhh!! Don't you mean he-who-shall-not-be-named?"
Lord Voldemort: "Silence! You never know when he could be watching us!"
a fat guy's silhouette with glasses appears outside the window as lightning strikes

From messaging a friend on Discord.

Ironic how I will steal this... I am like a big Harry Potter fan

 

[tasso]

"I'm the badoingy-doing-doingy-doing-doing-gloing!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So if you’re depressed, just stop feeling sad. The Harry Potter fish told you so.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Can someone tell me what an English garden is? And is there algae in the garden? How about lemons? Four leaf clovers? What is it? I just don't know what meets the brief?”

 

[ShawnFuzz]

"I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I know how much you like catching snowflakes on your tongue so I made you snowflake soup!”
“You basically made me a bowl of hot water?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What’s this? It’s just a bowl with a bunch of leafy greens.”
“It’s called a salad, you cow.”
“Is that what it is? My doctor says that I should eat- WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”
“Nothing.”
“Oh good. Cause you’re no model yourself!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

"If there's so much as one little feather harmed on the canary, it's off to the violin string factory! Remember *imitates playing the death march on a violin*”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Let’s play Nine Inch Nails! I’ll be the hammer and you’ll be the nails!”
*Elmyra pulls out a hammer and swings it down next to Brain who then runs away screaming*

 

[tasso]

"H-Hang on, you... scream yourself to sleep?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“That statue cost a lot of money and you made me blow it up.”
“But it wasn’t my- Wait. Did you just say you blew up the statue?”