The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I'm looking for fresh slug."

"Yellow or purple?"

"Whatever."

"The purple one causes terrible, nightmarish diarrhea."

"Yeah, yeah, either one's fine."

 

[AccfSally]

"Simple minds, simple answers."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Don’t put forks into outlets. (That goes for real life too.)”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You should have given him to ME!”
*Peppermint Butler slaps Princess Bubblegum*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"How long has the band been together as Metallica?"

"Uhh, since we started."

 

[-Blue-]

Nobody rejects Debbie Grund!
Well, I did.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Helga (As the Debbies come walking by her and Milo): Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie!
*The Debbie’s all stop walking and stare at Helga and shudder in disgust*
Debbies (In unison): Ewwwww!
*The Debbie’s then resume talking to each other and continue walking as if they were one being*
Helga (Waving): Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Actual conversation I had with another Cashapp scammer

Scammer: Where are you now?
Me: The Earth
Scammer: Did you like to receive check or home delivery
Me: What’s a check?
Scammer: Send me your address
Me: What’s an address? Is it a type of kitty? I like kitties. Especially when they say Woof!
Scammer: Your House address
Me: What’s a house? Is it a type of birdie?

After that, the scammer stopped talking to me.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Male Playmobil Figure: I make fun of you to satisfy my fragile male ego.
Female Playmobil Figure: I put up with you because I have no other options.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Bart: You know Ned remarried.
Ghost Maude (Angrily As she’s floating up to Heaven): He what?!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Agnes (As a mutated Nugget starts eating a brain): Okay. That’s just gross!
*You live in the sewer*
Agnes: I still have standards!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I went through puberty twice just for this?!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“No, mein Fuhrer, I’m from Arizona.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m crazy enough to take on Batman but the IRS? No, thank you!”

 

[Beanz]

“hold on, i’m looking up aneurism in our medical dictionary to see if i just had one.”

-gilmore girls (not sure who said it bc i was in a compilation but i have never watched the show before)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Of course the Super Friends are racist! I originally went by Supervolt but then Aqua Man decides that I should be called Black Vulcan instead. And so I said to him, ‘Yeah? Well how about I call you Whitefish?!’”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And none of the horses are eating each other….”
“Well, why would they, Stan? It’s taboo.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“The more you love someone
The more you want to kill them!”