The out of context quotes thread

“I’m teaching Helga here how to proselytize.”
“She’s learning how to turn tricks?”
 
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*Woman wear a dress literally made out of rags talking to some Mice*
“Oh Mina! It’s perfect!”
“Oh wow. It’s uh wow!”
“See?! She’s speechless!”
“She loves it!”
“You do love it, right Princess?”
“Oh uh yeah. Of course I do. It’s just a lot.”
“What does that mean?”
 
“Do we have to listen?”
“Yeah. You remember what happened to Grandma.”
“SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD WHEN I GIT THERE!”
 
“Love...”
“Love...”
“And hate...”
“And hate...”
“They like two brothers...”
“Brothers...”
“Who go on a date.”
“Who... what?!”
“Where one of them goes,
other one follows.
You inviting love
he also bringing sorrows.”
 
“And how’s my little guy this morning?”
“I DON’T KNOW WHY I MARRIED YOU!”
*Baby Sinclair whacks Earl directly in the face with a frying pan and breaks it*
 
Go on without me. Find a new wife. One with shoes that fit.
Okay.
Bob, I was kidding! Don't leave me! You won't like your new wife! She won't laugh at your Mrs. Doubtfire impression like I do!
 
“Is-is she really gonna steal a watering can to hit me in the face with it?”
*You must be new here*
“No I’m not! You guys are the new kids here!”
*Oh yeah*
 
“'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!”
 
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