“Oh Your Honor, why must I suffer like this? And what’s wrong with making friends with Fraggles?”
“It says in our rule book that Dozers may only be friends with creatures that are noble and intelligent.”
“Well, who says that Fraggles aren’t noble and intelligent?”
“The rule book.”
"Security system TAKES CONTROL OF SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE and begins ATTACKING THE CITY. Leaving the mayor to give Squidward community service for the damage he caused. EVEN THOUGH Spongebob and Patrick were in his house the WHOLE ****ING TIME,"
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” ― Tina Fey, “Bossypants”
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” ― Bill Watterson, “The Complete Calvin and Hobbes”
“Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me — I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing...I’m booked.” — The Grinch, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” — Charlie Brown
“When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands.” — Larry David
