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What should i do if my crazy ex wont stop messaging me!?

Kit/Kitsune

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Jan 17, 2024
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My ex used to shush me everytome i tried to talk and hold my mouth so i couldnt speak and make every decision for me! and they also hurt me sometimes if i tried to keep talking, and now they have the nerve to keep asking me back! what should i do! i dont want to be rude!
 
They sound obsessive. Your wording makes it sound like you know this person in real life, so I'd suggest cutting contact with them. You don't have to keep someone in your life that insists on hurting you. Being single is better than being in an unhealthy relationship.
 
If the messages have any types of threats to you or your loved ones, you can file harassment charges and a protection from abuse order against them. If it isn’t anything too serious then just block and ignore them on your phone and social media. I did this to a guy that is friends with my dad and who wanted me to be his secret lover which I outright refused to be and he kept bothering me with texts and so I blocked him and never even told him I got a new phone or a different number. He stopped bothering me after that.
 
My ex used to shush me everytome i tried to talk and hold my mouth so i couldnt speak and make every decision for me! and they also hurt me sometimes if i tried to keep talking, and now they have the nerve to keep asking me back! what should i do! i dont want to be rude!
It's only rude if you're being disrespectful IMO (talking trash etc..). If you're not willing to block them at least, sounds like you may still like the attention?
 
i allready blocked their number but they keep makeing severall accounts on discord and keep harrassing me
 
i allready blocked their number but they keep makeing severall accounts on discord and keep harrassing me
Not sure if you're willing but maybe creating a new account on discord would help? I think there's a setting you can turn on to not accept messages from random people. Or possibly just having a conversion with your ex about what's happening (which you may have already).
 
where do i find that setting?

If someone on Discord is harassing you, it may be worth checking all of your "User Settings". The account settings look slightly different depending on whether you're accessing them via the phone, computer or web apps.

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Under “My Account” or “Account”, you can find a list of your “blocked users”. The best way to not receive messages from someone who has contacted you is to block them immediately.

Under “Privacy and Safety”, you may want to turn off allowing direct messages from members you share a server with.
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If you're using the phone app, you'll also have these options, so you don't sync your phone contacts with people on Discord, nor can people discover you from your phone number or email address.
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Under “Friend Requests”, you can turn off how other people can send you a friend request
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I'm sure there is someone way more versed in Discord that could have explained more easily than me, but if you haven't already adjusted these settings, hopefully doing so will help stop someone contacting you when you don't want them to. You deserve to feel safe.
 
Well, first thing I can suggest is log out of Discord for awhile. If they know they have ways of reaching you they will, they'll keep up the game of making new accounts, if you keep blocking them all. I would log out for a few days maybe a week or so.

I've been in this situation both in real life, and online. Ive been stalked by an ex in real life, I've also had friends in similar situations like this. So I feel you. Irs scary. Very scary. When I was stalked I stayed at my friends house for a week and a half with a stick by my side 24/7.

The number one thing you can do is stay offline, as in log out. Friends you have on Discord will understand your absence once you tell them when you come online again. But staying offline is your best defense.

If it escalates to your ex going to you *offline* then inform your family and since they've physically hurt you like you said above I would call authorities. Knowing you have people who care and have your back, can be very comforting. You don't owe this person any favors, so I get how you don't want to be rude, but you shouldn't be kind to the person, who hurt you.

Your safety is the number one priority, and their feelings come second. When I was dealing with harassment he would keep saying how heartless I was being for not talking to him, how I was being mean, a child for not acknowledging him. But I could care less because he was harrasing me. That's what I mean when I say don't be nice to them.

Stay Offline, don't acknowledge them in any way. Staying offline is your best defense.

So stay safe. My DMs are open if you want to talk. But do what you have to for yourself. Remember, your ex doesn't matter. Only you do.
 
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i allready blocked their number but they keep makeing severall accounts on discord and keep harrassing me

If they keep harassing you, document all of it so you have proof if legal action is required in the future.

That's abusive. Their treatment of you is downright harassment. Never, ever worry about being "rude" when they aren't even treating you with basic dignity.
 
Like what others mentioned, make sure you’re gathering evidence that this person is constantly harassing you just in case. It’s good to hear that they’ve stopped, but don’t be afraid to file a restraining order if the person persists and has to come to that. It’ll be your best bet in terms of your safety.
 
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