Narcissistic Abuse

[lostineverfreeforest]

I had a "friend" who turned out to be a narcissist, the guy was just using me for drugs and attention. When he tried to reintroduce himself in my life I just flat out told him off. I have no need for parasites.


Most recent encounter with a narc was when I camped out in a no-tell motel (I wouldn't go so far as to call it a real hostel ) waiting to move into my current residence. Half the people staying there were young guys looking for a place and the other half were older people who were down on their luck. Some of them definitely had mental/personality disorders like this guy who pretty much tried to one up anything you said. When I had enough of him I simply said "You're a narcissist, I know a narcissist when I see one.", put on my headphones, and asked him to leave me alone. He asked me if I could hear him and I said "Nope!" He angrily stormed over to me and said things like "I'm older than you, know more than you," etc. etc. Not the first and certainly not going to be the last narc I've encountered so I just turned up the music to the point where I couldn't hear anything else. I'm pretty sure he was threatening me but I continued to ignore him, eventually giving him the smallest violin in the world. He kicked over my (closed) milk bottle and left. These people are mentally about 15 years old and behave more like children than men. Guy was at least 60, had grey hair and all. It's no wonder why he couldn't find a roommate haha, nobody would put up with his **** for long.

 

[Kapriznyy]

My therapist has told me on more than one occasion, "I wouldn't diagnose him without meeting him, but it really does sound like your father has narcissistic personality disorder..."

Sad to hear the reddit ended up infested with narcs. I found some support there a few years ago but haven't been back.

 

[teanigami]

Sad to hear the reddit ended up infested with narcs. I found some support there a few years ago but haven't been back.

Where have you seen them there? Maybe I'm just oblivious xD

 

[Kapriznyy]

Where have you seen them there? Maybe I'm just oblivious xD

Someone mentioned it on the first page of the thread I think - that raisedbynarcissists ended up being a place where the narcs go to complain

 

[Mr. Cat]

Narcissistic personality disorder is highly genetic. On the flip side, it's also really rare. More than likely they're just annoying people.

His mother is a textbook definition of a Narcissist (I'm working on a degree in Psychology btw). That is why I'm scared, but it's very common for children of Narcs to develop BPD, which I think is the case.

 

[Seroja]

His mother is a textbook definition of a Narcissist (I'm working on a degree in Psychology btw). That is why I'm scared, but it's very common for children of Narcs to develop BPD, which I think is the case.

I wish for the best for you dear. It's going to be tough on you if he is.

 

[Twisterheart]

I think my friend's grandmother is narcissistic. I always dreaded going to their house, because I knew she would be there. She would always boast about how great she was, and what she had accomplished. She also took advantage of everyone in the house. She would control what they ate for dinner, what they wore, where they went and she would always go with them. If the kids or the parents wanted to do things differently, she would always guilt trip them into making them feel so bad they'd do what she wanted.

She also took advantage of me several times. I wanted to go to my friend's house to PLAY, but the grandma would make us work all day long. One time she took me and my friends three or four hours away to her friend's house, so we could help her clean a civic center for a party for her. She didn't ask my parents or anything. She forced me to go, and we had to clean all day. When we were done, she took me home. I didn't even get to stay at the party. I was probably 7 or 8 years old.

Another time she took us several hours away to visit her friend. I was only 11 or 12 and she took me away without my parents knowing to a bunch of strange men's house. Of course my friends were there, but still I don't think that's right. And then on the way home she tried to make us feel bad because we didn't want to be there. And of course the whole way home she boasted about how amazing she was, so she didn't understand why we didn't want to spend time with her.

And another time, she made us go work on a farm for her friend's all day long. we got up at 5am and had to go pick tomatoes in a gigantic field, before pulling all the weeds out and watering them. We then had to go collect plums, and then go search for eggs in this gigantic, hot barn. She did nothing the entire time, except order us around and talk about how amazing she was and how her friends would be so grateful towards her.

She did a bunch of other things like that, but I believe she's narcissistic. I feel sorry that my friend's had to deal with her all the time all day long.

 

[Kapriznyy]

That doesn't sound like narcissistic personality disorder, just an old person with boundaries typical of those in her generation. Her parents and grandparents likely did the same sort of thing with her when she was that age.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

Someone mentioned it on the first page of the thread I think - that raisedbynarcissists ended up being a place where the narcs go to complain

They encouraged a member to continue to try and kill their parent. The problem with safe havens that ban any criticism is that they become harbours for the actual behaviour.

- - - Post Merge - - -

His mother is a textbook definition of a Narcissist (I'm working on a degree in Psychology btw). That is why I'm scared, but it's very common for children of Narcs to develop BPD, which I think is the case.

Narcassituc Personality Disorder is potentially hereditary. It's also common personality traits people can just have. Very rarely is it a disorder and not just someone being terrible. Not to mention, this is all being relayed one sided. But the term narcissist has become a term for generally bad people to have in someone's life, like a "toxic" friend.

 

[Twisterheart]

That doesn't sound like narcissistic personality disorder, just an old person with boundaries typical of those in her generation. Her parents and grandparents likely did the same sort of thing with her when she was that age.

I don't really think so, because she is so self obsessed. I didn't explain it very well, but I was trying to say that she was so obsessed with herself that she didn't care or think about others. She expects people to bow down to her and do what she wants, because she thinks she's so important and that everyone owes her something. If you don't do what she wants, she treats you like you're lower than her. And all she ever talks about is herself nonstop. How great she is, how beautiful and young she is, and how everyone else is lesser than her and stupid. She shows a lot of signs of narcissism.

Sorry I didn't explain better before.

 

[Skyfall]

I'm not going to actually talk about the narcissits that have come and gone (and one thats still here!) in my life, because its going get me all riled up. But one thing i have learned is you cant change them, ever. Dont ever engage them. They will never admit what they are, they can never see a view other than their own. Arguing with them or trying to change them will only backfire. The only person you can fully control is yourself. My strategy is always to minimize my interactions with them, not let them get to me.

This is actually true for everything. You cant control other people, only yourself. Its a rare person who actually admits they are wrong or trys to change or grow... So you can only control your dealings with them.

For those of you who are somehow trapped where you have to interact with them, like you are minor and you have to live with them or something, wow, you have my condolesences. Hang in there until you can get away! Cant offer too much advice there, but just know that you are not at fault, keep strong and dont let this person wear you down. Life cant stay the same. It always changes. Just as you cant be happy all the time, it cant be *****ty for ever either. Heres to hoping things will get better soon.