How Have You Made Friends on TBT/Other Websites?

[Sheando]

I’ve been curious about this for years! So I’ve been a member of TBT since 2014 and have participated in a lot of big events, gone through periods of regular activity, etc., but I’ve never even come close to “making a friend” on here. This is not at all a woe-is-me post, I just find it genuinely fascinating that so many people are able to use this site as a means to form personal connections.

I was interested/baffled back in my Tumblr days as well, as so many people would talk about their “mutuals” and would have personal interactions with people they’d met on the site, whereas I was using it to…..post GIFs and images and text about stuff I liked.

In real life, let’s say at my library job, there are sometimes frameworks for getting to know people better. You’ll be on the same desk for a bit or have to solve a problem together and that’s where you ask about their day or discuss a movie or something. I don’t think I really understand what the online equivalent would be! It’s like “post cute photos from my animal crossing town” —> ?????? —> “bestie I sold my collectibles to buy your dream star wand” and I literally cannot picture what would go in the ????? zone, haha. Unprompted PMs? Profile comments?

Once again want to be very clear that this isn’t a complaint post—I love TBT and have had nothing but good experiences here with events, trading, etc. I just like knowing how brains work and the psychology and practice of friendships in online spaces has intrigued—and eluded—me for years. If you’ve made a friend here or in another online space, how did you do it? Did it happen slowly through normal use of the space or did you set out to befriend the person?

 

[Seastar]

Basically I accidentally ran into some conversations in The Basement in 2020 and ended up making a few friends. I don't really remember how it happened but it may have started with someone making a group chat? At least 2 of them I still talk to daily. The rest either disappeared, don't talk quite as much, or uh... something else happened.
I don't really know how making friends works. I've always done it by accident.

 

[Mr.Fox]

It just happens through natural conversation. Certain people you just mix well with and think ‘these are my kind of people’. Intelligence with a sense of humor is usually what does it for me.
If you’re lucky, you’ll still maintain these friendships outside of the forums. I have 2 people that I met here that left the forums years ago, but I still talk to them often.

 

[Ichiban]

I've made a few over the years, only keep in touch with the more recent ones though!

 

[idiotdoomspiral]

I met my bff forever @neoratz thru this website and it started from PMing eachother abt common ground we shared over some topics (stemming from the Unpopular Opinion thread of all places lawl). I had already seen her contribute around other online spaces i had lurked around at the time and it didnt register in my brain until we started talking for a while. Also shawo who i met thru the competitive game events, havent talked to in a while but u are forever in my thoughts brothar. So it had very little to do with animal crossing itself, + speaking of another forum my relationships on there fizzled out once i distanced myself from it and there was like, nothing else i could talk abt with them really as our whole dynamic was built on discussing the website and its various happenings

I was interested/baffled back in my Tumblr days as well, as so many people would talk about their “mutuals” and would have personal interactions with people they’d met on the site, whereas I was using it to…..post GIFs and images and text about stuff I liked.

I feel this tbh. I'm very reclusive and panic when someone random follows me on tumblr LMAO. Since ive always just used it to showcase images/GIFs ive made for the most part it does seem a bit of a challenge to start a conversation based on someone else's images u think r also epic & cool. Before that i basically grew up on one social media platform where i just naturally entered into the inner circle by being 14 yrs old posting outdated memes in pkmn and smash bros communities and then when it got taken offline i didnt know what to do !
I never consciously look for friends but sometimes the opportunity just kinda falls into my lap and ye

 

[Emolga59]

It just happens for me. I've made all of the tbt friends I talk to daily through discord, so I recommend joining some of the tbt related servers, they're typically pretty active during the events. I also think that it's easy to make friends in the team events via the team discussion boards, there's less people and you'll be able to get to know them better!

 

[kayleee]

The answer is… I don’t. I have been on this site almost 10 years and have many acquaintances but no close friends, so same situation as you. Honestly it’s a lot of effort to make and maintain friendships sometimes so I just figure that people who make a ton of friends on here have dedicated a lot to those build those relationships!

 

[Aquilla]

I have! I wasn't active the first two years I was here, but now that I am, I have met people here who I consider good friends of mine. <3

 

[neoratz]

i made a close friend from tbt, @idiotdoomspiral ,who RUDELY replied to this thread while i was typing about him!!!! and yeah it went basically like he said XD i recognized him from seeing him around the forum and we started talking privately after he messaged me re: a Unpopular Opinion post i made. which is pretty funny cuz i feel like you do not usually make friends from those kinds of threads. i was very lucky that he contacted me because he is one of my bestest friends ever now.

i miss shawo too... he hasn't been on for a while but we met from our team during the TBT world championship and it was AWESOME!!! i have never felt more camaraderie during a TBT event.

It’s like “post cute photos from my animal crossing town” —> ?????? —> “bestie I sold my collectibles to buy your dream star wand” and I literally cannot picture what would go in the ????? zone, haha. Unprompted PMs? Profile comments?

i think the psychology of online friendship is really interesting too! for me, "??????" is definitely repeated interactions over quotes/profile comments/PMs. on tumblr it's "i reach out after reading someone's posts / someone reaches out to me", but i usually only do this if someone consistently makes posts where they talk about random stuff (most people call these "personal posts", i don't know if you call them the same!). it starts as just replying to their posts and sometimes escalates to private messaging :-)

i think you are more likely to make friends if YOU reach out, because most people would be happy to chat but have no inclination to start the ball rolling... or they are just shy. so YOU gotta push that ball! if you notice someone talking about a lot of stuff you enjoy and think you could be friends, it is never a bad idea to leave a comment on their profile or PM them ^__^ eventually you will find out if you mesh well, like real life

 

[demoness]

usually i just exist and you lovelies notice

But seriously speaking, I just try to add someone on discord and see what happens. im not the type of woman that prompts conversations, but if you're good about talking about your interests i can always maintain one. i'm mostly looking for intellectual connection like, intuitive and creative people or the type i can talk art, music, horror, comics, literature or random existential thought exercise dorky stuff. eccentric like moi. i avoid people who need constant validation or emotional support though because I'm "left-brained" and that bugs feelers out and i go straight to giving a solution, which apparently is not comforting.

i'd be your friend, OP. anyone on the site would it's how we roll. tell them, demonlings. with me say aaayyy

 

[Drawdler]

I think the best way to make acquaintances is to leave an impression on people, especially if you reach out. If you want to be friends with someone you have to regularly reach out which is where I struggle. I honestly don’t have a problem dropping a random message to start the conversation, but even when things went well I can just be having a bad time with other things or expect too much from myself, or get flashbacks to bad people despite that they should be totally irrelevant. PTSD is bad.

For the impression thing I honestly don’t think I would have as many people who followed here without doing my art! If you know someone with a cool skill or insight or something you look up to then you wanna be friends with them? You know? If you wanna draw people in you can try and learn a cool skill and share it. There’s one Discord server I’m on where I just joined there because I did a commission for the guy who owns it, and it’s pretty quiet but I still appreciate being there.

Also opening up about insecurities without being dependent on others to solve them for you or throwing them on there. If people find a safe space with you it tends to help the friendship imo and I think the ideal relationships are those you can express what’s upsetting you and feel you help eachother.

Ultimately though there are general tips you can follow but making friends isn’t something you can grind like a skill. I think the #1 difference between an acquaintance and friend is how actively you reach out to eachother simply for the company. Sometimes it’s just a crapshoot tho

 

[oath2order]

I joined multiple guilds for Elder Scrolls Online. We then did trials and dungeons, friends through battle bond.

 

[Croconaw]

I just post around the forums and try to leave a good impression. I feel wrong just coming out of nowhere and trying to insert myself into friend groups, so I'll wait for people to come to me. This happens in real life. I'll talk to people but I don't try to form friendships with people in case of rejection.

 

[Dinosaurz]

Honestly no idea how we became friends but me and @Coach have been friends since around 2015
We used to play Roblox together (I think that’s perhaps how?) and we met up the first time a couple years ago, now we hang out semi regularly irl
I did have a few friends made here from a group chat I was in, but I don’t really talk to anyone else anymore

 

[Darcy94x]

I made a very good friend on here but he hasn’t been active in yeaaaaars and I miss him dearly!!

@xara always checks in on me and @Aquilla also recently checked in on me, I get birthday messages from the same people every year. Sometimes I wish I had more friends on here but because I feel old I guess I’m just not down with the kids (is the phrase)

 

[Kitsuragi]

uh. people usually just kind of brute force their friendship on me and i'm always down for that. i don't typically seek out friends, they just kind of happen to me. and i like it like that hah

 

[Romaki]

I made some casual online friends in the past, but it never ended well (or rather, it ended).

I'm actually more antisocial online, it's probably due to anxiety and paranoia caused by bullying.

 

[Midoriya]

I've made plenty of friends on this site, both in the past, and ever since I returned in 2018. I treasure all of the friends I've made here dearly, even if some of us don't talk as much anymore.

I've also made friends on other sites in the past, and uhhhhh yeah, those petered out way more quickly...

 

[thatawkwardkid]

I don't really have friends on here since I'm not active enough. I've made online friends in the past but I don't keep in contact with them anymore.

 

[S.J.]

I think it happens over time from repeated positive interactions. It could be a team event, posting in the same thread, having a shared interest, trading in AC, or just one person reaching out to the other.

Usually I reach out to people about something (if I think they have a cute profile pic, or I love their art, or maybe they posted about something relevant to me). Sometimes I will just think you're nice (probably subconsciously?) and will impose myself onto you lol.