This thread is ment for everyone to share their stories about their lives or if you want to vent than you come to the right place! I come from a very screwed up household. I currently live with a man who's a narcissist, an old lady with dementia, and my roommate who is the only person who loves and cares about me. I can't afford to move out, I am unable to go places by myself because I'm bad at directions. I was verbally and physically abused growing up as a child. I hate waking up every morning to their faces, I hate having to put up with their yelling and throwing things around, and making up bs stories about their other family members. If anything goes wrong the old lady just blames everything on her duaghter and me. yea its my fault and I'm making you out to be a liar. *sarcastic*
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Disfunctional Families
- Thread starter Hulaette
- Start date
- Status
Dementia sucks. I've seen first hand how bad it can get. I really understand that it can be frustrating living with a person with such a condition, but the way you talk about it and complain, is just nasty. It's fine to voice your anger, but at least try to understand what it's like.
kaitastrophe
Senior Member
Hey, I understand you're angry and trying to vent out your feelings, but the way you're saying it is very rude and nasty. Also, that is a very touchy subject and could offend some people, and most people dont want to talk about it.
To be fair OP did say that she was just venting. It's totally normal to have a lot of anger living in a situation like that and if you don't have an outlet to say what you're feeling then you might end up taking out that anger on yourself or others (for example in this situation saying something to the actual woman suffering dementia).
So OP I think it's completely normal and healthy for you to have those feelings and really important for you to get them out. Feel free to talk to me by pm if you're worried that others might get offended. I grew up with an abusive step-mother and an elderly grandmother so I can probably relate.
So OP I think it's completely normal and healthy for you to have those feelings and really important for you to get them out. Feel free to talk to me by pm if you're worried that others might get offended. I grew up with an abusive step-mother and an elderly grandmother so I can probably relate.
I wasn't talking crap about the lady on this thread!! I can't even have a normal relationship with this lady because she doesn't like me and she thinks I'm the one causing all the problems and gets upset over it. But I can't help having aspergers. You have no idea how hard it is for me to cope with this. This is a real situation that is going on so please bare with me.
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Thank you <3 at least someone understands.
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Thank you <3 at least someone understands.
avoiding touchy subjects wont help anything
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[size=-2]I can't say I came from a dysfunctional family or that I understand it, but I did grow up in a very poor household from when I was very young until around 13. My parents were actually the only ones I knew out of my friends and other family who stayed married until my mother passed away in 2013. But it sounds like you're living in a very stressful situation OP, definitely feel free to vent.
And if it's not getting too personal, you could try and ask your room mate for help in possibly getting some government assistance for yourself? Disability, food stamps, insurance--Anything to help you take some baby steps in getting out of the environment you're in.[/size]
And if it's not getting too personal, you could try and ask your room mate for help in possibly getting some government assistance for yourself? Disability, food stamps, insurance--Anything to help you take some baby steps in getting out of the environment you're in.[/size]
I feel like everyone's family is a bit dysfunctional in their own way, but I was always taught that family problems should stay within the family and not be publicized. I don't think anyone's childhood is/was perfect, we all have our own stuff to deal with.
Leedle-lee
Fire Emblem Junkie
Everyone has their stuff, and we all need to accept that. Whether it's a disfunctional family, or an abusive family, or anything else along those lines. It's hard to accept what may be right in front of us, but eventually we all have to reach our own conclusions about our families. From there, well, doing something about it is up to the person.
Then again, that's just how I see it.
Then again, that's just how I see it.
Well both my parents are divorced and have been since I was 4, but I've been so fortunate that they have always still been really good friends, and they share the week with me. I'm with my mom on weekdays, dad every Wednesday, and they switch weekends between me. They also still talk to each other a lot and act like friends. The only reason they divorced in the first place is they had different opinions. My only siblings which is my older sister lives far away because she's having problems I'd rather not talk about here. We also don't live with anyone else, all our family is out of state, and I only have one grandparent left since the rest of them died before I was born. So yeah, my family isn't great or super connected, but I am happy that all 4 of us face everything together, head on. The most important thing is to be happy for what you do have, and realize that there are always going to be worse families and people's lives being worse than your own. Yes, there are better ones, but it's all up to scale. Remember to only give credence to the ones that truly care about you. You are a good person and you are loved (I'm saying this to anyone in general), even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
I had a pretty rough childhood and my family is just about as dysfunctional as it gets. Lately, the hardest thing for me though is my relationship with my mother. Of anyone in my family, she's the only one important to me and she has many good qualities. However, in many ways her conservative upbringing shows or judgements. Honestly, it's hard sometimes...especially being in an interracial relationship. Sometimes the comments are just too much especially when I know they don't seem offensive in her mind. She approves of our relationship and likes my partner but...she's very one sided and close minded when it comes to cultures.
I'm tired of the pettiness and extremely tired of the acting like your religion or beliefs are the only ones of any truth or importance. Tired of the eye rolls at customs I adore. It's fine if it's not something you personally want to do or understand...but you don't need to belittle other people as if it's backwards or from the stone ages.
-.-; Rant done for today..
I'm tired of the pettiness and extremely tired of the acting like your religion or beliefs are the only ones of any truth or importance. Tired of the eye rolls at customs I adore. It's fine if it's not something you personally want to do or understand...but you don't need to belittle other people as if it's backwards or from the stone ages.
-.-; Rant done for today..
Vent for the day:
Its so annoying how the old lady thinks she had to be a part of Eeeeevery conversation that goes on around her. I'm thinking Jeez, just shut up this has NOTHING to do with you so stop seeking attantion! Yeah. she does that just to get attantion! I am a very observant person and I know quite a bit about psychology. She thinks I'm stupid and that I'm so dumb to see what's shes doing when she stirs the pot. What she doesn't understand is that I see the tables are turned.
Its so annoying how the old lady thinks she had to be a part of Eeeeevery conversation that goes on around her. I'm thinking Jeez, just shut up this has NOTHING to do with you so stop seeking attantion! Yeah. she does that just to get attantion! I am a very observant person and I know quite a bit about psychology. She thinks I'm stupid and that I'm so dumb to see what's shes doing when she stirs the pot. What she doesn't understand is that I see the tables are turned.
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Dasbreenee
Crystal Gems!
I know you're venting, which is understandable. But if she has dimetia, chances are she had absolutely no idea what she's doing. I've worked with people who have Alzheimer's and dimetia for a little over a year now. I get hit on a daily basis, yelled at, slapped, called names. But one thing they say is, never feed into what they're doing. Because they don't know. Treat them with respect and kindness just as any other person. People who have these diseases are scared, they don't understand what's going on around them in a lot of cases. Sometimes if you're overly kind, every once in a blue moon they'll show kindness too.
I had a grumpy old man with Alzheimer's in my work area. He was convinced that I was the management of the nursing home and would call me a stupid broad every day I worked because I told him I didn't know the phone number for the owner. Still could be the sweetest guy ever. And another lady, Bev who had dimetia. She was so mean, called names, and was convinced that the government put her there because she knows too much. As soon as you offered her a glass of Coke she would sit down and talk to you for hours. Just try to be patient and kind. That could be you some day.
I had a grumpy old man with Alzheimer's in my work area. He was convinced that I was the management of the nursing home and would call me a stupid broad every day I worked because I told him I didn't know the phone number for the owner. Still could be the sweetest guy ever. And another lady, Bev who had dimetia. She was so mean, called names, and was convinced that the government put her there because she knows too much. As soon as you offered her a glass of Coke she would sit down and talk to you for hours. Just try to be patient and kind. That could be you some day.
I know the whole song and dance. I worked in a retirement home for 5 years. I seen it all. I will say this for the last time. The lady who lives here with me isn't that bad yet so so she knows damn well whats she says most of the time. You wanna talk about this some more do it in PM please.
pillow bunny
Senior Member
you realize she can't help having dementia, right?
Dasbreenee
Crystal Gems!
Well then you should know that they can't help it. That's all I'm saying. Go ahead and vent. My 86 year old grandfather lives with me. He irritates the heck outta me. But he's old. That's all there is to it.
I know that they can't help it. But my point is that the old lady sometimes tries to make a problem out of anything on purpose, She knows exactly whats shes saying MOST of the time. All I know is that I'm not going to put up with SOME the bs she does on purpose. I'm not saying she does it all the time intentionally, just sometimes. She is still fully aware of everything that goes on. That's what I'm trying to say.
Vent for the day:
As much as I tried to understand what this so called dementia is and why it happens. I just have a hard time accepting it. I seriously don't get why everyone has to pamper this old lady like a freakin baby, It's embarrassing. She always steers the conversations all about her. Like she always expects everyone to talk to her right away if they come into the room at shes in, or she thinks shes always a part of everyone else's discussions and always chimes in. I know that she is smart and aware on a decent level and she dam well knows it. She thinks that she can get away with being lazy and make up excuses because shes old. She needs to try harder and put more effort into herself.
As much as I tried to understand what this so called dementia is and why it happens. I just have a hard time accepting it. I seriously don't get why everyone has to pamper this old lady like a freakin baby, It's embarrassing. She always steers the conversations all about her. Like she always expects everyone to talk to her right away if they come into the room at shes in, or she thinks shes always a part of everyone else's discussions and always chimes in. I know that she is smart and aware on a decent level and she dam well knows it. She thinks that she can get away with being lazy and make up excuses because shes old. She needs to try harder and put more effort into herself.
TW: CSA, Pedophilia, Abuse
My family has always been a mess.
As a second generation, I will never understand my culture or language. And I wish I knew how to speak vietnamese, and I wish I could see Vietnam with my own eyes, but I won't for a long time.
The war in Vietnam tore my family apart. My mother lived alone for a long time, before the rest of her family came over. There, she met my father in college. They got married and had me.
Life wasn't easy for me or my mother. The war left my father traumatized. He was constantly angry. He had gambling problems. He would hit me over everything. I remember being terrified of him. He beat me over spilling milk. He beat me for not finishing my dinner if I was too full. He beat me for anything. When I was 3, he beat me for puking on his shirt. My mother often got beaten too if she tried to intervene. My brother was never touched throughout our lives, luckily. I envy my brother sometimes. Now, my brother starts to take after our father and I hate it.
I remember when I was 5 and it was nap time. I got no choice. I had to sleep, my father said so. I woke up a while later and it was still nap time, but I really had to use the bathroom. I was terrified of leaving my room, even though it was right next to my bedroom. I was shaking. I cried and peed there, and never told my father. I was simply too terrified to even use the bathroom. My childhood was always like this.
Life was awful. I was a quiet kid. I never spoke to anyone. I found it hard to talk to people. When my parents divorced, I broke. I had trouble in school. I was an disobedient child.
Soon, my mom met another man. He was okay. We slowly warmed up to each other...but he got too close. At the age of 10, I knew nothing about sex or relationships. And he slowly groomed me and manipulated me into doing sexual things with him. It took me until now to realize what he was doing wasn't okay.
And I hated myself for it. I thought I was so stupid. I was suicidal for a long time. I never understood some of the things he said. I never understood any of it. And I blamed myself for being so stupid, not seeing through it. I'm almost 15, but I realized this wasn't okay about 3 months ago.
He's out of the picture now, but my mom still sees him and believes his story over mine. And it hurts. CPS closed the case on him because of the lack of evidence. And I still suffer nightmares from both him and my father. It has ruined my relationships with my family. I no longer talk much to anyone in my family.
I wish I loved my family. I wish I did. But I just can't.
My family has always been a mess.
As a second generation, I will never understand my culture or language. And I wish I knew how to speak vietnamese, and I wish I could see Vietnam with my own eyes, but I won't for a long time.
The war in Vietnam tore my family apart. My mother lived alone for a long time, before the rest of her family came over. There, she met my father in college. They got married and had me.
Life wasn't easy for me or my mother. The war left my father traumatized. He was constantly angry. He had gambling problems. He would hit me over everything. I remember being terrified of him. He beat me over spilling milk. He beat me for not finishing my dinner if I was too full. He beat me for anything. When I was 3, he beat me for puking on his shirt. My mother often got beaten too if she tried to intervene. My brother was never touched throughout our lives, luckily. I envy my brother sometimes. Now, my brother starts to take after our father and I hate it.
I remember when I was 5 and it was nap time. I got no choice. I had to sleep, my father said so. I woke up a while later and it was still nap time, but I really had to use the bathroom. I was terrified of leaving my room, even though it was right next to my bedroom. I was shaking. I cried and peed there, and never told my father. I was simply too terrified to even use the bathroom. My childhood was always like this.
Life was awful. I was a quiet kid. I never spoke to anyone. I found it hard to talk to people. When my parents divorced, I broke. I had trouble in school. I was an disobedient child.
Soon, my mom met another man. He was okay. We slowly warmed up to each other...but he got too close. At the age of 10, I knew nothing about sex or relationships. And he slowly groomed me and manipulated me into doing sexual things with him. It took me until now to realize what he was doing wasn't okay.
And I hated myself for it. I thought I was so stupid. I was suicidal for a long time. I never understood some of the things he said. I never understood any of it. And I blamed myself for being so stupid, not seeing through it. I'm almost 15, but I realized this wasn't okay about 3 months ago.
He's out of the picture now, but my mom still sees him and believes his story over mine. And it hurts. CPS closed the case on him because of the lack of evidence. And I still suffer nightmares from both him and my father. It has ruined my relationships with my family. I no longer talk much to anyone in my family.
I wish I loved my family. I wish I did. But I just can't.
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