What's Bothering You?

My eye is still really bothering me, and my doctors and Opiticians have just been fustrating. I dunno what happened between the referal, but it's just been one thing after another.
Because it's been itchy, its extremely dry and bad around my eye. Been trying to use certain creams to lightly dab my eyelids. Have to get my prescribtion tomorrow, but I'm just so tired of dealing with this already.

It;s also just made it harder to get on with things when one or both eyes are just aggitating me DX
 
I just started playing Fortnite with my niece and if I spend like 23 bucks on that option I'm still 100 vbucks short of buying her and myself a skin. Why are the options so bad, I don't want to spend 30-40 bucks just for something that's worth like 25. 😭
 
I’m worried about things with my sister and her family. My mom told me she asked for a separation and I really am upset. I really like my brother in law and the way she screams at him reminds me of how my dad screams at me and my mom. My brother in law does need to do things she ask him but I know her screaming doesn’t help. I also don’t want my nieces to go through this either.
 
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I saw on Pokemon home people had shiny miradon and koraidon up for trade but asking for something that isn’t possible like alolan golem in legends arceus. Really bothers me when people do this

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I realized I am trans again, and now I refer to myself as genderfluid. Having random bouts of dysphoria with no consistency is awful. I never know when the dysphoria comes and even if I medically transitioned I'd still feel the dysphoria when I feel like a man.

I also hate the extra attention I've gotten since I opened up about my gender identity on my Discord account. I get way more messages and friend requests than when I presented as a cis man and it's obvious they're only talking to me because of my gender. If it were because of my vibe or personality the amount of attention wouldn't have gone up after my pfp and the gender on my profile changed.

It felt nice to be seen as worth interacting with once I opened up about my gender at first, but now I'm aware that it's not from a place of sincerity. Women and feminine nonbinary people are texted by strangers online often simply to date them. I'm aware of that since I did the same thing when I was a teenager (18-19). If I still presented as a man those people wouldn't have looked at my profile twice. I suppose it's karma I'm being subjected to the same kind of attention I used to give people because I had no romantic luck in real life and hoped to get that kind of connection from people I met online instead.

I don't want people interacting with me privately online simply because I am someone to potentially date and not because they actually like me as a person. I dated someone who confessed to me online after I opened up about my gender struggles and I know she only saw me that way because she realized I was closeted. She said she had a history of dating "eggs" (closeted trans people) and admitted to dating someone else in the past because she thought they were an "egg" too.

The relationship went poorly because, by nature, online relationships don't usually work. Starting long distance makes it harder to keep the relationship going and the other person can easily hide their real personality. You also have little to no information on what the other person looks like and if you start dating before seeing a photo, you may realize you aren't attracted to them in terms of appearance until it's too late. That's what happened to me and I don't want a repeat of it. I felt trapped with that person and when her true colors showed she insulted my trans experiences so much it pushed me back into the closet (hence why I said I wanted to by he/him on here again)

It will take months or years to get the therapy I need to get over the trauma from that online relationship and now I don't trust to date online again. Whenever I see those insincere friend requests or messages from strangers I get a pit in my stomach because it would just be another repeat of texting or dating someone for my gender identity and not me as a person.

The only silver lining is it gave me a window into my past mistakes and now I understand why it was harmful. You should never start texting people for the sake of potentially dating them. It is insincere and the other person will see right through it and (rightfully) ghost or block.
 
Not much is bothering me at the moment but I do feel a little bit cold. the air conditioning is blasting because my mom feels hot like she has a fever.
 
I was just talking to my mom about taking my cats for a walk in the stroller and my dad as usual had to butt in and say, you’re not going anywhere; you have been talking about taking them for a walk for years but you never did. First of all, I wasn’t talking to him. Second, what is it to him. Third, I have agoraphobia so not commenting like that and being maybe more supportive and understanding like a real parent would be nice? This is why I stay in my room and avoid talking to him until he goes to bed. I can’t talk to my mom ever in front of him without him being rude.

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experienced a shock arrest at a palestine protest over the weekend and got out of custody yesterday after 23 long hours (technically 25 hours, but 23 in a cell). thought it wouldnt be a big deal like all my other arrests and then i broke down crying at work today from the stress of it all. now its 1 am and im emailing my lawyers trying to organise representation. i love what i do and id never change it for the world but this legal system.... it gets me down!
 
okay sordy if im being way too meanspirited about this but im just gonna say it: gamers

like okay, yeah, nintendo is doing really stupid desicions, and honestly? id be with you guys. I love nintendo, but i know what theyre doing is stupid. Like, the patents. Nintendo, you really went over your own head with that one.

My problem with them is that they are so loud and obnoxious about it to the point i WISH nintendo does more bad stuff. Why? because im spiteful, you irritated me with words on a screen, and i hope you become more miserable than you already are by hoping nintendo increases the price. Like, oh, I'm the problem? GOOD. I HOPE I AM. I LOVE BEING YOUR PROBLEM.

Another thing is half the steam fans that are ALSO loud and obnoxious. Like, oh, I'm a bootlicker? HOMELESS MAN CALLS ANOTHER HOMESLESS MAN BROKE. Sure, I may be a bootlicker, call me that all you want, but you can't really be talking when you treat Gabe like a perfect god who does nothing wrong.

And on the topic of that: Palworld sucks, and anyone who says otherwise just likes it because they hate Pokemon. The game is boring, definitely feels like it's copied from Legends Arceus, and I'd rather play Disney Infinity. Let's be honest, Yo-Kai Watch is way better, because they actually tried to make the monster catcher genre interesting.

Back to regularly scheduled "Snickrs whines about words on a screen", I also hate when people weaponise indie games/fangames. Like yeah, I know, Silksong is good, in fact, might be my "game of the year" if I didn't suck at metroidvanias and my computer actually works nowadays. What I don't like abput it is the fact people are weaponising it and making the same unfunny "git gud" joke that stopped being funny after the 3rd time i saw it. Plus, I'm not even sure these people who "love indie games" have ever played any pther indie game other than Deltarune, Undertale, Hollow Knight, Silksong, Antonblast, or Pizza Tower. (hypocrisy alert)

In short: I'm a whiny chronically online loser who's annoyed about words on a screen from other whiny chronically online people, and hates both sides of the coin.
 
Despite my youngest cat doing well with his steriods the vets have given him, and doing well in general; my head likes to makeme worry, and overthink things. Mainly his food. He does eat well, but there are times I notice he isn't eating the double packets of food or another brand he used to like; and I need to keep telling myself, it's normal for them to change appitate, because again he is still eating well with other food.
He also stayed under my bed the whole day after his visit from the vets, but again, I think he's just had a crazy day. He's sleeping on my bed now, so it is just my head that hates me. Hate this feeling DX

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My boss keeps changing how much hours I do, as I was suppose to come back to work the afternoon, yesterday and said I don't have to. As someone who likes being organised, it feels unbearable when my boss and the job is the complete oppisite.
 
How animal crossing new horizon isn't as fun as it used to be. I miss doing errands for villagers. Not an everyday thing but once in a while
 
Another very minor inconvenience but we’re about to run out of choccy milk D:

Oh and also my face is a bit swollen from wisdom Tooth surgery but thankfully it’s not the worst swelling :3
 
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