Yeah, there was a lot going on back in June that led quite a few people to leave for good. Matter fact, it was my birthday (June 9th) when I started to realize it all.
What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
i’m still active, i just don’t post a lot anymore because there’s nothing to post about really because of how slow things are as of recent. there’s not a lot of new threads anymore.
edit: ***thought this was the random thoughts thread, my bad.
edit: ***thought this was the random thoughts thread, my bad.
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StarlitGlitch
Sweets Lover
I did notice in the last few days that the site seems to be less active, but I think that there are also many students who use TBT and are back in school now.
Anyways, I have a number of things bothering me, mostly work related. I still feel a communication barrier at times at work since it's 100% in Japanese now, and that causes things to take longer than it should for me. I'm worried about when I will be able to finally get the point where there is no barrier for me so that I can make better progress in my career and be less stressed.
Anyways, I have a number of things bothering me, mostly work related. I still feel a communication barrier at times at work since it's 100% in Japanese now, and that causes things to take longer than it should for me. I'm worried about when I will be able to finally get the point where there is no barrier for me so that I can make better progress in my career and be less stressed.
Rise Kujikawa
Push Risette!
Very, very dangerously depressive spiraling lately. Not even my poor wife who is also suffering through the same situation I am ( if not more ), is able to pull me out of it and I feel so bad so I'm going to just vent here about my feelings and hope it helps. here's my pity party, sorry ahead of time..
I've been on TBT for 12 years. Started as Mayor Aimi, then changed into my artist name Pixori for a while and now we're here due to a fandom I love. All that to say, I have never had an issue on this website or made waves in all of that time. I've made many friends, seen many people come and go and have generally enjoyed my time here. I've also had playful relationships with some and also have happily drawn for many. I loved my time on this site.
As completely silly as it is, it seemed like a getaway from the more harsher internet sites.
To get personal, I'm a physically disabled woman on SSDI. I don't make a lot of money other than through what little artistic talents I have, because I am absolutely house-bound. The government money barely gets me through half the month. I can barely walk anything more than short distances.
On top of which, I do suffer from CPTSD, have also been diagnosed first with ADHD and then in my 30's, I was pushed by my autistic friend to go get evaluated and was diagnosed as autistic as well. I also have OCD... am OCD..? Honestly, Idk how to word that lol. sorry.
As you can see I don't have a lot going on in my life. I can't go out and work like others can. I don't have the privilege, unfortunately.
It's depressing and I don't talk about it ever bc of that but sorry, I'm just going off about everything rn even if it's a little embarrassing.
I won't speak much of the situation at hand bc I want it to end and know that this person may come and stalk me even here since they've been making me feel paranoid, unsafe and harassed. If you are reading this for whatever reason-- I am NOT mentioning your name or saying much about it. So please for the love of God, leave me alone if you are reading this. Leave. me. alone. I'm literally pleading with you, leave me alone.
If I don't talk, I might crash-out in an unhealthy way. I want to vent in the place of my sadness. Anyways.
I am being shorted money I can not afford to lose for defending my wife from disrespect. It is what it is but unfortunately that money was for medication and I did not think I would suffer and I did not account for this happening, as I could not predict this happening. My money is very stretched already so losing any bit unexpectedly messes me and my wife and my animals up much more than you could imagine. $20 doesn't even cover the box of cat food I get, so losing double of that is going to hurt. I hate talking about money issues, it's humbling, embarrassing and awful to be forced into this position.
I've also felt harassed and stalked for days now unnecessarily. My blood pressure has been up and tbh generally I just need to be free of everything. I don't know how I'm going to make up for this person's vindictiveness bc I know that paypal has a predisposition to side with buyers, even if you have all the proof in the world. It's been a common problem for artists but people only ever like using paypal. It sucks.
I'm really scared and hoping for the best but it's up in the air. I've hardly slept because of this. It's been six days since I've really gotten rest, my anxiety is through the roof and I just want to crawl under a rock and disappear. I'm a big crybaby, everyone in my family knows this and I can't stand confrontation, even if I have to deal with it as well as I can and can appear that I'm fine, I'm not.
I would never do anything to put someone in harms way. I may say things when I panic and am threatened but I'm not a person who would ever do anything to anyone. Even if it is justifiable, I will not speak this persons name. So please leave me alone. Even though they SAID they would NOT do this and thus I have every reason to call them a scammer-- I just want to be done with you forever. No matter what the result is, leave me alone. You've done enough because of your vindictive behavior, have lied, pushed things beyond reason and I'm tired. So tired.
Because of how I do feel now, I'm probably going to be taking either a hiatus after all of this or completely leaving this site altogether. I just don't feel safe, or happy. A safe space for me is gone and that really sucks. All for protecting myself from abuse. lol. I don't even know if this site will let me keep this post up. I'm just really sad and venting. Sorry if I broke any rules somehow. I ask for some grace, if so.
Sorry, I'm extremely longwinded haha;; orz... Who knows if I'll feel safe to even leave this up for long.
As completely silly as it is, it seemed like a getaway from the more harsher internet sites.
To get personal, I'm a physically disabled woman on SSDI. I don't make a lot of money other than through what little artistic talents I have, because I am absolutely house-bound. The government money barely gets me through half the month. I can barely walk anything more than short distances.
On top of which, I do suffer from CPTSD, have also been diagnosed first with ADHD and then in my 30's, I was pushed by my autistic friend to go get evaluated and was diagnosed as autistic as well. I also have OCD... am OCD..? Honestly, Idk how to word that lol. sorry.
As you can see I don't have a lot going on in my life. I can't go out and work like others can. I don't have the privilege, unfortunately.
It's depressing and I don't talk about it ever bc of that but sorry, I'm just going off about everything rn even if it's a little embarrassing.
I won't speak much of the situation at hand bc I want it to end and know that this person may come and stalk me even here since they've been making me feel paranoid, unsafe and harassed. If you are reading this for whatever reason-- I am NOT mentioning your name or saying much about it. So please for the love of God, leave me alone if you are reading this. Leave. me. alone. I'm literally pleading with you, leave me alone.
If I don't talk, I might crash-out in an unhealthy way. I want to vent in the place of my sadness. Anyways.
I am being shorted money I can not afford to lose for defending my wife from disrespect. It is what it is but unfortunately that money was for medication and I did not think I would suffer and I did not account for this happening, as I could not predict this happening. My money is very stretched already so losing any bit unexpectedly messes me and my wife and my animals up much more than you could imagine. $20 doesn't even cover the box of cat food I get, so losing double of that is going to hurt. I hate talking about money issues, it's humbling, embarrassing and awful to be forced into this position.
I've also felt harassed and stalked for days now unnecessarily. My blood pressure has been up and tbh generally I just need to be free of everything. I don't know how I'm going to make up for this person's vindictiveness bc I know that paypal has a predisposition to side with buyers, even if you have all the proof in the world. It's been a common problem for artists but people only ever like using paypal. It sucks.
I'm really scared and hoping for the best but it's up in the air. I've hardly slept because of this. It's been six days since I've really gotten rest, my anxiety is through the roof and I just want to crawl under a rock and disappear. I'm a big crybaby, everyone in my family knows this and I can't stand confrontation, even if I have to deal with it as well as I can and can appear that I'm fine, I'm not.
I would never do anything to put someone in harms way. I may say things when I panic and am threatened but I'm not a person who would ever do anything to anyone. Even if it is justifiable, I will not speak this persons name. So please leave me alone. Even though they SAID they would NOT do this and thus I have every reason to call them a scammer-- I just want to be done with you forever. No matter what the result is, leave me alone. You've done enough because of your vindictive behavior, have lied, pushed things beyond reason and I'm tired. So tired.
Because of how I do feel now, I'm probably going to be taking either a hiatus after all of this or completely leaving this site altogether. I just don't feel safe, or happy. A safe space for me is gone and that really sucks. All for protecting myself from abuse. lol. I don't even know if this site will let me keep this post up. I'm just really sad and venting. Sorry if I broke any rules somehow. I ask for some grace, if so.
Sorry, I'm extremely longwinded haha;; orz... Who knows if I'll feel safe to even leave this up for long.
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(Don't really have any dead by daylight friends to chat to about this, and it's still on my mind)
The other day I was playing a few matches of the 2 Killers vs 8 Survivors event, and as killer it can take a while to be put into a match. And playing as survivor to pass the time, and it wasn't going well and i was extremely looking forward to play as a killer called the Spirit, and have fun.
Finally got into a game, and as the two killers and I could see what my other partner will play as, and they chose Trapper. Perfect~ We would be a really good team, and when we loaded into the map, I saw we had a good map that would benefit us both.
I ran off to look for survivors, and tried using the Spirits skill as best as I could. I noticed however, that alot of survivors were getting gens done, and I could see my partner, until I noticed...he was standing in the exact place we loaded into.
I went over there, and I was so damn disapointed, I even saw survivors around him and poking him, and this killer wasn't doing anything. I saw him move an inch when I 'attacked' him, so the player wasn't AFK.
There was no way a single killer can do anything with 8 survivors, and of course they completed all the generators.
There were three survivors who were actually nice, and stayed to 'lose' even though I told them to go. It was definitely nice they wanted to do that, but I didn't want them to lose like that. Wasn't fair for the rest of us.
I did report them for not participating. :/
The other day I was playing a few matches of the 2 Killers vs 8 Survivors event, and as killer it can take a while to be put into a match. And playing as survivor to pass the time, and it wasn't going well and i was extremely looking forward to play as a killer called the Spirit, and have fun.
Finally got into a game, and as the two killers and I could see what my other partner will play as, and they chose Trapper. Perfect~ We would be a really good team, and when we loaded into the map, I saw we had a good map that would benefit us both.
I ran off to look for survivors, and tried using the Spirits skill as best as I could. I noticed however, that alot of survivors were getting gens done, and I could see my partner, until I noticed...he was standing in the exact place we loaded into.
I went over there, and I was so damn disapointed, I even saw survivors around him and poking him, and this killer wasn't doing anything. I saw him move an inch when I 'attacked' him, so the player wasn't AFK.
There was no way a single killer can do anything with 8 survivors, and of course they completed all the generators.
There were three survivors who were actually nice, and stayed to 'lose' even though I told them to go. It was definitely nice they wanted to do that, but I didn't want them to lose like that. Wasn't fair for the rest of us.
I did report them for not participating. :/
My boss has asked me to go buy two big whole milk before i get to work today, and I am super peeved off about it.
As I already told her ex I won't ever be buying milk again, and it looks like I'll have to tell her this is the LAST time I buy milk. They want me to buy milk before I get to work, meaning I will be late as the only place that has milk at this current time, is in the oppisite direction of where I walk to work.
To make matters worse, and the main reason I don't want to buy milk anymore is that my shoulder blades have a problem, I dunno what that problem is, but the more weight I put on myself, the worse the pain in my shoulder blades get.
It's weird, because even my small shoulder bag I always wear with less weight always gives it pain after work. Stress? Not sure.
Add on the fact that they always leave the shop a mess for me in the Monday morning, and I'll be working by myself along with dealing with the school morning rush, this morning is going to be so damn stressful.
As I already told her ex I won't ever be buying milk again, and it looks like I'll have to tell her this is the LAST time I buy milk. They want me to buy milk before I get to work, meaning I will be late as the only place that has milk at this current time, is in the oppisite direction of where I walk to work.
To make matters worse, and the main reason I don't want to buy milk anymore is that my shoulder blades have a problem, I dunno what that problem is, but the more weight I put on myself, the worse the pain in my shoulder blades get.
It's weird, because even my small shoulder bag I always wear with less weight always gives it pain after work. Stress? Not sure.
Add on the fact that they always leave the shop a mess for me in the Monday morning, and I'll be working by myself along with dealing with the school morning rush, this morning is going to be so damn stressful.
