What's Bothering You?

I feel so sick. Not even 'suck it up and go to work' sick. As in even sitting up makes the world spin and I'm now regretting forcing myself out of bed and down the stairs for a cup of tea. The reverse journey ain't happening anytime soon.

Don't want to phone my boss I hate disappointing people. And waiting to make a phone call is the worst part.
 
So, my mum has been with this sort of moving agency, that helps older people move to certain areas in our country; and we've been wanting to leave the city for so long.
We usually miss out on places from this agency due to being second in line or whatever.

And we almost had the chance to move extremely recently; if it wasn't for our housing and council decided not to support as with moving costs.
We, me and my mum, have hardly anything saved up. So, the moving costs would be really high. And she called around all the places she could, and one of the reason they couldn't help is that my mum works!!
One thing say they could only help with £16 - t-tthats all.
So, we've had to email them to say we can't come see the place, and I wish I just had money saved up.
 
I have a lot of games I have never played on Steam. I know it’s a meme, and I think this count is a bit inaccurate, but SteamDB says I have 249 unplayed games.

… That’s intervention-type behaviour. I am not buying anything other than Guilty Gear stuff and Hades 2 until that number goes down significantly, 150 or 100 at least.
 
i thought when i started medicine for anemia i wouldn’t feel like this anymore. i woke up today so tired i couldn’t even move. since i felt so weak i didn’t let myself drift off back to sleep because in the moment i get paranoid that if i let myself i’ll die. i hate feeling like this; feeling so weak that i can’t even function or get up to eat or do anything. i can at least keep my eyes open right now. i just wish i didn’t have this overwhelming fatigue completely absorbing my body.

i suspect it’s cfs, but i’m sure when i go to the doctor again they’ll want updated bloodwork. i’m not looking forward to it as last time i whited out and was shaky for a few hours after.
 
i thought when i started medicine for anemia i wouldn’t feel like this anymore. i woke up today so tired i couldn’t even move. since i felt so weak i didn’t let myself drift off back to sleep because in the moment i get paranoid that if i let myself i’ll die. i hate feeling like this; feeling so weak that i can’t even function or get up to eat or do anything. i can at least keep my eyes open right now. i just wish i didn’t have this overwhelming fatigue completely absorbing my body.

i suspect it’s cfs, but i’m sure when i go to the doctor again they’ll want updated bloodwork. i’m not looking forward to it as last time i whited out and was shaky for a few hours after.
Anaemia treatments are a pain and take repetitive doses to be effective - and if you miss any you'll quickly feel the backslide. If you're new to it then it will take you a while to feel better.
 
I dunno if it's fair for me to be upset about this, but it upsets me all the same so I'm going to vent

As an artist, I love hearing what people think about my art, even if it's something as simple as "I like the poses" or "your lines are clean", it makes me so incredibly happy to know that someone likes my art and took the time to look at it
I have a close friend that I usually show my stuff to before I post it anywhere, and they were usually really good about letting me know what they liked, if they noticed something off, etc

but for a little while now, no matter what I show them, no matter how excited I am about it, they pretty much always respond with "it looks good" that's it, every single time, very little variation
it makes me feel like none of my art is special and my efforts are wasted, it's discouraging

i don't expect people to shower me with compliments, just knowing that they actually looked is good enough for me, but it feels really bad when it's the exact same phrase every single time no matter what I show them
 
There's a homeless person at my front door and I am laying on the ground of my living room hoping she does not see me.

She ended up taking my neighbour's Amazon packages so I ended up going outside and asking for them back. She just handed them to me and we went our separate ways. I hope my neighbours appreciate that cause confronting people sucks
 
omg, im trying to play dead by daylight, and one of the challenges is being the killer called the Artist, and I have only one shot at the challenge called 'Swarm of darkness' and i dunno what i am doing wrong, but I do so well, but when i finally almost finish the challenge everyne has already completed all the generators and i have no idea how to get the last swarm

It is SO FUSTRATING
 
Essays. I had one today, and I’m not really scared of failing since I think it’s at least a B-. What I am scared of is that not being enough for my parents, because you know, to them, if it’s not at least an A it’s basically an F. And I feel like this wasn’t an A because for that, you need to have 3 fleshed out paragraphs, but we only had 45 minutes so I only ended up having one fully completed body paragraph, half a body paragraph, and a conclusion. I think that’s more my fault for not coming prepared which is what I think we were supposed to do, but still. If this gets an A then I’m going to be shocked, but that’s not going to happen. I hope it’s at least not a C, since this is a summative.

Grades are fun when you have parents that are waaay too strict.
 
I havent eaten for the past 2 days and it’s really starting to get to me. Every piece of food I see or smell makes me want to throw up. I guess it’s just my loss of appetite after getting hurt so bad, but it sucks. I wish I could eat but if I try it just comes right back up or hurts.
 
Been lying in bed awake for over 3hrs. Might be due to the 4hr nap I took this evening although I came straight up to bed immediately after it so hoped I would fall right back to sleep. Depressingly, that 4hr nap is the most amount of sleep I've had in any 24hr period since the 25th.

I miss sleep. :(
 
This is minor; just my anxiety. Just worried that I’m annoying when I post something. I have a hard time getting to the point and drag on. Sometimes I go off topic too. >.<

Also, I got a ton of bug bites I think when I went outside to take pictures of my mom’s flowers. They’re bothering me so much.

I’m doing pretty good today, though I keep feeling the depression and thoughts about my best friend and the stuff that has been making me this way there.I miss how things used to be. 💔
 
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