What's Bothering You?

Some garbage got flung onto the ground when the garbage truck emptied our bin and I came out to find one of my pads fully unravelled on the road BRUH that's been out there all morning c'mon man 😭😭
 
I literally am tired 24-7. I work overnights and have been for over a year now but I can never get used to staying up all night. It completely ruins my weekends, and everyone important in my life works normal human hours. It's depressing and frustrating. I have gained a bunch of weight because I am always just so lazy and tired now. AGH!
 
  • For over the last week I've had a really bad arthritis flare up. Usually it's my lower back, wrists, hands, fingers and shoulders that suffer, but the last week about every joint in my body has been in agony and swollen. I can hardly even put any weight on my ankles. A task which would take someone 5 minutes takes me 15 minutes. Getting in touch my my so called 'Rhuematology Care Team' is a joke. Whenever I try to call them it's please don't leave a message until October 18 after 2pm, then I try after that time it's please don't leave a message until after October 20 after 2pm. So, if I'm luckily enough this afternoon to even leave a message it will be next week before anyone gets back to me. If I contact my GP, they say go to your Rhuematology Care Team as we can't prescribe anything higher for you. I feel like saying to them 'It would be different if it was you suffering like this'. I have so many gadgets that I've bought myself, that are supposed to help, but you have to be able to use your hands a little before you can use them. Steroids are the only thing that helps me, and they say 'Oh, they have too many side effects'. I would rather take my chances with the trivial side effects, but they will openly prescribe me pain injections that can cause severe health conditions: MS, Cancer, etc. I know that the health services are busy but I've been left without any pain injections since July. After I had a reaction to one, it's as if that didn't work so never mind. I am more tired than ever, as I am wakened more than usual at night.
  • Plus, my little Blossom has decided for the past few nights that she doesn't want to go into her crate at night. Since about June we haven't put her in the crate during the day, only at bedtime. She will only put her front legs in then as soon as I go to close the door she quickly backs off, then she starts panting, she drools too, but drooling is normal for Bassets. We haven't done anything differently, whenever we toss treats in so will usually go in straight away. I am so worried about her, we are due to go to the vets sometime next week as she's due her weight check for her routine medication. However, last night she did go into the crate, but she was panting and drooling, but we have a camera so we can check on her at night. We left the television on for an hour when we went upstairs, I looked on the camera and she was completely settled. She is acting completely normal apart from this crate issue. I have read online that dogs can just act up for attention, so I am really, really hoping she is just going through a diva phase!
 
I'm very worried about a close friend of mine, and my anxiety issues really aren't helping 😞
yeah uhhhhh after this morning now I'm even more worried honestly. I don't know what to do. if something bad happens to him my anxiety will absolutely skyrocket, and I can't even be there to offer help or support. I might end up being a nervous wreck for the rest of the day, just waiting to make sure he's alright 😭
 
I'm sick of missing classes because my stupid ****ing bus has a substitute every other day and they're always 5 years late.

Edit: the bus company called and said it should be 40-45 minutes late. There is no good reason any bus should be that late. Let me put it into context. It's 7:18 right now and my first class starts at 7:30, and I'm about 30 minutes away from the school since my dad is just driving me there now instead. That means I'll miss about 18 minutes of class, and class is an hour, so I miss 1/4 of class. This wouldn't be so big of an issue if it wasn't happening so often recently.
 
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really wish my partner would get a ****ing job so that im not in debt with both of our expenses.
 
"the current waiting time for a full [autism] assessment is 30+ months" so what is the point then, actually? and if i'm not ~autistic enough~ based on my answers, they're just not even gonna bother anyway lmao.
 
I had a minor surgery yesterday, and while I'm not in any pain right now, the location of the incision is making everything really difficult. It's on my stomach, so I'm not supposed to bend, lift anything heavy, vacuum, etc. I took today off so I could rest a bit, but I'm the type of person who finds it hard to relax and likes to get things done, so I'm feeling really annoyed. XD
 
it's been my first month since college and i still don't feel like i belong, let alone deserve to be here. everyone else has already settled in but i'm still in this "first day jitters" mindset and i can't TAKE it. i feel stupid. i don't understand what's happening most of the time despite how hard i try. i've been chalking it all up to imposter's syndrome but there comes a point where i'm like "is it really imposter's syndrome or are you just trying to cope with the fact that you're incompetent?"

it doesn't exactly help that i'm STILL very socially stunted. i don't think people understand what i mean when i say i CANNOT socialize at all. i truly cannot make conversation without planning out everything ill say beforehand or i'll begin freaking out and having a panic attack. i can't take it. i'm supposed to be doing an internship in january and i fear i'm only getting worse. ughhhhhhhh i wish i was normal sometimes.

also my art for the halloween event deleted itself before my eyes and i was nearly done w/ it.. i didn't get to save it either :( .
 
Been feeling pretty sick with a fever these past few days. I really don't like it either since I just tend to feel demotivated and even cranky as times. Really sucks. :,|
I know I told you in Discord, but I hope you feel better 🫂💕 💖🩷💙🩵
 
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