What's Bothering You?

I am going to see a New Primary Care Doctor in the next few days becuase my old primary doctor who I have had since the past 10 years just dropped me without any warning. When I asked them they just said "You live too far away and I have so many patients to see" I have never been so betrayed and abandonded in my life.....
 
I had a severe panic attack and a flashback to the time when I nearly drowned, all that got me out of it was thinking of my boyfriend pulling me out, I am extremely unwell and feel unsafe in this house
 
I couldn’t sleep last night due to feeling congested but I’m actually fine now in the morning, but I’m tired. I think I’ll feel awake soon.
 
There's the possibility of heavy snowfall for my area tomorrow night and into Wednesday and if it does happen then everything will come to a standstill I won't be able to get to work. The thought of potentially using another days holiday from work for something out of my control is just flippin' annoying. So for once I hope it doesn't snow. 😩
 
Minors with little to no work ethic and they play on their phone or film TikTok’s at work. I usually help out in their position but I refuse to “help” them while I do their work and they sit on their ass and film TikTok’s.
 
Minors with little to no work ethic and they play on their phone or film TikTok’s at work. I usually help out in their position but I refuse to “help” them while I do their work and they sit on their ass and film TikTok’s.

Ugh, that sucks. If you do whatever on your phone while there's nothing to do, that's fine. But if there's stuff to do, then do it.

Edited to add: What's bothering me right now is the sheer amount of people I seem to be interacting with that use WAY TOO MUCH cologne. I'm sorry, but less is always more when it comes to fragrances.
 
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Minors driving me crazy at work today, lol. Just some drama. The only thing keeping me sane is my favorite person. I love her so much.
 
I feel the need to create, but the way my personal projects almost never work out is kinda discouraging
 
. There’s drama between the two irl friend groups I’m in and once again I am stuck in the middle, seeing both sides. And in one of those groups I feel like an extra. Like if I were to disappear, they wouldn’t care, they’d just move on with their lives like nothing happened. It feels so ****ing horrible, because I have a hard time making friends and get attached to people I become close to. I feel so goddamn alone and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Also it’s getting worse mentally. People who didn’t notice before are starting to see something’s wrong. There’s always something going on, and now I don’t feel like I have a right to be upset anymore. I’m so overworked it’s not even funny. I want things to get better, but I don’t know how.
 
Well, we got more snow. Never though I'd say this but I'm actually sick of it. Spring, come!
 
I’m developing anger towards some of the minors I used to consider myself friends with at work. It’s similar anger that I’ve felt when I walked out of jobs, although I’m getting a decent schedule (weekends off) and decent hours for what I do. Days off usually doesn’t matter to me but I see less minors during weekdays.

I don’t want to go to college. I feel like I don’t need a reason. I actually was about to write “because” but I deleted that since I don’t see a need to explain myself or justify it. Sometimes you just don’t want to and that’s okay. I’d rather have entry level jobs and work jobs that people without going to college can do. I used to ask for job recommendations and people would always recommend college as if it’s the only option. People also recommend jobs you need college for and say if I went to college I wouldn’t have to deal with minors. Or when I say I don’t want to go to college they call me an idiot. In my personal opinion, I work best and the longest at retail jobs. I could get hired in as a manager too, since I know how to do everything. The thing is, my job history is ass. I have had so many jobs with weird gaps that if I were honest nobody would hire me. I always apply entry level and don’t list my job history. I could lie, but management positions always check and sometimes other jobs check.

I enjoy cashiering the most but the rude customers ruin it… which, there aren’t that many of them. I’m best in retail. I do like my job currently, though… just talking like for the future, because I will definitely be moving eventually.
 
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trying to apply for SNAP/EBT and ig I'll have to have one or both of my parents help me bc it's so overwhelming and I don't know all the info I need 😭

I'm just worried they'll deny me and then I'll have to continue constantly worrying abt having money for food, it's so stressful and is a huge depression trigger for me. I can't keep dealing with it.
 
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