What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
update on my doggo, we got back from the vet a bit ago and she diagnosed that he has a torn ligament in his left knee. it's not bad enough to require surgery but it's clearly bothering him since he sometimes hobbles on one leg. she gave me pain meds to give him twice a day or as needed, and he basically just needs to rest until it heals enough that he can get around with no pain. poor baby bean
I feel bad for him cause I def know what it feels like to have a messed up knee (I had a bad knee injury in late Dec 2017, required major surgery and it took me about 5 months of PT to be mostly normal again), and watch everyone around you be up and moving around freely while you just have to sit there and watch them. I hope he can recover soon so he can be himself again. he seems kinda sad and it makes me sad.
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
Mom and I are not speaking to each other given the heated arugment we had yesterday about money problems. She was using my information behind my back without my consent and she is playing the victim making me look bad. I really wish I can just move out of the house at this point, but I am stuck living with her so I have not much of a choice either way.
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
Update: Mom and I reconcilled. It was all huge misunderstanding and we decided to just bury the hatchet. Man I have a habit of making things out to be a big deal and then I realized it was all a misunderstanding. Ugh what is wrong with me.....
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
surprisingly I didn't know about what happened until @/Shellzilla_515 told me recently, it's about an hour north of where my grandma lives. I saw what kind of effect it's having on the environment and it's really concerning. I'm not sure if Mike DeWine has addressed it yet and come up with a plan to tackle it, but if not he better get on this. I'll be keeping my eye on the news for sure, I've already been worried about pollution issues in other places like Michigan because I care a great deal about environmental activism and taking care of issues like this, and just seeing this happen breaks my heart.
I guess today has been a pretty overwhelming day for me, with talking to my therapist and taking my dog to the vet and everything else. I've been feeling really tired since about 7pm and I want to work on my drawing but instead I'm sitting here playing music and not doin much else. I think it's because I'm feeling a great deal of empathy and pity for my poor dog. it really hit me today how hurt he actually is. and seeing him hurt, I feel his pain so much. I'll prob go to bed early, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us.
Obviously I’ve been stressed based on my last post in this thread, but I do feel a little better. I’m still not sure about my friends or their intentions with me, but it’s not what’s bothering me right now.
I have to work tomorrow which isn’t a big deal but it’s a closing shift because I’m covering. I’m not a fan of just closing. I strongly prefer the morning shifts or working all day. My favorite person called off tomorrow (and today) because she isn’t feeling well. She let it slip to me she’s coughing up blood and I’ve never heard of anything like that before. I’m a bit worried but she’s telling me to just relax. I’m not sure what her plans are or if she’s planning on working over the weekend, but we’ll see. It just sounds serious. She doesn’t even smoke or does anything that’s considered bad for you.
She was so out of it at the movies but I couldn’t pay much attention to her since I was sitting elsewhere. (Surprising, I know.) I hope she is okay.
I have to work tomorrow which isn’t a big deal but it’s a closing shift because I’m covering. I’m not a fan of just closing. I strongly prefer the morning shifts or working all day. My favorite person called off tomorrow (and today) because she isn’t feeling well. She let it slip to me she’s coughing up blood and I’ve never heard of anything like that before. I’m a bit worried but she’s telling me to just relax. I’m not sure what her plans are or if she’s planning on working over the weekend, but we’ll see. It just sounds serious. She doesn’t even smoke or does anything that’s considered bad for you.
She was so out of it at the movies but I couldn’t pay much attention to her since I was sitting elsewhere. (Surprising, I know.) I hope she is okay.
Wow I left a bunch of likes here huh. It’s just a shorthand for hoping things get better basically.
Anyway, what’s bothering me? Well even though I enjoy the little courses I’m taking weekly it’s not enough, it’s not what I truly want and that’s kinda killing me. I’m busy every day now, but I know this isn’t really efficient. I’m asking for what classes I could take or what schools I can go to and simply nobody here has an answer for me, they just tell me to look online. I already have, they’re all the same weekly kind of thing and a lot of the tutors don’t have impressive art (no offense, it just feels like I could reach their level on my own). Or you have the other extreme of doing university, and I’m not ready or rich enough for that. Or I could do classes that are purely online… but it’s a different experience and not the full experience, it’s not enough tbh.
I wish I could just grind it out and learn and talk with someone who knows their stuff 12 hours a day. I am doing my best to teach myself but I have to use so much time simply to find sources of info etc. and I can’t totally fully judge or instruct myself.
If I sound kinda bitter it‘s because I am, I’m really lonely, I’m really tired of this, I’m really blown away by how few options I can find and how this art club with professional teachers aren’t leading me anywhere. I have one lead, but I’m busy all of next week, she’s probably busy and so I can’t see her for a while… and if she can’t help me idk what I’m going to do next. I guess I’ll be trying a ton of courses, throw them at the wall and see what sticks- but this is absolutely ridiculous.
I know there isn’t one definite path but I know there’s better than this
Anyway, what’s bothering me? Well even though I enjoy the little courses I’m taking weekly it’s not enough, it’s not what I truly want and that’s kinda killing me. I’m busy every day now, but I know this isn’t really efficient. I’m asking for what classes I could take or what schools I can go to and simply nobody here has an answer for me, they just tell me to look online. I already have, they’re all the same weekly kind of thing and a lot of the tutors don’t have impressive art (no offense, it just feels like I could reach their level on my own). Or you have the other extreme of doing university, and I’m not ready or rich enough for that. Or I could do classes that are purely online… but it’s a different experience and not the full experience, it’s not enough tbh.
I wish I could just grind it out and learn and talk with someone who knows their stuff 12 hours a day. I am doing my best to teach myself but I have to use so much time simply to find sources of info etc. and I can’t totally fully judge or instruct myself.
If I sound kinda bitter it‘s because I am, I’m really lonely, I’m really tired of this, I’m really blown away by how few options I can find and how this art club with professional teachers aren’t leading me anywhere. I have one lead, but I’m busy all of next week, she’s probably busy and so I can’t see her for a while… and if she can’t help me idk what I’m going to do next. I guess I’ll be trying a ton of courses, throw them at the wall and see what sticks- but this is absolutely ridiculous.
I know there isn’t one definite path but I know there’s better than this
Foreverfox
✨💖glow & shine💖✨
I feel this. I constantly look for ways to improve my art, but It feels like a big open field that I just end up doing circles in. I bought a masterclass program, haven’t had time to really sit down and do it. Also, the tablet I bought it on is also my drawing tablet - so that was dumb. I basically have to watch it, pause, go do what they said, and press play, and repeat. It’s time consuming and annoying. I also don’t have much time to sit and do tutorials, but that’s what I need to do. I too, wish I could just take a university level class on even just my art program and cram-learn it in a couple weeks. Hang in there, and take a break from it for a bit if you need to. I took all of January off of art, and I‘m just now feeling like I can start coming back to it and be in a better frame of mind. I’m here if you ever want to talk about it!
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
relieved because I got a call from the psychiatrist's office this morning to set me up an appt, but I'm also frustrated bc I had to schedule it all the way out to May. I guess at least now I know I have something and I'm on the road to recovery but I wish I didn't have to wait like 3 months to even begin to be evaluated/treated for bipolar
also poor doggo is understandably still not feeling well, usually mornings he gets really excited to go outside and he's eager to start the day but today he spent the first half hour still in my bed. he just got up and I need to take him out shortly but I still feel really sad and anxious for him.
also poor doggo is understandably still not feeling well, usually mornings he gets really excited to go outside and he's eager to start the day but today he spent the first half hour still in my bed. he just got up and I need to take him out shortly but I still feel really sad and anxious for him.
Okay so I called PostNord today, apparently they didn't have "enough info" to value an embroidered shirt. It's kinda expensive because it's one of those heavier I think with golden embroidery and it's old but jeez the value should be stated on the package wtf...
****ers.
****ers.
Ravenkitty22
would’ve, could’ve, should’ve
My mom just got this email. While I’m definitely glad nobody was hurt, people could’ve been, and that scares me. It sucks that we live in a world where this is something that could happen and is almost normal. I can hardly imagine what would’ve happened if they didn’t stop the kid. But oh well, welcome to ‘murica.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I was feeling okay for a bit but then my dad just completely **** on me and made me feel like a worthless and pathetic person so yea 
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
I was by Kroger's yesterday and the price for Hot Cheetos is now $5.19 it used to be $4.99 before. This price gouging is really going out of control.
I’m having issues with the language I’m learning. Due to my autism I almost always speak with a flat tone. Speaking with any inflection requires an intense amount of effort I usually can’t keep for very long. With English it’s not really an issue since I can usually do stress okay.
With Japanese it’s a different story. If you want to sound like a native speaker you have to imitate a pitch pattern for every word. I can hear the pitch when others speak, but I can never replicate it consistently no matter how much I study. My voice just goes back to monotone like in English. Recently, a nurse at the hospital I was staying at overheard me and told his coworker I used the wrong pitch accent. Likewise, I tried to make friends with another Japanese learner and he criticized my pitch accent too. It still bothers me a bit since I’m trying my best.
Japanese isn’t a tonal language like Chinese, but some people are very insistent about learning pitch accent. My previous college for one graded me harshly for it. While other students were doing pitch accent okay I just couldn’t keep up. All I could do was one phrase. At my current college pitch accent is only briefly mentioned and then never graded. I’ve done better as a result. While the grammar is really hard, I was able to keep my grade up.
I’m just worried I’ll always be looked down on for not being able to replicate one part of this language. There’s little research on autism and language learning, but from what I’ve heard from others on the spectrum we tend to specialize in one area and struggle with others. For me reading is the easiest part, while accent and speaking are the hardest.
One of my moms tried to comfort me by saying that she’s been to many countries (which she has) and usually no one cares if you can replicate accents or not.
Does anyone here know anything about this?
With Japanese it’s a different story. If you want to sound like a native speaker you have to imitate a pitch pattern for every word. I can hear the pitch when others speak, but I can never replicate it consistently no matter how much I study. My voice just goes back to monotone like in English. Recently, a nurse at the hospital I was staying at overheard me and told his coworker I used the wrong pitch accent. Likewise, I tried to make friends with another Japanese learner and he criticized my pitch accent too. It still bothers me a bit since I’m trying my best.
Japanese isn’t a tonal language like Chinese, but some people are very insistent about learning pitch accent. My previous college for one graded me harshly for it. While other students were doing pitch accent okay I just couldn’t keep up. All I could do was one phrase. At my current college pitch accent is only briefly mentioned and then never graded. I’ve done better as a result. While the grammar is really hard, I was able to keep my grade up.
I’m just worried I’ll always be looked down on for not being able to replicate one part of this language. There’s little research on autism and language learning, but from what I’ve heard from others on the spectrum we tend to specialize in one area and struggle with others. For me reading is the easiest part, while accent and speaking are the hardest.
One of my moms tried to comfort me by saying that she’s been to many countries (which she has) and usually no one cares if you can replicate accents or not.
Does anyone here know anything about this?
I haven't been taking classes for myself, the little I know I basically taught myself even if I suck. But yeah as a person with Asperger I can relate, it's like I can learn certain things really well but other aspects brain basically goes lol nope.
As I struggle with this "one side brain" myself I don't really have advice other than, maybe don't be too harsh on yourself and as with anything, do it 10k times and eventually you will succeed your way. I'm also very flat and one-toned no matter the language I speak so for me English pronunciation has been hard for me, cause you don't really learn that here, you're just supposed to know how to say eg. "demon", "literally" etc. so honestly pronouncing Japanese is definitely easier for me cause it has somewhat more set rules, even if it has a pitch. (And I find like, trying to pronounce/read Portuguese easier at a basic level cause most letter and diphthongs are pretty set unless you try imitating specific accents).
Aaand sorry for my rants but I definitely don't look down on you, the amount of time and effort you spend is amazing and I really hope you will get it one day!
Violet Witch
☽Stay Wild Moon Child☾
Birthdays and Christmas's really do show you who your true friends are. I've not had a single "Happy Birthday" message/text from any of my friends, yet I log on here and find some lovely messages from some wonderful forum members.
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I was walking home from the store today and a large group of teenagers started loudly making fun of me and laughing at me, one started to approach me but one of the others told them to stop. I don't know why, literally all I was doing was walking home. I already struggle with mental illness and definitely didn't need that, I came home to my apartment and cried. My self esteem is already horrible to begin with, I just wanted to get home. Everybody please think about how your words and actions effect others.
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