What's Bothering You?

People obviously online on PoGo but doesn't care half a minute to accept gifts nor clear their inventory like gg sending gifts 20 times now.
 
Lately I find myself slowly distancing myself from others. It’s like I don’t have the energy for other people anymore and it’s making me sad, but I don’t know what do do about it. My doctor was talking to me today that he’s been watching me carefully to see if I have bi polar disorder and I’m showing signs for OCD and I don’t have the energy to care about that either. It’s not that I’m physically tired or even emotionally tired. It’s just that I don’t care about anything. I probably should get my meds adjusted, but I don’t care about that either. Also I have a very busy month coming up with classes and a full time job and I don’t want any part of any of it.

Also everyone and their dog has gotten Yae Miko already and I’m few a little salty about it. I know I have plenty of time, but still. The odds are not in my favor.
 
Feeling alone sometimes feel annoying when you have no one else to talk to, either because they are too busy with their lives or I just don't have anyone to talk to these days.
 
I'm just feeling overwhelmed at the moment! I know I am on top of assignments for college, and I have checked my emails for any work updates, but I always feel like I am forgetting something/need to keep busy in order to not feel like I am being unproductive.
 
i started a new job and tbh i really hate it. i may have another job opportunity opening up soon but idk how to quit this current one since i just started in january. but jeez it's nothing like the job description, and the pay is crap
 
i wish finding a final boss feather wasn't so difficult 😞
the only chance I have at getting one is if I miraculously win the heart wand raffle but hahahah that's not gonna happen 🙃
 
I hate dresses with a passion.
Like I don't mind wearing them at home casually on a hot summer day but I guess I just despise the expectation for me to wear one just because I'm a chick. Like it's cold and dresses make that worse. I can't let my legs get cold because they end up extremely stiff and hurt awful to where I can't walk because of whatever is wrong with them and my body temp drops easily and dresses don't help with that. I hate how the wind can practically undress you. I hate the shoes that have to be worn with dresses. They are uncomfortable. My feet are wide with no arches btw. I mean I'm not a huge fan of regular shoes to begin with. So yeah I'm expected to bring an extra pair of shoes so I can stand out in the rain and sleet so I can change back just to be "socially acceptable" instead of wearing normal shoes and not have to change. Maybe I'm just a big baby idk. I've always been picky about clothes as a kid. I'm tempted to wear dresspants with a nice top and see if I have more normal shoes that match somewhere.

I just hate family events in general if they aren't a backyard thing.
 
I did a Big Girl Cry yesterday and now i feel stupid bc it was a really shallow thing and maybe im just sensitive
i feel embarrassed and im sure karma is going to get me but whatever
 
Beanz said:
already. the 3Ds was the greatest console i have ever owned imo,
Click to expand...
I still play my 3DSXL regularly, it's easily one of my favorite game consoles (along with the N64 and Wii) so I'm pretty bummed to hear they're shutting down the eshop. I still play Nintendo Badge Arcade everyday and I guess after a certain point I won't be able to buy plays anymore (which isn't a huge issue but they only give out about 3-4 plays per day). the day they shut down online servers will be really upsetting for me.


I came this👌 close to actually feeling okay and going to bed problem-free but nope, my body's like "hey it's time for a headache yay!!" like really bruh 🙃
 
My niece admitted that she doesn’t like me.

I’ve babysat her almost daily since she was 3. This feels like a slap in the face. I would like to blame this due to her going through puberty but idk. Some things are set in stone.
 
Bluelady said:
snip
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kids can be vicious little things when it comes to some of the stuff they say, especially when they’re going through puberty. i won’t tell you to not take it personally as i know how hard that is, but i’m sure she didn’t mean it. if you’ve been babysitting her on an almost regular basis since she was 3 years old, then that’s testament to how good of an aunt you are. not a lot of people would be willing to babysit that much, or that often, but i’m sure your niece appreciates it and knows how awesome you are. //virtual hugs
 
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xara said:
kids can be vicious little things when it comes to some of the stuff they say, especially when they’re going through puberty. i won’t tell you to not take it personally as i know how hard that is, but i’m sure she didn’t mean it. if you’ve been babysitting her on an almost regular basis since she was 3 years old, then that’s testament to how good of an aunt you are. not a lot of people would be willing to babysit that much, or that often, but i’m sure your niece appreciates it and knows how awesome you are. //virtual hugs
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Thank you for your kind words! Yes, I do hope that this is just a phase.
 
So, there’s this girl I used to talk to at work.
(I actually posted about her a few times in here.) We were getting along very well. Things just went south… I know she left right after I took a leave, which I don’t know if I should’ve done? I needed to time away. I just don’t know if that was why she left. A part of me knows that’s the reason. I just need confirmation, I guess?

I also still think about her, even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s only been about three months, and I know she isn’t coming back. I tried reaching out once. I’m not even sure if she saw it or not, but she hasn’t responded. Unfortunately, once is enough for me. It’s just weird to me. To be on good terms and for it to go to nothing.

I’m actually doing well compared to how it would have been a few years ago. I’m not depressed or crying over her. I’m not constantly reaching out to her. I actually haven’t even asked her brother about her in over a month despite working with him a lot. It makes me happy to see how much control I actually have. I still think about her, but just a little bit less everyday. I need to forget about her completely, but I don’t know if I will? I keep seeing reminders of her without even trying. Heck, even her name got brought up in the latest episode of my favorite show. It’s definitely all a coincidence, right?

What’s bothering me, though? The fact that I have her one of her social media profiles in a tab on my phone. The fact that I refresh it because I want to see how she’s doing? Not constantly. Just once or twice a day… I reached a new level of stalker. I know I could easily just close that tab and no harm done, but a part of me just still cares about her. I know she doesn’t care about me, though. Otherwise, she would’ve reached out to me. I’m just confused with the whole situation. Is she mad at me that I left? I’d be mad too. I think I made a mistake, but is it really a mistake? It’s what I wanted at the time. I planned to take a longer leave (the whole winter). I just returned early because of her. She was in a bad situation at the time with an abusive boyfriend and I was worried. After returning, I never actually saw her again. Getting close with coworkers never ends well. Just filled with emotions over this...
 
I don’t know why I visit that awful town I used to live in (other than the fact my birth mom misses me). Yesterday I caught one of my high school bullies following me and I yelled at him to quit stalking me. Today his friends said he would hurt me. This isn’t the first time either. They said if I ever write about someone based on my abusive ex he’d hurt me too. Considering the fact he killed my dog I’m this very seriously. I wish I had proof to tell the police. These people have gotten away with making my life miserable for nearly six years. I should be allowed to see my family without getting threats.
 
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