What's Bothering You?

Yoshi155 said:
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Please never feel as if you can't vent here, that's what it's here for! You can write as much or as little as you want. I think I can safely say that people do care about you, here and in real life as others have probably felt the way you have at some point in their lives and can sympathise with you. No-one can ask anything else of you when you are trying your best. 🫂
 
These may seem silly, overthought, or read into too much, but here are some things on my mind/going on lately:

* My dad still plans on getting a dog once my grandparents' dog has passed. If you are wondering why my grandparents' dog passing matters, it is because my grandparents keep bring THEIR dog over here monthly JUST because my grandma gets monthly haircuts in a town a couple hours from here (I know, it's stupid), and my grandparents cannot be bothered to find another pet-sitter. He knows it can be disastrous to get a dog with this bull**** happening. I told my dad I was fine with him getting a dog later on, as long as it is when I am living on my own (granted, it could be a while - it may be a decade or two, until that happens, but still). But he then tells me is will probably get one while I am still here. He knows damn well I am uncomfortable around dogs. But my dad is insisting on getting one a lot sooner. He keeps going on and off about his decision. He is a bit of a dog-nutter, and I kinda understand one of the reasons he wants one (it can bark when someone is at the door), but at the same time, I think it is in my dad's best interest to not, even excluding me. He is a bit of a neat freak and plans to travel a bit in his life (especially when he retires), so I just so not think it is a good idea. I have already made it clear to him I want nothing to do with a dog, as there are people pet owners who like to travel, so they made their pets another person's problem (I am not talking about anyone here, mainly just my dog-nutter family members).

* My dad plans to go out to California in four years for the Olympics. I brought up not wanting to go, because I hate major vacations with a fiery burning passion. Then he told my brother that I can stay here and "take care of the house"....I do not know what he means by this... ._. It will be in four years; I will be more independent, but I still worry about his expectations then. Also, this goes back to my first point, but I am hoping my dad will not get a dog before than, because then I fear he will make it my problem, like when I stay him for things him and my brother go do.

* My dad plans on inviting one of my brother's friends over here for lunch, since he still be near the area. It may seem stupid, but the thought makes me feel uncomfortable and even left out. As for the "uncomfortable" part, dealing with chaos and being expected to act a certain way.

My dad gripes at me, because I do not like "inconvenience", but I cannot help having a low tolerance when it comes to certain things. Do not get me wrong, I do love him, but we clash. Severely. I really am yearning for the day I can live on my own, so I do not have to worry about this stuff anymore...or at least not as much. I do NOT plan to cut my family out of my life once I am living on my own, but I think it could be wise to distance myself a bit.

Edit: I should have edited this way earlier, but thankfully, my brother’s friend never came over that day. I still dread the day of it happening unless They’re just going to a sporting event together with mine and my brother’s dad. >_<
 
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I’m really depressed; I just took my medicine so it should kick in eventually.If I didn’t have things to do for the event still, I’d just want to go back to sleep. I hate today :/. Trying not to think about my friend.

I took a look at the Brick program that a friend saw was available on the iphone, but I have no idea what to do and with two drawings I’m working on, don’t think I’ll have time to figure it out. Considering buying a classic set of random pieces even though I already spent about $100 on the event.

Sorry for being annoying about event stuff again. I’m really having a lot of fun and love it; I’m just a bit stressed.
 
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So the main worry I have, is my youngest which I think has cat/chin acne and he keeps scratching and theres bad patches with no fur. I am HOPING I get some sort of money from UC, so I could use that to take him to the vets.
But I am hoping it sorta goes away on its own?
He still hasnt been done since I haven't had time to save for it, or for the injections. Why is money such a hassle.
 
I'm really struggling with the fact that my social skills suck and my ability to read other people sucks. I just wish I could understand things people say and do better. I cannot read between the lines. I can't understand things from very few words, or actions for that matter. I'm just tired.
 
Today my sister and my niblings move away. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate and finish my invitation entry by the end of the day with my feelings all a mess right now.

Getting that Celeste plushie collectable is going to be a real challenge.
 
One of the communities I help moderate (notably, one of 2) just decided this morning Im no longer a staff member without telling me! I just had to log on today and find out via a friend that Ive been removed from all roles. Although Im hurt by the removal itself, since Ive been doing community moderation for various servers and platforms since 2016 and would argue Ive been doing a good job, Im mostly stunned that nobody told me.
I've been sent some messages from within the staff chat where they say they removed me because I was inactive (not sure how 7000 messages in a few weeks is inactive but go off I guess) and say Im welcome to reapply when Im active again but none of this has been said directly to me! And while the owner is saying this in the staff chat she is actively ignoring my private message to her where I ask why nobody felt it was important to tell me. Some of the other mods are pissed, I think some of the other mods will be feeling the same but in secret because of the messy structure of the community. The owner of the server is inefficient and ill-suited to the role at best, but like many others I've bitten my tongue because I really love the community we have and I had respect for the owner... I don't think I have that same feeling of respect anymore and I wish I had been more vocal about the issues I see within the community. Its whatever, I guess the time I devoted means very little to this community and I will bear that in mind in the future. As for me being 'welcome to come back' if they feel Im active enough again..... I don't think I will be doing that. I will stay in my other moderation position where I am respected and communicated with if there's an issue. Thats how they held onto me for so many years, its a shame this community couldn't have done the same.

Maybe its time to look for new horizons. If I cry about it may be a tad dramatic but I need to feel the sadness to let go and acknowledge how damn unprofessional and rude this situation is lol.
 
ali.di.magix said:
I'm really struggling with the fact that my social skills suck and my ability to read other people sucks. I just wish I could understand things people say and do better. I cannot read between the lines. I can't understand things from very few words, or actions for that matter. I'm just tired.
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unfortunately, I can relate to this ;-;
 
ali.di.magix said:
I'm really struggling with the fact that my social skills suck and my ability to read other people sucks. I just wish I could understand things people say and do better. I cannot read between the lines. I can't understand things from very few words, or actions for that matter. I'm just tired.
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my social skills have gotten better since I've been working in customer service for over a year now, but it definitely isn't something that comes naturally to me. there are still little quirks I have that aren't "socially acceptable" as well. part of me is scared that I might get fired from my job one day because I'm not presenting myself the way I'm expected to (though in that case wouldn't it be bad on their part, as they're firing me because of a disability? I dunno).

I say that society is crafted in a way that is catered to, and intuitive to, neurotypical people, but not neurodiverse/disabled people. and then we get punished for not behaving like a neurotypical person. it sucks, but that's the norm apparently.


edit: my phone created a typo hsjfgsjdkavsj
 
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