What's Bothering You?

[Roxxy]

As

Spoiler

I understand that my mom is genuinely worried about me taking this trip, but honestly she's treating me as if I'm not an adult with 24 years under my belt. she's still in a mindset as if I'm 15 and still very naive and ignorant. like I appreciate the concern, but I wish she would understand that this isn't just something I'm doing all willy-nilly, there's a lot of planning and research and preparation going into this. I'll always have my own safety in mind and I'll definitely be bringing things to protect myself if need be. and of course I'll be sure that I'm fully financially stable so nothing bad happens.

I don't know, I'm still gonna go regardless, because I am in fact in my mid-20s and I need to get out and have actually decent experiences in my life, and not always be stuck in cornfield Ohio. I just want to start living my own life and not having my parents constantly breathing down my neck. I need to live a little.

My son is 20. It is so hard sometimes to see your baby grown up but that is my problem. You raise your children to be responsible adults and I treat him as an adult.

You are young and you need to enjoy life. I’m not your mum but I do care so just as I always say to my son, have fun but take care and stay safe

 

[xSuperMario64x]

could've sworn I took my allergy med this morning, yet here I am dealing with a sinus headache

hopefully ibuprofen will take it away, I think I'll still enjoy my evening but it's really not helping my tiredness and fatigue.

 

[Foreverfox]

That feeling when you’re hungry, but nauseous and bloated. Blah.

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[Zane]

I have no outlet for my constant misery and sorrow

 

[Violet Witch]

For the better part of this year I've felt like I've been standing in a long dark tunnel and anytime I reach the light at the end of the tunnel I'm pulled back in and I'm back to square one with my feelings that make me feel like pants. I hate this vicious cycle that I know what will help alleviate it but it feels like it's never going to come. I just want to feel like me again and stop fixating on silly little things that I swear brings on bouts of anxiety.

 

[KittenNoir]

.

 

[ali.di.magix]

I don’t normally post but so grateful for my friends on here so here goes

I am still around and checking in as here is my happy place. I know my lineup post was a bit cryptic but ok breathe. My beautiful mum died yesterday and my heart is broken.

Thank you for all the love and support. I am so very grateful. You know who you are. Ily

Aww Roxxy, I'm so sorry to hear that! My condolences to you and your family at this time I wish you the best while you grieve, and be patient with yourself on your journey that comes along with it if you ever need to vent, my DMs are always open!

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Spoiler: TW: death

found out today that a workmate of mine passed away this weekend I only spent a short amount of time with him, but he was so funny and full of life and always had a good joke with him. I remember having a great time at the pub with him and others RIP my friend

 

[Kitsuragi]

I cant talk about the reasoning on this site but I had the WORST panic attack of my life last night and my body still hurts. I almost called 911. I knew why it was happening so I knew it wasn't a heart attack, but it legit hurt me so badly. I still feel like ****. I hate anxiety so much.

 

[Eevees]

Bit sad/happy. My male cat is being rehomed he hasnt been very happy recently with the other two cats. He will be going to a great home/place but I feel sad still.

 

[Croconaw]

I hate closing and I have three in a ****ing row, tic tac toe. I hate closing at this job.

Someone quit and I’m stuck closing until she can find someone else. Then she has to find my replacement before I go to the job I prefer full time. I did the right thing, but I hope this doesn’t take too long.

I closed at the other job Saturday night. I don’t mind it there. At all. It’s what I have mostly been doing and I haven’t been stressed at all. Not once. At the other job… I hate closing and especially weekends. I don’t have to do weekends there unless it’s an extreme emergency. I’m clearly happier at the other place. I’m glad I’m transferring, but it’s just a bunch of closes (which I’d be flipping out if they were not double shifts for me since apparently it’s okay to leave it like this???) I don’t want to give it my all for someone who doesn’t give a ****. And I’m definitely not working after anyone else.

If I come into this almost every morning I may as well be closing, WTH.

Spoiler: asdgcbdncbf

 

[-Raven-]

sigh… I’m going to cut the vagueness in my pressure to be perfect and how I feel I can’t upset others for a little. Tonight I asked my boyfriend what I should do since I was bored and he just… forgot the timezone difference. It was midnight here and he asked how the weather was and suggested walking around my yard.
I literally have my timezone automatically converted in my Discord profile with a unix code for stuff like this, he’s done this before, I literally pointed it out to him when I added it last week, I’m just, and so I get upset about this… so I hop off and let him know for two hours to try and take care of myself and come back to some of his worst self-loathing and he goes back to sleep. I’m so tired of this.

Crap like this is why I feel like I can never rest. Even when I take the time to and take responsibility for my own frustration, I’m either not able to actually rest because I’m sick in that time, or my neighbours spontaneously blast music, or my parents spontaneously argue, or there’s spontaneously construction… or maybe I could have got rest and I come back to see things got worse anyway. Rest is a myth apparently.

I’ve tried so much from giving eachother space, to trying to have a mature chat, to focusing on more “fun” stuff, etc. At some point it genuinely feels like it would be easier to act perfect, mask around absolutely everyone, etc. and act like I don’t have problems. It feels like everyone around me wants to avoid rather than confront and fix problems, and I can’t cover for them on my own any more, and I feel like a negative presence over it. I just feel this absolutely insane pressure to be perfect. Honestly, I put my absolute best effort in to my art and my relationship and my home life during camp 2023, and it feels like even that wasn’t good enough, so I guess I just have to be perfect.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

hate when I'm feeling things but I can't describe said feelings :,,,,,,)

I wonder if that's just anxiety haha rip

edit: also I keep gaslighting myself and I really need to stop

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m so bored right now.

 

[LadyDestani]

My brother. I try to keep in mind that he has mental illnesses and can't help everything he does, but he's so selfish, narcissistic, and rude literally all the time. At a certain point, I can't help but believe that some of his bad traits are actually a part of his personality versus things that are out of his control. I get so infuriated by the way he treats my mom like dirt when she bends over backwards to help him every single time he asks. And he tells her she's mean and the worst mother in the world just because she can't make his life perfect.

Sorry, I really needed to get that off my chest.

 

[-Raven-]

I wish I could draw without worrying about how good it is. It’s another perfectionist thing because I feel like it’s the only thing where I can apply my critical thinking to something tangible. It’s my only obvious “skill” and if I drop below 90% it falls to like 5% quality. I don’t feel like it’s even a thing to express myself anymore but something that gives me stress because I want it to work that way and I was proud of my improvement before but too much happened. Every day I get depressed that I’m not having fun drawing and quickly falling back into the “can’t even look at art, too much envy and bitterness, everything everywhere reminds me of it” mindset.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

kind of a minor bother, but I want to figure out how to play the opening piano solo on the song Harbor Lights and I'll have to listen to it and transcribe it myself so I can figure out all the notes.

I haven't looked to see if anyone else has made a transcription, but to be honest I don't want to look at others' transcriptions anyways, because way too often I find ones that have lots of wrong notes. I have a very sensitive ear when it comes to music and I can easily pick up on stuff like that. not to mention it's hard to even find a good transcription for The Way It Is, the only song of his that still plays on the radio, much less a song of his that's prob never gotten any radio time at all.

I don't mind doing it, it's just a bit of a tedious process. especially when the music I'm trying to transcribe has a lot of relatively thick chords and dissonances. I'll prob end up spending at least a few hours on this. but I know it'll be worth it when it's done.


edit: oh actually there's something slightly more major that's bothering me, some feelings and emotions are incredibly difficult to process and it's so frustrating honestly. trying to just let them have their place but they're taking their sweet old time, not passing like I wish they would. I don't know what to do haha

 

[Soigne]

my life feels so stagnant!! so stale!!!!!! nothing i do brings any change!!!!! oh well

 

[themysterybidder]

My brother. I try to keep in mind that he has mental illnesses and can't help everything he does, but he's so selfish, narcissistic, and rude literally all the time. At a certain point, I can't help but believe that some of his bad traits are actually a part of his personality versus things that are out of his control. I get so infuriated by the way he treats my mom like dirt when she bends over backwards to help him every single time he asks. And he tells her she's mean and the worst mother in the world just because she can't make his life perfect.

Sorry, I really needed to get that off my chest.

I know exactly how you feel. My brother is 43 and still lives at home and this describes him perfectly. It's as if there is always an atmosphere wondering when he's going to throw his next tantrum.

 

[Croconaw]

I’m closing tonight at my one job and it’s stressing me tf out. It’s not even noon yet and I already slammed my hands against my head. I almost gave myself internal bleeding. There’s this cool thing where if you’re good, you can do everyone else’s job. The one person quit so now I’m stuck covering all of these closes? Isn’t it the manager’s job to cover these shifts? I feel like a bad person complaining. I’d feel like one saying no when they say “I’m gonna have to put you back on closes until I find someone.” Even though it’s mentally draining.