The out of context quotes thread

“Mother Teresa wasn’t beautiful yet millions of people loved her.”
“Didn’t she like die right after Diana but no one noticed because she was ugly?”
 
Wake up! Which one of you broke the Hall of Sorrows?
Don't know. Why? What was supposed to happen?
Those walls are supposed to crush you and then scolding hot oil comes out of the jackal's mouth.
Sorry. We missed it.
Oh, yeah, of course! Oil! Yeah. Makes sense now. Thought you told me to fill it with hot voil.
What? What the hell is voil?
It's a soft sheer fabric. I warmed some up in the dryer.
What the? Are you insane?! What kind of torture is that? Get out of here! I'm serious. I don't even want to look at you anymore. Believers these days! What happened to the annoying one?
We ate him.
I'm losing my patience.
 
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you weren’t chasing me.”
“What can I say? You tempted me.”
“By taking a bath?! You’ve got problems!”
 
“These two often rest snugly, but sometimes sleepy Kirby inhales Elfilin right up. And then Kirby starts chewing. Kirby! Elfilin is NOT made of mint ice cream!”
 
Run! Run! As fast as you can! Can’t catch me! I’m the Ginger-
*Gingerbread Man runs right into a closed window. The old woman who made him looks sternly at him*
Not so fast, cookie!
 
“Isn’t it true that your wife, aunt, cousin, AND sister are all the same person?”
*Little People Farmer figure smiles uncomfortably*
 
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Raisins?”
“Raisins are nature’s candy.”
“Then why do they have to cover them in chocolate to sell them at the movies?”
 
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