The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“This is what I think of your music!”
*Tim starts making a racket with a theremin while holding a vibrating egg that is progressively getting worse to listen to*
“Stop it! Stop doing that, you idiot!”
*Tim increases his movements’ intensity to the point the Guinea pig starts screaming*
“STOP MAKING THAT NOISE!!!!!!!”
*Tim continues to make the horrible sounds. The Guinea pig continues to scream in pain when it suddenly explodes into a pile of fluff, horrifying Tim and Jade*
“FOR BLEEP’S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I didn’t know that would happen….”

 

[Bruscoe]

“Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?”
“You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.”
“One more crack like that and you're out of here!”
“No, please! I have three kids!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“That was quite a load
To have to explode.
What a lovely lass.
I had to blow up her [butt]!
And now I must hit the road!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Do you have problems putting your words in a colostomy bag?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Helga! Stop eating your fringe!”
“You shouldn’t have made out of bacon.”

 

[Elodieiscool]

I do not want a guillotine at our wedding

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Eat grape?

"I don't wanna eat the grape."

Eat grape?

"I don't wanna eat the grape!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“It’s not healthy to be dead that long.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Soooo tell me about your family.”
“Don’t have one. Only child. My parents are dead.”
“All of them?”
“Well there were only two.”
“I-I see.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t like it was a bloodbath or anything.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oooooooo! Is it time for us to eat our babies?”

 

[floatingzoo]

"This gig is about as permanent as origami tofu."

 

[QueenCobra]

“How did he know I wanted a beer?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Have you ever dated a black woman?”
“No.”
“Then you wouldn’t understand.”
“I’ve only dated Jewish women.”
“Ohhhhh! Then you can understand!”

 

[Chronos314_XD]

"I'M PROJARED AND I CHEATED ON MY WIFE!!" 🗣🗣

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Take Fake Harley here and show her the ropes.”
“This job has a 401K plan, right?”
“Uh sure.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Joker: Shoot the kids and drown the neighbors. We’ve got a winner!
Fake Harley (Speaking with a very irritating voice): Oooo thank you Mr G! I promise to be the best Harley ever! *Starts laughing in an annoying way*
Joker: Ugh! Maybe I should have hired the fat guy.

 

[QueenCobra]

“I got silver hairs but I also got silver bullets.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"jims jam is the jimmiest jam that ever jammed"