The out of context quotes thread

[Yanrima~]

"I love the Power Glove, it's so bad."

 

[You got mail!]

“Max said that volcanos were cool and you were stupid for wanting to stop it and when I told him to shut up he pulled out a gun and shot at me.”

“Nuh-uh! Sam started it!”

 

[You got mail!]

"Does might make right?"

"It might."

"He's right."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I hope you’re happy!”
“I didn’t think that I’d be this happy.”

 

[You got mail!]

"They'll be serving ice cream in hell before I let that happen."

 

[QueenCobra]

“I have five cats; three are ghosts.”
—my little cousin

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Slash isn't real. He's a made-up person that represents care and giving, and people dress up like him and lie to their kids."

"Slash is make-believe?"

"Here, look for yourself. He's based on the fable of a Dutch saint named Vunter Slash."

"Vunter Slash?"

"What?"

"But then... Who played at my 8th birthday party?"

"One of our parents."

"But then... Who was the guitar player for Guns N' Roses?!"

"One of our parents."

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m not dumb! I just like nice things that make me happy! At least I don’t want to fight and be mean all the time like some people!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What’s wrong with Teacher? Nugget saw her running by him looking sad.”
*She snapped*
“So Nugget isn’t the craziest person in the school anymore?”
*Apparently not*
“This pleases Nugget! Nugget will wear his new badge of sanity with honor.”

 

[Ravenkitty22]

“He looks like a Mexican Aaron Burr with a longer chin.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What can Nugget do for large Teacher Lady?”
“I need some of your hair. Give me some now!”
“No! Large Teacher Lady cannot have any of Nugget’s hair. He requires all of it.”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"um, Donald Trump just **** himself" -poofesure

 

[Ravenkitty22]

“I can’t tell if I love the feeling of a necklace on my skin right now or I hate it.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“This is Billy’s body. His head was removed without his consent.”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"in hindsight, the human brain is not very good at distinguishing between what actually happened, what was in a dream, what was in Mario 64, versus what was in the Dungeons & Dragons campaign that you played." - Any Austin

 

[QueenCobra]

“Look at how soft my man is!”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"he has the aura of a watermelon" - Any Austin

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’ll get some sticks and stones and break your bones!”

 

[BakaRina]

"Just so you know, if you go to prison, I won't wait for you."
"You won't have to. I'll escape. We both know this."