The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Oh, no! This can’t be happening! What the hell are we gonna do with 10,000 angel ashtrays?

I could take up smoking.

You damn well better.

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m scared, Daddy! Too scared to even wet my pants!

 

[Yoshi155]

Why are we getting dressed up, Mom? Are we going to Black Angus?

Well, you might say we’re going to the best steakhouse in the whole universe.

So we’re not going to Black Angus.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Look! It’s a pink Lickitung!”
“You idiot! Lickitung has always been pink!”

 

[Suguri]

Hey beautiful lady do you want to go on a date with me?

I am not a lady I am just one of those dogs with long hair so no thanks to that date.

ZOO-WEE MAMA!

 

[QueenCobra]

"Trust the Duchess when she says this. Y'all thought y'all had packed me? It ain't over just yet, baby.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Old woman is hurling potted plants at Officers Dangle and Jones from the roof of an old apartment and screaming at them*
“YOU SOBS WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!”
*Dangle speaks from a megaphone while Jones is holding a police shield*
“Ma’am, you need to calm down and come down from there. You’ve been given an eviction notice.”
“I’M NOT LEAVING!”
*More potted plants are thrown*
“Eventually you’re going to run out plants.”
“BITE ME!”
“Oh that is it!”
*Dangle picks up a brick off the ground and hurls it at the old woman and it hits her and she loses her balance and falls face down on top of a parked car and sets off the car alarm*
“Oh no. Run! Run away now!”

 

[Suguri]

Greg Heffley, will you please do this problem?

Your mama!

Excuse me?

Your big fanny granny!

Well, I hardly think that's...

Your slap-happy grandpappy!

 

[Yoshi155]

Aw, here’s a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It’s called “let’s go already!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Wow! The interesting thing about that is *snores*

 

[-Blue-]

I suppose it technically is possible. Though I am already in my pajamas...

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, I’m just glad I didn’t live to see this day. Hey, wait a second. *checks pulse* NOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

[QueenCobra]

“She's my grandma, she's my grandma

And she doesn't shut her trap
She doesn't shut her trap

I take it for five minutes
But after six I say...

Shut your face, Grandma!”

 

[Yoshi155]

We flipped a coin before the debate, and Bender stole it, so we’ll start with him.

 

[Suguri]

Happy birthday, Poopsie!

Baah!

 

[Yoshi155]

Ahhh. I love these lazy Saturdays.

It’s Wednesday, Homer.

*screams* Work!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I am the Cheese. I am the best character on the show. I am better than the Salami and Bologna combined.”

 

[Suguri]

It's the 4th of July which is Independence Day in the United States which means it's time to celebrate our freedom and blind patriotism. There's no better way to celebrate than to light up some Chinese made fireworks.
-a TBTer

 

[QueenCobra]

“And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband's colon, he's gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer."