The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

It’s from the kidnappers. My nephew is alive! And he’s… in this envelope.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Wow, they named the town around the castle Castle Town?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Out of all my common law relatives, you are the one I find the most attractive.”
*Puppets Woody Allen and Soon-Yi start making out when Puppet Mia Farrow walks in with her adopted children*
“I came back because I- *Gasp* You pervert!”
“Gee what a horrible thing to call your own daughter.”
“HOW COULD YOU?! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”
*Puppet Mia starts throwing things at Woody as she continues to scream at him as Soon-Yi stands to the side and the adopted children puppets start jumping up and down and chanting a singsong*
“Common law Daddy’s a pervert! Common law Daddy’s a pervert!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, is it safe to talk while you’re flying?

Oh, totally. This thing’s hands-free. That’s how I can eat this taco. And this spaghetti.

*crashes*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I love international day! I got Italy!”
“I got China!”
“I got Iraq….”

 

[Suguri]

You will be betrayed by a person with an "A" in his name.

My dad?

Hey, you said it, pal, not me.

 

[Yoshi155]

That is low, Bender, even by your standards.

My what now?

 

[Yoshi155]

Play it one more time!

No! It’s humiliating and degrading to Leela. Play it ten more times.

 

[Suguri]

Mustard on my turnips, pleeaaase!

 

[Yoshi155]

Leela!

Fry, I came to talk to you.

No, I came to talk to you.

It looked like you were just sitting there, but whatever.

 

[Yoshi155]

Principal Skinner, remember how I didn’t sue when I found that scorpion in my applesauce? Well, I’m calling in a favor.

…I knew this day would come.

 

[Suguri]

My turtle Fred
He is not dead
He sleeps in his shell
And when he does die
I guess he will smell

 

[Yoshi155]

It could be anything. It could be a mutant from the nuclear plant.

Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers… oops, I’ve said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray.

You mean the revolver, sir?

 

[Suguri]

Step, step, step, no, no, no! Plop, plop, plop, in I go!

 

[Midoriya]

"But I believe, AangUS BEEF can save the world..."

*Avatar opening music continues to play as Katara continues speaking*

"Presenting a new flair on an old recipe, Aangus Beef and Aangus Beef Deluxe... made with only the highest quality meat, not processed, and includes plenty of essential vitamins and minerals... Aangus Beef and Aaangus Beef Deluxe are better than your average wholesale meats. Try them today, please... don't let the Fire Nation kill all of our favorite meat."

*The rest of the cast looks confused as heck, but then Uncle Iroh raises his hand*

"I'll buy one!"

 

[QueenCobra]

“Let me tell you somethin’: bacon is good for me!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Dad, it’s not fair to claim this thing is an angel. There’s no proof of that.

No one’s calling it an angel, Lisa. If you look carefully, you’ll notice I never once used the word “angel.”

What about that sign right there?

That’s a typo.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Everyone gets off the bus in a dangerous and unattractive section of the city. The Debbie’s are whimpering and holding each other*
“It’s going to be okay girls. We’re finally out of the awful wilderness.”
*A bear suddenly appears and grabs one of the Debbie’s in its mouth and runs off with her screaming *
“Hmmmm. Queer.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Pfft. Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true. Facts, schmacts.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Ha ha! Evil never triumphs against a truly obsessive fan!"

"Yeah! Evil never triumphs over an oscillating fan!"