The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Why is it still blurry?

That’s all the resolution we have. Making it bigger doesn’t make it clearer.

It does on CSI: Miami.

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, I just wish I understood why. …why I should care.

 

[Suguri]

See, that's the problem with putting too much stock in the old days. You remember all the GOOD stuff, but you forget about the time you got spanked by your best friend's mom.

 

[Yoshi155]

Does anyone else feel aroused and jealous and worried?

I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.

 

[Yoshi155]

What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say. What the hell’s wrong with you?

I’m not quite sure.

 

[Suguri]

You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The end.

 

[Yoshi155]

Why isn’t Leela back yet? You think she’s okay?

How should I know? And how come you never ask if I’m okay? I’m feeling a little neglected here.

Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Bender?

Shut up!

 

[Yoshi155]

These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Remember, there is no 'I' in Team America."

"Yes, there is."

 

[QueenCobra]

“The country runs better with a good-looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to f him, so he f’ed everyone.“

 

[Yoshi155]

Who were you talking to?

No one. Your mama. Shut up. Take your pick.

 

[Suguri]

Dear Greg-

It's ovor.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“”Promise you won’t forget once the margaritas wear off?”
“Ha haha! Honey, they never wear off!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Ew! That’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen!

Really? Then don’t look over there.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“How about you drive, dear?”
*Pickles lights a lighter and blows on the flame which suddenly bursts outward into an even larger flame*
“I’m good for wielding but driving is totally out of the question.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Wait, I thought we were buying our eyePhones online.

We are on line.

*reveals that they’re standing in line*

But I thought the Mom Store was across town.

It is across town.

*the camera pans to show how long the line is*

But I thought-

Stop thinking, Fry!

 

[QueenCobra]

“It’s not Al anymore…it’s DUNK.”
“Dunkaccino?”
“Don’t mind if I do!”

 

[Suguri]

Dear Lord, please let Mr. Jefferson get hit on the head so he forgets about the money I owe him. And please let me get past the third level of Twisted Wizard without having to use any of my bonus health packs. Amen, and thank you in advance.

 

[Yoshi155]

I wish I knew how long we’ve been waiting.

The eyePhone has an app for that!

Is there an app for kissing my shiny, metal ass?

Several!

Ooh!

 

[Yoshi155]

Okay, it’s $500, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold a charge, and the reception isn’t very-

Shut up and take my money!