The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Unattractive family are standing and talking to Duchess*
“Now if we adopt you, will you promise to be good?”
“Now if I let you adopt me, will you promise to be less ugly?”
*Everyone in the family except the daughter gasp in shock at the insult*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"We'll be right outside, protecting you from the evil viper who looms in the shadows to do horrible, unspeakable things to you, while you innocently slumber."

 

[Yoshi155]

It got Zoidberg!

Oh, I never knew how much I’d miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"ONE MILLION DOLLARS?! Oh, one million calories. The price is… ONE MILLION DOLLARS?!?!"

 

[Suguri]

My mom brought me some apple juice and then I took a drink and she yelled urine..
I spat it on her by accident.
-a TBTer

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m sorry. I should have asked what was bothering you. I’ve been kind of preoccupied.

With what?

Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, and now I’m pope of a new religion.

Weren’t you already pope of something?

No.

Oh… well, I’m just saying I’d like you to show an interest in my life, too.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’ll call you Sunny Muffins!”
“My name is Pegasus!”
*Little girl cracks whip repeatedly on ‘Sunny Muffins’*
“Your name is Sunny Muffins! Say it! What’s your name?”
“S-S-Sunny Muffins!”
“There you go!”
*Little girl hugs Sunny Muffins*
“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Stop plucking my leg, you lazily-rendered stereotype!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You Jezaboozle!”
“Jezebel.”
“You stole my man!”
“Your man? He throws rocks at dogs.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Your universe dresses provocatively.

Does not!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Consider yourselves lucky, because when I find the person who did this, I’m gonna turn their faces into mashed potatoes with butter and gravy… Oh, man, mashed potatoes with gravy was one of the doughnut flavors!" *Starts crying*

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m deeply sorry. I’m… I’m a big clumsy jerk!

I know you are, but what am I?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Is that your daughter?"

"Why is she so angry?"

"Did she just find out she’s related to you?"

 

[Yoshi155]

Here you go! *kicks long lost son into a pool of lava*

…wow. That was pretty brutal, even by my standards.

No backsies!

 

[Suguri]

It's like, no. This forum shouldn't even exist.

-a TBTer

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"So that crab was also his daughter…?"

"Duh-uh! It’s called character development."

 

[Yoshi155]

That’s the second time he’s pulled the plug on me. *laugh track*

 

[QueenCobra]

*pats butt* “Good work, Gary. That ice monster can’t hurt us now. What’s everybody looking at?”

“NOTHING!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Well, that’s all the time we have. So, this is the Simpsons family saying, “as you walk down that road of life…”

Hitchhike. It’s faster.

 

[Suguri]

I like to fart around it