The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

If Hermes were here, he’d fire you all.

I am here!

Quiet, you!

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘I don’t know what’s happening, it seems our profits have dropped 37%.’
‘I think we have a bad image. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.’
‘I ought to club them and eat their bones!’

 

[Yoshi155]

What’s the secret to time travel doing on Fry’s ass?

It was bound to be somewhere.

 

[Yoshi155]

Like all rich people, we’re gonna need weapons to shoot poor people.

In self defense?

Yes, that too.

 

[QueenCobra]

“What is the biggest obstacle that celebrity couples face?”

“Could be the Mafia. Scientologists. Could be a billionaire, a friend that you threatened to sue.”

“Punxsutawney Dr. Phil, that doesn’t make any sense!”

“I am a mental health professional.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey! I don’t tell you how to tell me what to do, so don’t tell me how to do what you tell me to do!

 

[Yoshi155]

And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?

Don’t say revenge, don’t say revenge.

Uh, revenge.

That’s it. I’m gettin’ out of here.

(Homer’s brain walks out and slams the door)

 

[QueenCobra]

“Hey dudes, if you want warm nuts all over your face, there's only one choice: our Chick-Fil-A hot fudge sundae!”

 

[Suguri]

It's not LordBrossIsBack! It's BabyFirstTV! I hate BabyFirstTV! -2016 me

Make rock for brubber -???

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Where did you get crack?”
“From Black’s.”
“What?!”
“Black’s Hardware. There’s a white guy in the back selling it.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Aw, don’t blame yourself, Bender.

I don’t blame myself. I blame all of you!

Us? How can you possibly blame us?

It ain’t easy. It just proves how great I am.

 

[Yoshi155]

Four… three… two… one… boom! *laughs but then actually explodes*

 

[QueenCobra]

“Roses are red, violets are blue…with God as my witness, I will kill you.”

—Punxsutawney Dr. Phil, Conan

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“ARE YOU EATING?! YOU SAID WE HAD TO WAIT FOR FATHER AND TINY TIM TO COME HOME!”
“I wasn’t eating. I was just tasting it. And don’t shout, Belinda.”
“I’m Bettina!”
“I’m Belinda!”
“Right. Now go sit down at the table, Belinda.”
“Bettina!”
*Miss Piggy breaks the fourth wall by staring at the viewer looking annoyed*
“Whatever.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Come on, kids. Let’s go home.

We are home.

That was fast.

 

[Yoshi155]

God, he eats like a pig.

I don’t know. Pigs tend to chew. I’d say he eats more like a duck.

I’ve never seen him do any work around here. What is his job?

Safety inspector.

That irresponsible oaf? A man who, by all rights, should have been killed dozens of times by now?

316 times, by my count.

 

[Yoshi155]

Hi, Grimy, old buddy.

I’m not your buddy, Simpson! I don’t like you. In fact, I hate you. Stay the hell away from me! Because from now on… we’re enemies!

Okay. …do I have to do anything?

 

[Suguri]

Welcome to another episode of Romantic Karate. Stare eye to eye, as we poke each other's eyeballs out.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*A Tour Guide Rat leading a group of Tourist Rats on screen in the middle of scene where Miss Piggy and Kermit are talking*
“And here we have a photo opportunity you do not wanna miss! The actual location of the jungle seen in the movie Muppet Treasure Island.”
*Tourist Rats talk excitedly among themselves about the site*

 

[Yoshi155]

You might as well just pull Monopoly out of your closet and play that instead of this garbage.

Which one? You own, like, all of them.

I do not. I only have like 30 something.

Uhhh…

I don’t have a problem. You do.