The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“If only we were all wiener dogs our problems would be solved!”
“What?”

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

“Something Vimes had learned as a young guard drifted up from memory. If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat.

They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar.

So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”

 

[Yoshi155]

What, is my entire bloodline going to be cursed by Kazuya Mishima?

No. Mine is.

(Conversation I witnessed between my friends at school)

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"God damn those ****in' BEES!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You new kids are dumber than the monkeys whose brains I removed!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Why do you have your gun out?”
“The sky’s turned red! It could be an emergency!”
“What are you going to do? Shoot the sky?”

 

[QueenCobra]

“It’s TOIME ta go!”
—said by Len Goodman (R.I.P.) on Dancing with the Stars once…it became an inside joke with me and my family lol.

 

[Bruscoe]

"The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!"
"A subsidiary of Viacom."

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"a quarter cup? more like a whole frickin onion!" - me 5 seconds ago

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I know Eddie is Ralph’s father. Look at the hair. Look at the hair!”
“No Clancy! I swear it’s not true!”
*Eddie walks in holding Ralph’s hand*
“My son’s breath smells like cat food.”
“Okay. You got me.”

 

[Wolfsbane]

"We should play my song!"
"NO!"

 

[ShinyDungeoneer]

*dies fabulously*
-me on a different forum

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So this dog squirrel bear thing becomes the new pet at Horseland. What even is that thing?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I have to give a content warning for horse anorexia. So if you don’t want to hear about horse eating disorders then skip this part of the video.”

 

[Wolfsbane]

"What do I say if I need to stop?"
"... Stop?"
(She nods.)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“That’s right. This episode is about horse anorexia.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So the other horses fat shame Pepper….”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Oh my God, are you all right? Your head is huge.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“If they call people in India Indians then why don’t they call your people something else.”
“They do. It’s called Native Americans.”
“Whatever.”
“Chloe! You’re being super *toy squeaking* racist right now! What the heck?!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I'm actually 5,100 years old. The key to immortality is Dave's tears mixed with orange juice."