The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Phecdasolar]

Easy, don’t eat anything before bed that way you’re super hungry in the morning!

How do I destroy the sun?

 

[Midoriya]

Point your finger at it and go "pew pew!" Sun destroyed.

How do I exercise more often?

 

[Phecdasolar]

Tie a piece of raw steak to your back and walk in front of a wild feline. You’ll be fit in no time

How do I become a Cool Kid?

 

[Darkesque_]

Befriend the Koolaid Man

How do I make macaroni and cheese?

 

[Weiss Schnee]

You cut cheese into noodle shapes and then eat. Easy.

How do I test my mortal enemy before our big fight?

 

[Phecdasolar]

You see if your dog likes them or not. Animals have good instincts.

How do I graduate high school?

 

[Darkesque_]

Create chaos, they'll want you gone pretty fast.

How do I play the ukulele?

 

[Phecdasolar]

Take your fingers and caress the strings but do it really really fast boom you got it

How do get an animal to like me?

 

[Neb]

Make LOTS of noise. Like just loudly mimic the animal and they'll surely warm up to you.

How do I make tastier coffee?

 

[Phecdasolar]

Gallons and I mean GALLONS of sugar, add some milk too, makes it creamy

How do I get rid of someone I don’t like?

 

[moonbyu]

boil them in a comically large pot with hot water, soup and veggies and eat them

how do i get good grades?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Copy the answers off of the smart kid, even during tests and exams.

My cat won't stop meowing, what do I do?

 

[Yoshi155]

Light it on fire

How do I make a seafood boil?

 

[moonbyu]

steal your seafood directly from the public aquarium, throw it into some hot water, add some spices and vegetables and enjoy your seafood boil!

how do i look more mature?

 

[VernalLapin]

Dye your hair gray.

How do I make sure that I never ever get headaches again?

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

Chop off your head. I know it sounds barbaric, but it works. You can't have a headache without a head, right?
How do I make more time for myself?

 

[Croconaw]

Get a copier and throw a bunch of wall clocks on it. There you go, more time.

How do I get my cats to stop giving me allergies?

 

[-Blue-]

Have you tried asking them politely?

How do I stop writers block?

 

[Yoshi155]

Cut off the top of your head, dig into your brain and look around for an idea

How do I escape a shark attack?

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

Avoid any water in any capacity. Even water that logically wouldn't have any sharks, like tap water.
I can't stop obsessing over Claude. What should I do?