The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Kill Claude. It’s the only way to escape your obsession. It worked for Mark David Chapman and John Lennon.

How do I open a jar of pickles?

 

[Midoriya]

Bash your head into it until the lid comes off.

How do I remember more of the past?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Look at your brain’s history.

How do I brush my hair?

 

[Darkesque_]

Go to your nearest hardware store, grab a rake, and brush away

How do I become famous?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just plaster a photo of yourself everywhere in your area and people will start recognizing you!

How do I stay hydrated?

 

[Darkesque_]

Pour water on yourself and absorb it like a sponge. Ahhh, refreshing!

How do I get a job?

 

[Midoriya]

Improve yourself as a person.

How do I care more about things I should?

 

[NovariusHaze]

Drink lots of water

How do I make meatloaf?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

I suggest putting the meat straight into a loaf pan. You can use any kind of meat - Ground beef, pork chops, a whole chicken... Put it in the oven for a bit, and you got yourself some gourmet meat loaf!

How do I sleep earlier (preferably before 4 AM-ish)?

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

Start drawing something grandiose at around 11:30 or 12. It works for me.
This is going to sound stupid, but how do I identify a scam when I see one?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

When you get a call from someone.

Where is the nearest washroom?

Edit: Ninja'd

 

[-Blue-]

Where is the nearest washroom?

Edit: Ninja'd

Wherever you want it to be.

How do I stop wildlife from eating my vegetables?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Hire a guard to scare away any wildlife that goes near your garden.

How do I make coffee taste better?

 

[moonbyu]

travel to ethiopia and learn how to make coffee from scratch. you'll learn how to make coffee taste better in no time!

how do i get healthy?

 

[LateGamer]

travel to ethiopia and learn how to make coffee from scratch. you'll learn how to make coffee taste better in no time!

how do i get healthy?

Buy it at Nooks Cranny

How do I catch hard to get fish

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Drain either the pond, river, or ocean of water. Now you can look for the hard-to-get fish simply by walking and picking it up!

How do I take out the trash?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Take a trash bag out on a date, preferably a fancy restaurant or movie theatre. If it enjoyed it, you've successfully taken out the trash!

How do I not get bored of the same game that I've been playing for a few years now? (Tomodachi Life, AC:NH)

 

[. Rarity .]

Shh, its comitment. Dont let it hear you. I know relationships with games are hard, but Im sure the game is happy to be with you

You may need to have a one on one convo with your game. Those are usually the best solutions to relationships of all kinds
-
How do I ride a horse?

 

[LateGamer]

Shh, its comitment. Dont let it hear you. I know relationships with games are hard, but Im sure the game is happy to be with you

You may need to have a one on one convo with your game. Those are usually the best solutions to relationships of all kinds
-
How do I ride a horse?

Hop on, attach the safety belt and insert the coin. Then hang on for dear life.
How do I get my husband to actually do something…anything..desperate

 

[oath2order]

Lawyer up, hit the gym, and delete Facebook.

How do I stop posting on this forum?