The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Darkesque_]

Don't walk on the sidewalk.

How to cheat at poker?

 

[frogslime]

All I know of poker is that Lady Gaga song, but I think removing your face could be a good start?

How can I easily find out if there is an afterlife?

 

[arikins]

errr, die ? that sounds brutal. maybe invent time travel for the consciousness, then die, then go back in time to before u were dead so the people can marvel at ur discovery

what ever shall i do when i miss someone who's terrible for my well-being ? :,,(

 

[Neb]

Keep looking at your text history with them and ruminate on everything they did to you. (In all serious try to do the opposite of that)

How should I sort my video game, book, and record collections?

 

[NovariusHaze]

Sort by cursed to not cursed

How do I survive a bear attack?

 

[```]

Use giant inflatable boxing gloves to do a flurry of punches against the bear until the bear faints, and then run away as if nothing ever happened.

How can I instantly get some sleep?

 

[Clock]

Drink lots of milk

How can I get better at studying?

 

[pottercrossing]

Join or form a study group with people who are better at studying.

How do I know if I'm ready to move on from an ex?

 

[Neb]

Once you’re able to compare other people to them.

How do I cut belly fat?

 

[frogslime]

It seems you already have your answer. That's right! Carve out sections of your belly, literally! No, it is not recommended by professionals, but that's only because they're TERRIFIED of people who can accomplish such a feat! Become feared and revered.

What's the quickest way to make myself some new friends?

 

[.: Meri :.]

If you want speed, the best way is to charge strangers at full tilt and scream "BE MY FRIEND" at the top of your lungs. This makes your intentions clear and spares everyone the trouble of introductions and small talk, increasing your friend count at the most efficient rate.

How can I learn to lucid dream?

 

[Neb]

Pace in your room before bed. You’ll be so hyper alert that you’ll be able to lucid dream.

How do I improve my attention span?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Easy, get rid of all distractions. Including people. With violence.

How do I cease my craving for sweets?

 

[pulper]

Simply remove the taste buds, sweets won't seem so good once you can't taste them.

How do I become happy?

 

[Beanz]

get rid of everyone and everything, replace them with cute kittens to get that juicy serotonin

how can i get cookie’s (the ac villager) picture?

 

[Xara]

eat her.

how do i get rid of my fatigue?

 

[VanitasFan26]

Go to sleep

How to cook for yourself?

 

[-Blue-]

1. Print out pictures of food.
2. Get scented markers that smell like foods.
3.Color pictures in to add the smell.
4.Eat it.

I need to write an essay for school.

 

[TurnipBell20]

Google essays on that topic and print one out.

I want to stop thinking of her. What can I do?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Just stop thinking about her, it's that simple.

How do I get my brother to stop annoying me?