Describe That Game...Poorly

[Acruoxil]

Think of a game that you like. Any game. Now, in the worst way possible, describe that game. And try to avoid typical responses, like how Pokemon is glorified dog/rooster fighting, how Mario is an omnicidal maniac, or how Final Fantasy isn't the final fantasy, so on and so forth. And remember: Make sure it's a game you like.

For an example, here's mine.


Roller Coaster Tycoon: You're an omniscient, all seeing god that creates a bunch of lame rides and stalls, overprices everything, and tries to fit it all into a specific time frame so you can earn an imaginary trophy.

 

[Shimmer]

Katamari is a game where you are a big hungry ball, similar to Kirby, and you just inhale everything in sight.

 

[DarkDesertFox]

This would be a fun game for The Basement section.

If I had to describe Super Monkey Ball 2 in a few words they would be "monkey ball fetish." That's right. The game is about monkeys who feel they are hamsters trapped inside of a monkey body and in order to prove it they roll through dangerous stages trapped in a hamster ball. In the end, they cannot resist their lust for bananas and expose themselves as the monkeys they are by bathing in bananas at the end of the game.

 

[Kuroh]

Splatoon is a game where first you're a kid and then you morph into Squidward and suddenly there's ink everywhere

 

[Tao]

The epic adventure of the legendary hero, box.

Don't get caught by the many docile 'not Americans' who patrol the hostile lands of 'snow place', or they'll kick you to reveal your human innards! Spoopy!

Use your wit, guile and ability to fit into small square areas as you duck and dive from the likes of 'bird man', 'the bondage guy', 'captain cowboy' and 'Gundam'.

A timeless adventure of a box who has to lather himself in ketchup and make friends with a 30 year old weeaboo with bladder issues, all so he can retire and buy some dogs.


- Metal Gear Solid -





The heartbreaking tale of a guy who's dad is a whale.

- Final Fantasy X -

 

[That Zephyr Guy]

10 people walk down hallways towards each other and scream at everyone near them.

 

[Mega_Cabbage]

An magical hobo wakes up in the middle of a field with no memories and the prince of a high kingdom hires them as their tactician. The hobo is actually a dragon that has issues with himself and manages to get killed by stabbing himself.

FE: Awakening

 

[Shimmer]

A person takes rping as Pokemon to a whole new level when they suddenly awaken as a Pokemon and then can live happily among their Pokemon friends.

Any Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game.

 

[tali-zorah-vas-nerd]

You fail at protecting someone so you kill in revenge

Dishonored

 

[Jawile]

Old World Blues: Jazz, robots, and innuendo.

Honest Hearts: Scary tribals are threatening not scary tribals

 

[ibelleS]

"Eighteen years ago, I lost my dear friend Randall" "Quit telling everyone I'm dead" "Sometimes I can still hear his voice" (Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask)

 

[~NinfiaLazuli~]

You are a mute person and you have no idea what you look like but WHATEVER lets join a Pok?mon art school and draw anything but Pok?mon using free paint and then share it on miiverse to get either loads of follows or be ignored all together and when you use story mode you can watch this person of the opposite gender fail at drawing Pok?mon and this is a run on sentence but I don't care!
Pok?mon Art Academy in a shellnut.

 

[Wholockian]

You are a person that gets strapped into a time machine, possessing the body of someone from the past and making them kill historical figures. However, if you kill innocent people, they force you out of their body and back to your own time

-Assassin's Creed

 

[Android]

-fat guy runs around jumping and stepping on ****
-you capture weird alien creatures in balls and then have them fight
-a blue thing that runs
-a yellow thing that eats
-two lines and a ball

 

[ApolloJusticeAC]

what

bioshock

 

[Rasha]

you are a hot lady running around aimlessly shooting the poor animals just because you can, also you'll end up dying after every 2 steps you make. such fun

- - - Post Merge - - -

that's tomb raider for ya

 

[ApolloJusticeAC]

Tomb Raider is a game about a woman named LARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CRAFT and she has 2 find maigc mssales

Kirby?

 

[Captain Crazy Chicken]

Pokemon: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, without the ponies, and they LIKE to pWN each other!

Mario: Some guy jumps on stuff.

Sonic: Described by two ungodly songs.

Kirby: Hungriest guy on earth who kills freakish abominations!

Pacman: NOM

Zelda: Green guy in a hat saves the world and exists in a bunch of incarnations.

Starfy: Star shaped guy whose best friend is a clam twists things up.

TF2: 2 teams of 9 guys each squabble over land while wearing hats.

 

[Shimmer]

A huge Disney crossover that doesn't make ANY sense.

Kingdom Hearts in a nutshell.

 

[Jacob]

Sonic Riders is about riding those things and trying to get first place and do some tricks along the way.