What's bothering you?

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I feel pretty awful for saying I'm piled up in homework since there are many many people who have way more than me.
I've just done some really difficult maths homework, I still need to complete some science homework tomorrow morning, and I've been assigned 4 homework pieces this week and it's only tuesday.
I'm not used to all this!
 
I haven't seen my boyfriend since last week. It's weird seeing each other every day for years and then it tapering off to maybe one day a week. He's been distant. I needed a ride to school today but he complains of always being tired and I didn't want to bother him. I went to school with my brother at 8, despite my first class not starting till 11. I don't have any friends and I'm so shy/scary that I just chose a wall with an outlet, sat down, ate my bag of dry ramen, and avoided eye contact by reading on my phone. My class is cancelled and my next one doesn't start still 2. It's math. The class I really need; I have a test Thursday. I should go to get the notes and maybe there's a review. But I don't want to... I want to just skip... I get 3 days, I think. I've already used one because my pelvis was hurting too much and I didn't think I could sit in class for 2 hours. I've taken this class before and failed. The second time around is still awkward, but it's frustrating because I have all the notes already and the class is too loud and unfocused and ugh...

@cadberry, are you okay? :( I hope it's nothing serious?

@ahri, you can always message me. I know where you're coming from.

Thank you. I appreciate everybody's advice with the needing distance but that would be too hard for me. I'm much more miserable without him around. I'd rather lose all my friends than him.
 
Thank you. I appreciate everybody's advice with the needing distance but that would be too hard for me. I'm much more miserable without him around. I'd rather lose all my friends than him.

Oh sweetie... if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.
 
Thank you. It means a lot.

And saying lose all my friends would be all my online ones because I have none irl, and honestly I like it this way, not sure why.
 
I want friends. Like, not just acquaintances or friends that you talk to sometimes but I miss having a best friend to be able to tell anything to, someone that just gets you. Someone that'll always be there for you. I mean, I have family but that's not the same. I ended up saying goodbye to another friend today and we were drifting apart already but it still sucks. Losing 2 good friends in a small amount of time and all. Whelp.
 
I'm pretty pissed off at being on crutches lmao

Like okay I can manage just fine opening doors and I'm not hobbling I just need them because I have terrible balance and I get tired walking long distances (plus it's p much easier to make big leaps when you can't run) and I keep hearing that I'm doing it for sympathy or that I don't need them, like lmao I've got a wheelchair in school if I wanted sympathy I'd hop into that and if I didn't need to be on the crutches I would gladly throw them away
But like it just pisses me off how people don't have any consideration?? like as I said yes I'm pretty able but my legs are stiff and i cant feel my left leg and crap but they expect me to just get pushed into huge crowds and pushed around
And I swear to god I will give up because my feet literally bleed from the walking and my friends expect me to do three laps around the school while they look for someone?? And then they borrowed my wheelchair and then left me in the middle of a crowded corridor with crutches and the wheelchair alone because they'd be late for lesson and a teacher had to help me go to the other end of the school and back to get something I had to leave and it's been on my chest for like a month and I'm pissed off man

Oh and this ***** thinks she's hilarious for making fun of the fact I am disabled?? like she literally mocks me for it lmao but she runs away from me in school lmao
 
Two of the kids I'm watching, think it is funny to kick another kid that is sleeping. I've called the mom and told them and she only says that they're playing. Really? Playing? Kicking another kid is playing? -.-
 
I'm not feeling well....and we have 2 more periods to go :( My stomach hurts and I'm getting a headache. I feel unmotivated and don't feel like doing work. I don't feel well mentally and physically....
 
Born with a genetic disease and in 2008 after a surgery and what thought was flu it all unraveled on me..I have a very rare combo of two genetic diseases and there is no cure around the clock pain care, hardly leave home anymore, all friends abandoned me, now it's spread into tumors and went systemic all organs can't afford to go to big genetic center. Moved home at 22 to finish college had to finish my MA online but good school then disabled can't work didn't put enough money in when young to get much. So now time has passed thirty living at home, my body treats food like poison and attacks me until pain like an appendix burst or knife or gunshot and it rejects it is not describable and one of many issues. Now pelvic uterine tumor and cysts can't have kids not sure, will I live another yr need my mom to pick up a medicine script too expensive not covered for two months till new dr switches they are treating me like I am terrible. I'm scared in acute and chronic pain can't go out to dinner my old fav thing can't cook bring in food no one helps, family is getting verbally abusive yes I must be here right now but they don't help just scream if I even am around.

Met a great guy though is younger than me is in medical proposed, all past relationships were abusive one way or another he has been great then he started yelling at me flying off handle. It's like people know I am kind and want their love and take advantage. He realized and apologized he has a fam member with disability but hers effects her mind my doesn't except headaches and such but he realized was venting that to me and has been great taking over appt calls all that helping with money bodyguard ing with my family by being around will I make it to next year the wedding don't know will we who knows. My family though have to get out, too sick to do anything but grocery and then can't cook or eat it without getting sick. Sorry for the vent, bc my fam is having problems trying to take what I don't have when supposed to care for me but outright told one way or other want me gone horrible things said I can't ever repeat or forget and all because I am ill. My nephew died same disease they are pretty sure at eight months. My mom keeps telling me my wonderful fianc? will leave bc I am worthless and all my issues when am on the floor in pain getting yelled at told to stop acting and being crazy they are in so denial of the medical the proof is all there I am disabled won't work again and I know he won't leave but my mother she gets in my head threatens not to help with this that to scare me in a year will be out of here but if he turns on me like the rest was so sweet now seems to be tired of my issues too or maybe that's fear he will as he is working and school a lot so not around as much right now for a few months when he is they act like people I have never met put on a show...when is gone doesn't realize am alone here in this small room just waiting went two years with no outside fam contact before him I don't know what snapped in my mom we were close once.

That's the tip of an iceberg, sorry but venting helps. My fianc? has been great and when realized that he was being harsh from new meds or stress is trying but every time I bring up a problem have not mentioned since last spoke feel am being a downer. Told him to find someone early 20s in school, well but he does love me that's good family not helping at all with even wedding things I don't think believe anyone could love me and take care of me without resentment. Am shy, everyone I met when was in school the little days could go or work when younger loves me outside people see it but my family has issues coping with their own messes and treating me like a person not their property because I am their child so can go through or take my personal things just because I have to live here now but am an adult, no money for clothes like am used to, fianc? helps but is so young 21 am afraid it's all too much and the vast time apart while he is getting money for us is actually making me withdraw. Then always da.. sick. In hosp this that told can't help you here even there a diagnosis of what combo is doing won't save you no cure. Still I fight and know am a good person.

Long vent but that is what is for right getting it out. Not all of it but am used to no one caring, if I can make it to that wedding and honeymoon in Disney for two weeks come home to someone who will always be my new family and take it day by day will be happy no wedding big just want that honeymoon even though heat hurts me as run 103 average I want that so I look forward and hold on to Disney need something to look toward week by week.
Ok think I feel a weight lifting bc you don't know me so I can tell you how bad well half how bad things are the whole how bad would feel a betrayal to my family feel guilty even talking about them though they sure do me to others always must look good on outside blame me hide truth. Thanks for anonymous vent and sorry for typos and punctuation I just started flowing out the pain and frustration. It helped.

I'm so sorry about your situation. I know that there's really nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but I'm rooting for you and your fianc?. I really hope that you two are happy together, no matter what happens.

If you need to vent anymore, feel free to talk to me.
 
pretty annoyed right now. i have no patience, and this person takes forever to do anything like years.
 
Hug the house, love it. You only have it for so long :( we moved out of the house I lived in for 13 years and I dont mind the new house anymore, was scared but I am not anymore

It's my family making me scared of it. :/ I'm getting really tired of getting ganged up on.
 
I told off one of my friends when I was in a bad mood and now I feel like "sorry" doesn't cut it.
 
just wasted two hours at a college center to get information I ALREADY KNEW thanks a lot mom for dragging me down there

now i get to stay up the entire night doing homework that i should have been doing in the first place YAAAAAAY i just ****ing love being sleep deprived at school
 
i feel like my grandparents have been gone forever and I really miss them.
can't wait for Sunday to come.
 
3-4 hours of sleep a day is killing me because of work.

Whoa, that's not healthy. I need at least 8 hours of sleep unless I want to be a zombie for the rest of the day. But I know how demanding work can be sometimes, hope you can find a way to get more rest.
 
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