The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I told Mother that I was getting married. She was so happy that she cried. You can wear her wedding dress.”
“Osgood, I can’t marry you. You see your mother and I are built differently. The dress wouldn’t fit me.”
“We can alter it.”
“I can’t have any children with you!”
“We can adopt.”
“I’ve been living unwed with another man the past four years.”
“I forgive you.”
“I- I- Aw I’m a man! *Rips off wig*”
“Well nobody’s perfect.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"There's a dam!"

"Damn!"

"There's a grate!"

"Great!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So uh how exactly did Starlight- become unalive?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie learned that turmeric and arsenic are not the same thing. Ones a great seasoning for rice and the other is a seasoning for your enemies….”
“Good to know.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Don’t take this the wrong way, Fry, but your friends are a bunch of freaks.

Yeah! They’re great, huh?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Nothing can hurt Michael Jumpsalot! They’re made by specially trained Chinese babies!”
*Milo steps outside in the ran and his shoes melt*

 

[-Blue-]

Robo-puppy now commencing two hour yipping session
Yip-yip-yip-yip-ker-thunk
Robo-puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-puppy mistreatment alert!

 

[Yoshi155]

The year 4000 is severely disappointing. I miss the year 3000, when life was simple and brains flew through space and everyone ate lasers.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Umm...do you have The Texas Chainsaw Mascara?”

 

[Yoshi155]

You’re saying these aren’t the decaying ruins of New York in the year 4000?

You wish. You’re in Los Angeles.

But there was this gang of ten year olds with guns!

Exactly. You’re in LA.

But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other!

That’s LA for you.

But the air is green and there’s no sign of civilization whatsoever!

He just won’t stop with the social commentary.

 

[Yoshi155]

Anyhoo, your net suits will let you experience Fry’s worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.

There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Congratulations! You’ve just passed the last temptation of the Broodwich!”
“What do I win?”
*Shake is next to a female skeleton in a wedding dress*
“Hell no I ain’t marrying this bag of bones!”
“Seriously?”
“Yes!”
“Congratulations! I know that I said that you passed the last temptation of the Broodwich but you’ve just passed the real last temptation of the Boordwich! You’re something else!”
“Yes I am! Now what do I get?”
“Free brain surgery!”
“Now that’s what I’m talking abo- Hey wait a minute….”

 

[Yoshi155]

So long. I’m off to toss this old shell in the dumpster. And maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn’t finish yesterday.

Those were toenail clippings.

A feast is a feast.

 

[Midoriya]

"Wow, will I be a hero if I DO use this machine?"
"...Yes, you will..."
"Awesome!"
"...to some. But to countless others you will be known as a bringer of chaos and evil, a murderer of billions, and hate incarnate itself."
"Wait, what?!? No, I want out then! I WANT OUT!"
*but the machine is already switched on and transports him into the future*
"Well, let's hope he does better than our last guy did."
*camera pans to a skeleton sitting on a chair in the corner*

 

[Yoshi155]

(Luigi appears)

Go ahead, Bart. Take the Bonestorm.

(Mario appears)

The store is-a so rich, she’ll-a never notice.

(Donkey Kong comes out next)

Duh, it’s the company’s fault for making you want it so much.

(Lee Carvello appears)

Don’t do it, son. How’s that game gonna help your putting?

(Sonic appears)

Just take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it! …TAKE IT!

 

[Mr.Fox]

'Where ya goin baby? You goin to find the corpses?'
'Yes Moe...I'm going to find corpses...'

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals... And animal robots."

"You're full of crap, Fry!"

*Bender turns around and his antenna gets caught in a hanging wire, electrocuting him*

"You make a persuasive argument, Fry!"

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m afraid your son broke the 11th commandment: thou shalt not steal.

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m better than dirt! Well… most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I can’t compete with that stuff.

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, no. My brains.

 

[QueenCobra]

“There's going to be nude people at the church on a Wednesday!"