The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Who knew that those Loveable Ponies would put up such a fight?”

 

[Yoshi155]

Obsessing won’t help, Bender. Take a lean back and enjoy life.

I can’t! My fembot may be in love with another manbot.

Well, talk to her. Tell her about your feelings in an open and honest way.

Yeah, either that or be a man.

Okay, I’ve constructed an elaborate lie. I’ll call Angleene while pretending to be Flexo, arrange a date, show up disguised as him, and catch her two timing me with myself.

That’s thinking like a man!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So I’ll let the taxpayers foot my bill again. Besides it’ll be nice to see the old gang.”
“One of them’s dying to see you too, Pudding.”
“Harley?”
“The one and only.”
“You don’t know how happy I am to see you!”
“Welcome to the club!”
*Harley starts hitting Joker with a nightstick*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball!"

(threateningly) "No one makes fun of my nose." *starts kicking the officers*

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘Don’t make me run I’m full of chocolate!’

 

[Yoshi155]

Flexo! Are you okay?

Yeah. Never better. *coughs* Nah, I’m yankin’ your chain, I’m dyin’.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

*Shoving coffee grounds in a toaster* "What is wrong with this dumb *****? They give us all the free coffee in the world but no instruction on how to cook it!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Good old Evergreen Terrace. The swankiest street in the classiest part of Pressboard Estates.

Well, if you love it so much, why are you always littering?

It’s easier, duh. *throws beer can on the floor*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Harley is seen in a front washer as it is spinning and full of water*
“Help! Red! Anyone! GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, I never noticed this place.

Dad, it’s right across the street from us.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hey! Keep the boat in the water!”
“This definitely wasn’t in the job description.”

 

[Yoshi155]

He spanked you? You? Bart Simpson?

I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.

Big deal. When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non consecutive occasions.

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘Nobody hassles my little brother!’
‘And nobody manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Muntz. SPRING FORTH BURLY PROTECTOR, AND SAVE ME!’
…..
…..
*Nelson comes out from behind a tree*
‘Ah geez…I never hang out with him, normally’
*Nelson chucks kid into the street*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What do you think, Fake Harley?”
“Anything you say, Mr G!”
*Fake Harley laughs annoyingly*

 

[Yoshi155]

Fat and depressed, his life had gone south.
So he turned to Pikachu and then he punched him in the Meowth
He felt so alive, he felt so real!
He beat all his Pokémon with his fists of Registeel!
He got arrested for domestic violence
It was a crazy mother****ing Cacturne of events!
He said that Pika’s bruises happened on the stairs when he fell
The cops said “Granbull****!” and threw that ***** in a cell!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Dinosaur choir singing to the tune of Swing Low Sweet Chariot*
Give dough
To the Ethyl Show
Give enough to carry you home!
Give dough
To the Ethyl Show
Give enough to carry you home!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“All I wanted was what every Jewish mother wants! For you to marry a doctor!”
“But I am a doctor!”
“And now look at you! I tried so hard to get you change your life in the most passive aggressive way possible and this is the thanks I get? Fighting and yelling?!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m not a witch. I’m your wife!“

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh you wanna hit people with garbage cans? Now I gotta cut you!”