some drama with my friends

[cIementine]

while this may be irritating and sound super childish, i feel like I've had a bad day in the friend department and want advice and just to rant. who doesn't love hearing about petty arguments a group of teenage girls have had, right?

I have a friendship group, a squad, if you must, that I've been part of for about a year, but recently this group has expanded a bit and me and my best friend have been pretty much replaced. These people who have rained on our parade happen to be tolerable, decent people, even though i've had complications with one of them in the past.

As it happens, i've been excluded a lot when it comes to 'seat-saving'. Everyone will save a seat for everyone but me. My best friend isn't in the class where this occurs, however she is in my gym class where the same thing happens but to both of us.

Everyone in my group is two-faced to say the least. As you'd expect in a group of adolescent females, we sometimes argue with each other. Sometimes, they're super serious and i'm not much of a forgiver, however everyone else is. They're mouthing off about someone one second, but smiling and fine with them the next. Sometimes, i don't blame them. it's probably a lot easier that way, but I just can't fathom how someone can be so fake.

I've always been at the bottom of the food chain in this friendship group, my best friend usually at the top. She is bossy. Sure, it's a friendship group and not a hierarchy, but there's seldom a difference between the two.

I was pretty annoyed at my supposed 'friends' excluding me and since being nice got me no where, i decided to confront them. I was sick of ignoring my own morals to suit everyone else's.
I spoke to my best friend about how i wasn't too pleased about it and she went to every length to back-stab their every action, and tell me it wasn't okay.

In a normal friendship, this is a sign of understanding and a signal saying 'i'm with you, i've got your back'.
No, she's completely fine the next day (today) and when it comes to the confrontation, she's sharing glances with one of the girls (who she's obsessed with rn) and claiming she doesn't mind and has nothing to do with it.

So i decided to scold her while i'm at it. A bit of an impulse choice, but i was getting pretty tired of having someone who calls me their best friend yet has no integrity or loyalty.

The conversation went a bit like this:
GIRL1: so you were fine last time but now you're not?
BEST FRIEND: *shares ridiculing glance with GIRL1 and whispers 'what's she on about?'*
ME: well yeah, i'm not exactly going to pull a [insert BESTFRIEND's name here] am I?
BEST FRIEND: A what?
ME: you know. when you're kicking someone up the balls for something they've done and then you're fine the next day? i'm just not that kind of person.
BEST FRIEND: omg how dare you i sacrifice GOOD FRIENDSHIPS FOR YOU and stick up for you ALL THE TIME

what she means by 'good friendships' is this one time where another one of my friends made me cry and yelled at me for no reason, and then my friend just stood there, watched me cry, ran after me 10 minutes later and told her that this girl is horrible and threw every insult her way for about a minute.
From this, you'd obviously expect that she is mad at this girl, and she didn't at all make it seem like what she had with this girl was a 'good friendship'. she didn't speak to her for a few hours, but only after this girl said something to her herself. then she was fine with her. and that's just about all the sticking up for me she's ever done.

now she's told every single soul in the school that i'm horrible for actually saying something once ever and she isn't even incognito about it. i've literally heard her from the lengths of the corridor mouthing me off, and i haven't even told one person about the situation at hand (except my mum lol)
GIRL1 felt like my entire confrontation was aimed at just her, which probably suggests a guilty conscience.

a few of my friends were really nice and mature about my confrontation and apologised and explained that they didn't want to leave me out etc, and i'm fine with them. once they've apologised, there's not much more they can do, right?

i should probably find some new friends. i have no one to fall back on because i'm kind of a loner without them.
help?

 

[DJStarstryker]

I agree with you. You should probably find some new friends. They're not really your friend if they're repeatedly excluding you like that. Your best friend sounds the worst. She's probably trying too hard to fit in with the other girls, so that's why she's doing that. But that isn't good for your friendship if she's going to say one thing to your face and then the next day act like you're a liar.

 

[cIementine]

I agree with you. You should probably find some new friends. They're not really your friend if they're repeatedly excluding you like that. Your best friend sounds the worst. She's probably trying too hard to fit in with the other girls, so that's why she's doing that. But that isn't good for your friendship if she's going to say one thing to your face and then the next day act like you're a liar.

i could, but i can't think of anyone i could latch onto. i've relied on them too much.
that's true. i think she was bound to ditch me for GIRL1 soon anyway.

 

[DJStarstryker]

Well, is there anyone in the group that you could become better friends with? Maybe one of them might make a better best friend than your current one.

 

[cIementine]

Well, is there anyone in the group that you could become better friends with? Maybe one of them might make a better best friend than your current one.

probably the girls that were nice and apologised. definitely not GIRL1, or the girl that made me cry that time.
one of the girls who apologised was a friend of the past who blew me off all the time, though.

 

[boujee]

I was trying to find that term where this average girls hangs out around a group of popular girls and the average girl is just like wow I'm not like any of them. There was actually a movie like this, that's the type of vibe I'm getting.
I think you're more worried about your self image than your own being. I was going to say just do you and who cares, right? But that's a bit cliche. But I'm going to stand on a neutral perspective. Personally, I'm not a mind reader. No one is. I think from the girl's perspective is that they never actually knew that's how you felt till now. I wouldn't know that's how you've been feeling till told other wise or they could have been kissing other people azzes since your singals wasnt getting to them(especially not getting a seat at y'all table when we all clearly sat there before). I'll be pissed about that but did you bring it up before? Like as soon as they started doing it did you mention that hey that's my seat? And if they was like sucha such is seating here then that's where you should have said that Nah. This is my seat. She needs to move. If you want to talk to her then you need to move too.

I'm act school but that's the best I can input atm.
If these girls are mostly filled with people you had bad experiences with them it's probably time to find new friends or more time for you boo.

 

[cIementine]

I was trying to find that term where this average girls hangs out around a group of popular girls and the average girl is just like wow I'm not like any of them. There was actually a movie like this, that's the type of vibe I'm getting.
I think you're more worried about your self image than your own being. I was going to say just do you and who cares, right? But that's a bit cliche. But I'm going to stand on a neutral perspective. Personally, I'm not a mind reader. No one is. I think from the girl's perspective is that they never actually knew that's how you felt till now. I wouldn't know that's how you've been feeling till told other wise or they could have been kissing other people azzes since your singals wasnt getting to them(especially not getting a seat at y'all table when we all clearly sat there before). I'll be pissed about that but did you bring it up before? Like as soon as they started doing it did you mention that hey that's my seat? And if they was like sucha such is seating here then that's where you should have said that Nah. This is my seat. She needs to move. If you want to talk to her then you need to move too.

I'm act school but that's the best I can input atm.
If these girls are mostly filled with people you had bad experiences with them it's probably time to find new friends or more time for you boo.

none of us are really popular in perspective, but in our own bubble i'm kind of the door mat. i let people step all over me just because i can't be bothered with the drama but it gets me into just as much drama than it would to make a scene and get all butthurt.
no, i haven't confronted them about it before. at first i thought it was just a one off thing but it just kept happening. i just ended up on my own, actually, and then i'm expected to be fine.

thanks, that's awesome advice. i don't think i'm cut out for friendships, and i enjoy being a loner at heart lol.
once i find some people worthy of my company i will make a move. if not, more time for me it is!

 

[cIementine]

besides, she's shifted over to GIRL1 without a thought, so it says a lot about where I stood anyway.

 

[Nuclear Bingo]

Well if you're only in middle school as I assume you are being 13, just know that people change. Your "friends" will likely barely talk to each other in a few years. You're just the beginning of the process of gaining and shedding friends. Trust me. When we're all that young we like to just make drama for no reason. So split from them. Plus she might spread more rumors if you stick around and spend more time together. I was a loner for most of my school career cause friends really do just come and go. Plus being a loner lets you observe and allows you to realize what you can adapt into your own life based on just watching other people.

 

[cIementine]

Well if you're only in middle school as I assume you are being 13, just know that people change. Your "friends" will likely barely talk to each other in a few years. You're just the beginning of the process of gaining and shedding friends. Trust me. When we're all that young we like to just make drama for no reason. So split from them. Plus she might spread more rumors if you stick around and spend more time together. I was a loner for most of my school career cause friends really do just come and go. Plus being a loner lets you observe and allows you to realize what you can adapt into your own life based on just watching other people.

great guess! lol.
That's true. they'll probably be arguing amongst themselves soon, so i might as well let them get to it now.

 

[NinetaIes]

tbh, you won't find out who your real friends are till you're out of school lol. From my experience I've noticed I was only friends with people because I saw them five days out of the week. I have only two friends that I still talk to from high school.

 

[cIementine]

tbh, you won't find out who your real friends are till you're out of school lol. From my experience I've noticed I was only friends with people because I saw them five days out of the week. I have only two friends that I still talk to from high school.

honestly, i'm too tired after the school week to bother doing things with people anyway, i just think 35 hours a week isn't too bad to put up with, and most of them are spent in silence anyway.
thanks!

 

[TarzanGirl]

Be friends with people who are actually nice! I would rather have no friends than be friends with jerks.

 

[Isabella]

Middle school drama is such a waste of time hahaha. I had similar situations a couple times in middle and high school, what I did was focus on the friends that weren't treating me bad and we're still friends to this day in college. I know it's going to be hard to cut off from these people but they're just not being good friends, especially with all the gossip. So I say focus on those friends that were nice/mature to you and apologized. And honestly I'd say its better to be alone for a bit than be with bad friends. It doesn't last forever! maybe join some new club or talk to some more classmates and discover a different social group.

 

[sock]

I found exactly this with the girls at my school.

Honestly, they could be so bi***y about the stupidest of things, and then be completely fine a minute later. Although I wasn't really part of their 'group', I was accepted into their little squad sometimes. Honestly though, I couldn't care less about them. A lot of teenage girls nowadays seem to care about things I really couldn't give a **** about. And the back-stabbing that goes on between adolescent girl groups is unnecessary and completely immature. I dumped them all for the guys xD I used to play football/soccer with them all lol

If I were you, I would try and make some new friends. They don't deserve someone like you, who treats them so well.

 

[ItsMilkypink]

I'd definitely find some new friends. Try not to let it cause too much drama with your current "friends" though. The last thing you need is even more drama in your life.

Honestly, I can't say much more. Most of my friends are guys so we have too much drama between us. Only downside to that is that, when we do have a fight/argument, it's a massive thing and it takes a while for everyone to make up with each other...

 

[jiny]

Some girls in 4th grade did that to me.

Supposedly we were "BFFS". But they only talked to themselves. Like they would talk to one another but always excluding me.

I know how you feel

 

[Llust]

sorry, didnt read most of it - but im assuming your friends are basically just being rude & mistreating you

either confront them about it or stop wasting your time with them, its better to be with someone else rather than suffering. i'd rather not sugar coat this bc i went through friendships like that back in middle school and now that i look back at it all, i realized i ridiculously wasted so much time on people. i really wish i knew this back then, so i hope you get what im trying to say here. i personally wouldnt mind if a friend mistreated me once, maybe even twice - but if its a constant thing, i wouldnt think twice about just leaving them. im not saying you should completely ignore them and just call them your 'enemies,' doing so will just make your social life at school so much harder - im speaking from personal experience. i was the same way - didnt have any other friends, so i ended up being alone anyways. i moped about it for a good year until i actually snapped out of it and realized that as i already, mentioned, i being wayy too pessimistic and was wasting my time. at least try finding new friends or get closer with old acquaintances--just dont hop back and forth between different people, they'll eventually end up getting annoyed or irritated in some way - at least thats how i feel when people do that. you dont deserve people like them, and thats one of the primary reasons as to why i dont hang out with girls anymore :/ they make me deal with so much unnecessary bullsh-t and im just done with them. tbh guys could be a better option if you hang out with them instead? it really depends on your personality though. it's so much more entertaining hanging out with the guys especially if you're dirty minded - but if you're the type who is awkward around guys, i get it, thats just an option. i seriously do recommend just dropping those so called friends if yours though, girls are so good at lying about liking certain girls and whatnot. if they say they love you yet they treat you like crap, leave them - i wouldnt trust what they say. its your choice though, you can always just hang out with them in the meantime until you find another group of people to hang out with. heck, if there's a lonely kid in your grade, talk to him/her and try building up on your friendship

 

[Rasha]

with friends like these who needs enemies? leave them and try to start fresh by finding new friends who are worth your time

 

[riummi]

simple. find new friends that you know you can trust. I know one girl in my school who sounds like your "best friend", she's bossy and talks trash behind her other so-called friends as well. Just get out there and talk to new people...i know that feeling of being a loner =u= I've known my two close friends for awhile to know that they wont turn on me for almost no reason. To them, or the majority, you probably arent really considered a true friend. I know another girl who ends up being "used" by another group of girls (they have her cary stuff, throw away their garbage, etc)

the girls you know sound pretty crazy lol my group is pretty mature and responsible... well maybe excluding two of them