Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[pinkcotton]

Happy Pride month everyone! <3

 

[Chris]

Plenty of new users have joined The Bell Tree lately and among them I've already interacted with many members of the LGBT+ community so giving this thread a formal bump.

 

[SillyPrinny]

Plenty of new users have joined The Bell Tree lately and among them I've already interacted with many members of the LGBT+ community so giving this thread a formal bump.

I find that this time of year (Jan-Mar) is when I consistently tend to have some sort of identity crisis. It's also the time of year I struggle most to keep motivated.

Just remember friend, we all love you. You can never hear those words enough, and I'll always regret never saying that enough to the ones I've lost. Yes, you may not feel motivated right now, but you're smart enough to realize this and willingly want to better yourself. Remember that.

 

[visibleghost]

throwback to when i wrote in this thread and was all like "yeah i know my gender identity 100%" and then it changed lmao wild. anyway i realized that i won't be happy just switching from one binary to the other when what i really want is liberation from gender itself. but also i don't want to tell people that i don't id as whatever gender they think i am because then i have to live up to the expectations of that gender identity, even though it's more of a non-identity to me so like yeah no i'm chilling. idk if i even id as trans anymore because like i just don't want to deal with that stuff. not that i'm cis but u know. yea. hashtag transtrender and so on

 

[d3_3p]

throwback to when i wrote in this thread and was all like "yeah i know my gender identity 100%" and then it changed lmao

I feel like I know nothing about life.
It changed? I can't even comprehend...

 

[Bowie]

I used to be so sure I wanted to be a woman, but being in a relationship with a bisexual somehow made me more comfortable than ever with just being a gay man. Not sure how that works but my body dysphoria just poofed when I was around him. Now he’s gone and, while it’s kind of come back, I still know what it feels like to not feel that way and I know I’m capable of repressing it.

 

[Kaiaa]

This is such a nice thread, what a wonderful place to talk and not be judged! I’m here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I’m here to support each and every one of you as you discover who you were always meant to be <3

 

[Xara]

my sexuality is always fluctuating - one day i think i’m bi, the next day i think i’m pan. i think i might be bi but i have no s***** attraction towards boys - maybe my sexuality is just ‘confusion’ lmao

 

[SheepMareep]

Oh I had no idea this thread existed until I saw your signature just now!!! This is awesome thank you c:
I'm Pansexual and cis! It took me a loooong time (from 4th/5th grade to 12 grade) to come to terms that I wasn't straight. Like I knew it but it wasn't ok to be non-straight in my house so I repressed it for a while. Bisexual didn't feel right to me when I referred to myself as Bi (tried for a year or so in my final years of hs) and eventually I found out about pansexuality and that made me feel more... sure? I'm honestly not 100% positive on how to describe finally feeling like I had an identity that was truly me.

Also!!
Just a question.... I brought up the idea of adding (optional and changeable/customizable) pronouns to the sidebar where our join date is on posts in the HQ forum; do you know if this is something that will be implemented? A lot of the discord groups for AC have this in their groups as well (with the use of roles) and it feels like bell tree is falling behind in that regard :c

 

[Alienfish]

I used to be so sure I wanted to be a woman, but being in a relationship with a bisexual somehow made me more comfortable than ever with just being a gay man. Not sure how that works but my body dysphoria just poofed when I was around him. Now he’s gone and, while it’s kind of come back, I still know what it feels like to not feel that way and I know I’m capable of repressing it.

Can I say how much I appreciate this post... Not everyone dares to come out with this and come to terms with body and/or gender dysphoria.. and they have to go thru to be accepted and some getting pushed/bullied even by the care system and some thing go too fast. Keep on being strong, we all love you <3

(pansexual here, any pronoun is fine though cis)

 

[Sanaki]

I love the idea of this thread being active again. Thanks for bumping it up <3

 

[Stil]

I have no problem with people of other sexual orientation, but this kind of thread is the reason why we look at people differently. This thread is literally segregating LBGT+ by singling out their sexuality. People need to just ignore the fact that people are different and stop feeling like everybody is special or unique. We are all here existing, and nobody is special. Everybody demands equality, but nobody wants to admit that these groups like this are a part of the problem as to why people are treated differently.

Dont segregate.
We are all equal.

 

[radical6]

i dont discuss stuff like this open on public anymore but im glad theres a new thread! the last one was like..1k posts or something i think so its nice to start new for the new ac game

I have no problem with people of other sexual orientation, but this kind of thread is the reason why we look at people differently. This thread is literally segregating LBGT+ by singling out their sexuality. People need to just ignore the fact that people are different and stop feeling like everybody is special or unique. We are all here existing, and nobody is special. Everybody demands equality, but nobody wants to admit that these groups like this are a part of the problem as to why people are treated differently.

Dont segregate.
We are all equal.

some people still live in hostile countries with little to no support. i really no longer benefit from this stuff since i no longer identify as nb but i found threads/blogs/etc similar to this helpful. also its not like only lgbt people can post. make a separate thread complaining about this if you want, but the whole idea of this one is to be supportive. not have a debate.

edit: oh lol this thread was bumped not remade. either way good idea bringing it back

 

[Kaiaa]

I have no problem with people of other sexual orientation, but this kind of thread is the reason why we look at people differently. This thread is literally segregating LBGT+ by singling out their sexuality. People need to just ignore the fact that people are different and stop feeling like everybody is special or unique. We are all here existing, and nobody is special. Everybody demands equality, but nobody wants to admit that these groups like this are a part of the problem as to why people are treated differently.

Dont segregate.
We are all equal.

I respect your opinion, but what most people who think like that don’t realize is that many people don’t have a safe place outside of the internet to talk or express themselves. Especially teenagers who’s parents want cis children and would quite literally disown them if it was spoken about at home. I’ve never seen a person disowned over being straight. A don’t ask don’t tell policy makes people fearful, and a thread like this can give people confidence in who they are. Maybe one day, instead of ignoring people’s sexuality or gender identity we can embrace it and accept it. You are right, we are all equal and one day it won’t be an issue and one day we won’t need a thread like this, but until then it is here to help lift people up and I hope you can show your support to those who need it.

 

[Chris]

I have no problem with people of other sexual orientation, but this kind of thread is the reason why we look at people differently. This thread is literally segregating LBGT+ by singling out their sexuality. People need to just ignore the fact that people are different and stop feeling like everybody is special or unique. We are all here existing, and nobody is special. Everybody demands equality, but nobody wants to admit that these groups like this are a part of the problem as to why people are treated differently.

Dont segregate.
We are all equal.

This is not the appropriate thread for this discussion. If you would like to discuss it on TBT then you are welcome to make your own thread. This thread is for giving support to a group of people who feel a need to speak with like-minded people in order to feel normal and sane. Coming to terms with being LGBT+ can be confusing and lonely, and for many it is filled with a lot of self-hatred. Many people can't find—or are too afraid to reach out—to people in their offline lives about it. This thread is intended as a safe space where people can feel free to discuss what is worrying them, share their own experiences, and celebrate coming to terms with and accepting themselves as they are.

 

[Chris]

throwback to when i wrote in this thread and was all like "yeah i know my gender identity 100%" and then it changed lmao wild. anyway i realized that i won't be happy just switching from one binary to the other when what i really want is liberation from gender itself. but also i don't want to tell people that i don't id as whatever gender they think i am because then i have to live up to the expectations of that gender identity, even though it's more of a non-identity to me so like yeah no i'm chilling. idk if i even id as trans anymore because like i just don't want to deal with that stuff. not that i'm cis but u know. yea. hashtag transtrender and so on

I agree with the bold so much. I don't address gender at all in my offline life unless someone asks me (and even then I avoid going into depth) because even some people who are accepting can't see beyond the idea of it being black and white. I've encountered quite a few trans allies who believe it's simply a matter of, "if you're not a boy then you must be a girl" and vice versa. They've good intentions - but either they can't get their heads around seeing gender as a spectrum or have yet to encounter it.

I feel too many issues that contribute to young people questioning their gender are man-made problems, and things would be a whole lot simpler if gender stereotypes, gender roles, etc did not exist to begin with. I volunteer with an organisation where I focus a lot of time to answering young people's questions on sex and relationships, and naturally with that comes questions such as 'am I trans because...' - and that is typically followed up with a list of gender-related stereotypes. It would be much simpler for everyone if these things just went away and there were no expectations linked to gender. Then fewer people wouldn't feel as if they don't fit in the right box.

I used to be so sure I wanted to be a woman, but being in a relationship with a bisexual somehow made me more comfortable than ever with just being a gay man. Not sure how that works but my body dysphoria just poofed when I was around him. Now he’s gone and, while it’s kind of come back, I still know what it feels like to not feel that way and I know I’m capable of repressing it.

What I'm going to say is easier said that done, of course, but it sounds like what you need to find is something that grounds you that doesn't involve being dependent on another person. For me that one thing is writing fiction. I use character's as avatars to explore things in a safe space and generally argue with myself.

Oh I had no idea this thread existed until I saw your signature just now!!! This is awesome thank you c:
I'm Pansexual and cis! It took me a loooong time (from 4th/5th grade to 12 grade) to come to terms that I wasn't straight. Like I knew it but it wasn't ok to be non-straight in my house so I repressed it for a while. Bisexual didn't feel right to me when I referred to myself as Bi (tried for a year or so in my final years of hs) and eventually I found out about pansexuality and that made me feel more... sure? I'm honestly not 100% positive on how to describe finally feeling like I had an identity that was truly me.

Also!!
Just a question.... I brought up the idea of adding (optional and changeable/customizable) pronouns to the sidebar where our join date is on posts in the HQ forum; do you know if this is something that will be implemented? A lot of the discord groups for AC have this in their groups as well (with the use of roles) and it feels like bell tree is falling behind in that regard :c

I sometimes feel like not knowing the right label can sometimes make it worse. Like, here's a group of people who you think feel the same - but then you still don't somehow fit in!

I never said anything even knowing my parents were okay with the LGBT+ community until they asked me about someone I was dating and used the wrong pronouns for them. I guess I treated it as 'don't ask, don't tell' for a lot of years. Didn't come out to them until I was 25. To be honest I don't think I was even comfortable saying it aloud until then! I had wanted a sex change from early teens (didn't even know the word 'trans' - it hadn't really entered mainstream usage back then) and realised I lacked gender preferences from as young as 12/13.

As for the thread you linked: I'll try post over in that thread sometime today.

 

[StrangeDog]

Hello, all! I'm glad I saw this thread!

I've run my own organization helping transgender people learn social media management skills since 2014 - almost 6 years now. I'm a transgender man. I walked away from my home with nothing but a backpack in 2016 and never loooked back. If any of you need help becoming more independent or just working on your social media presence, please feel free to message me.

 

[SheepMareep]

I sometimes feel like not knowing the right label can sometimes make it worse. Like, here's a group of people who you think feel the same - but then you still don't somehow fit in!

I never said anything even knowing my parents were okay with the LGBT+ community until they asked me about someone I was dating and used the wrong pronouns for them. I guess I treated it as 'don't ask, don't tell' for a lot of years. Didn't come out to them until I was 25. To be honest I don't think I was even comfortable saying it aloud until then! I had wanted a sex change from early teens (didn't even know the word 'trans' - it hadn't really entered mainstream usage back then) and realised I lacked gender preferences from as young as 12/13.

Yeah its definitley hard when you KNOW you are different but are unsure what other label to use so you just... stick with it while not feeling confident at all. Like a lot of my friends were bi but I just would not come out to them at all because I did not feel confident in who I was yet to say what I was.
&& oh god I cant even imagine coming out to my parents. I'm 23 now and so far my only relationship has been with a cis guy, so although I post a lot of things indicating I'm not straight on fb I dont think they have connected the dots at all-- no angry messages yet lol

I think it's crazy how people outside of the lgbt community think we dont know these things about ourselves until we are older. Like... all of us learned early on as children and just weren't open until later! Even if there is confusion we can be positive that we are not het or cis from young ages!!!!

 

[radical6]

personally people describe me as nb sometimes but i prefer gnc. i don't dress gnc that much though.

i guess i would say i want gender abolition. like imagine not needing to identify as trans or something because gender roles wouldnt exist and we would just be people. though there is also the fact people have gender dysphoria sometimes so.

i think a reason i was drawn to the nb because i didnt like facing misogyny when i was younger (i didnt want to be harassed by older men) over an innate feeling of another gender. i totally support people who feel that way however but i think thats where my complicated relationship with gender is.

in terms of sexuality i guess bi works but i don't feel much of a connection with the lgbt communities at time, idk not as much as i used to. i think i just dont focus a lot on the sexuality part of my life really, I guess I'm more worried about other things that they preoccupy my time.


edit: gnc = gender non conforming

 

[visibleghost]

I feel like I know nothing about life.
It changed? I can't even comprehend...

ikr it's some wiiiild stuff bro. some people are all like "gender doesnt change and everyone whos trans has always been this gender and if you say anything else youre stupid" and i see their point but also like.... if gender is going to be defined by your personal feelings that's bound to change for some people at some point, and there's nothing wrong with that.

i get that it's harmful for the trans community and all that to say it can change but like what am i supposed to say? that i was never trans and never had gender dysphoria? that's not true. i had gender dysphoria, both bodily and socially for years, i was actually diagnosed with it for transition reasons that i didn't end up going through with. now i don't. it's at most something that slightly bothers me. and all of that is because my outlook on life, my identity and gender has changed which in turn has changed what i view as important in my life, and gender is not one of those things.

I have no problem with people of other sexual orientation, but this kind of thread is the reason why we look at people differently. This thread is literally segregating LBGT+ by singling out their sexuality. People need to just ignore the fact that people are different and stop feeling like everybody is special or unique. We are all here existing, and nobody is special. Everybody demands equality, but nobody wants to admit that these groups like this are a part of the problem as to why people are treated differently.

Dont segregate.
We are all equal.

lmao what are you on. you sound like one of those "i don't see color" people and i mean that in a negative way