If you don't like the rules then don't go to their town, all of those rules you listed on your first post are fair.
Myself being a trader, I have a lot of people on my friends list, if I am not busy then I don't mind opening my gates and someone asking to come over, but if I am waiting to trade with someone then someone just randomly appears and starts wandering around while I am busy, that is extremely rude.
It doesn't take much effort to ask first...
The don't chop down trees etc rule: may seem silly, but you DO get folk who think it's okay to do what they want.
As for buying things from shops: I usually buy my stuff first thing anyway, and if I have I will simply say 'buy what you want, i've done my shopping' but sometimes I may have not had the chance. What's so difficult about simply asking 'is it okay to buy from your shops?' Simple common courtesy goes a long way...
As for alot of people saying that folk are taking the game way to seriously, well.. not really, folk just don't want people turning up in there town and ruining everything they have worked on, people spend alot of time working on their towns and you should respect that. Follow the rules and you can BOTH have fun.
I have actually made quite a good Wi-Fi friend from trading, I trust her enough to let her wander as she wishes without the fear of her stealing, trampling, etc
She still asks before buying anything, and the answer is usually yes but that little bit of courtesy goes a long way
And she doesn't complain about having to type one sentence...
While I DO NOT agree with the ops idea of 'silly' rules, there are alot of silly ones out there, BUT again, if you don't like the rules then don't visit their town, and move on with your life instead of moaning about it. It's their town and they can make whichever rules they wish, end of.