What's Bothering You?

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I felt like something in me snapped even though I should have been fine. I feel really frustrated too, similar to how I used to feel. Maybe I’m not feeling better as I thought I was. If the event didn’t start tonight i’d take some time away, though I think that would make me feel worse as it usually does. regretting sending a message even though I want to believe my feelings are valid.. Idk though.

no comments or replies please.
 
My head is pounding from spending the whole day looking at used cars. I'm completely overwhelmed and have no idea what the best choice is anymore. I seriously can’t stand the car market.
 
I ordered groceries for delivery and the beer was packaged upside down. One of the bottles leaked over everything and soaked through the paper bag. I like beer but I certainly don't like the smell when I'm cleaning it off other items. I also had to clean the floors and counters before I could let the cats back out the living room.

Also random, but for some reason there was womens deodorant in my order. It wasn't a substitute for anything - I only ordered food, drink, kitchen roll, and room spray (which also arrived). Hopefully my partner likes the brand/scent and can make use of it. 🤷‍♂️
 
I remembered that when my mother’s not biological mom died (she adopted her), it was kept a secret from me. I was cut out of the will because I was into girls and they didn’t want me being angry that I didn’t receive a cut despite spending a good amount of time with them as a child, so my mom and grandma kept it from me for years.

I hate when people keep things like that from me because it makes me feel like I don’t deserve to know or that I don’t have to know. I found out myself when I came across her obituary online, and lo and behold, my mom and grandma already knew. They told me they had known for years, but didn’t want me to be upset over it.

My grandma also told my mom and dad not to tell me about Keagan’s health issues, and of course my mom would’ve kept it a secret but my dad told me immediately. This isn’t the ****ing Easter Bunny. I deserve to know certain things.
 
I'm trying to register so I can vote, but of course something goes wrong. I need a document with my name and address, and my dad suggested a government letter, which I don't have. I don't even want to vote, but I know my family (especially my dad) is gonna pressure me if I don't. My parents have been putting certain societal pressures on me and I'm getting sick of it. At the same time, how do I know what's right or wrong when I don't trust people's judgement or my own?

Not looking for replies.
 
Okay I'm livid.

My girlfriend just got hit by a car outside our house. She's luckily unharmed physically besides a sore wrist, but the situation that caused this has me furious. He was on the pedestrian crossing while the light was green, she started crossing behind him, and he reversed into her knocking her down. He didn't check she was okay. He just stayed in his car and drove off once the lights changed!

I've asked her to report it, she has chosen not to, so fair enough I'll respect her wishes. But I'm angry.
 
Annoyed I can't find half these eggs I mean where is there a butterfly on this site?!
 
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???
i was lying on the couch and my mom came up to the shelves at the other end of the room, opened one of them, and then told me "can you get me a ziploc? thanks." and then walked away

mind you the shelf she opened HAS ziploc, all she had to do was get a foot stool (which was a foot away from where she was standing) to grab the ziploc. but instead of doing that she ordered me, at the other end of the room, to walk to where the shelf is, grab the foot stool, get the ziploc, then look for her wherever she was

???? she couldve done this herself??? what

also earlier she was ordering me, a SHORT 4'10" woman, to reach for the jars AT THE HIGHEST PART OF THE SHELF. the shelf is at least 8 feet high btw ++ literally everyone else at home is taller and no one was really doing anything important, but because im the one she saw first she ordered me

i told her i couldnt reach it easily and instead of her asking ANYONE ELSE, she got angry at me and told me to do somethinf about it. im like?? what is your problem why do you want me SPECIFICALLY to do it. anyway a foot stool and chair wasnt enough, i had to find a LADDER to reach the damn jars at the highest point of the shelf. i asked help from our housemate to put the jars back down and when i told mom later on that i had to ask for help she was very visibly annoyed at me.

like. mom what is your problem why are so irritable to ME ALONE

?????
 
A Link Between Worlds FINALLY came in the mail this morning. Yay! But when I popped in the game card, my 3DS refused to read it. It’s the game card itself. Tested with Pokemon Ultra Moon, and it worked.

Update: Just read the reviews online. Three of them said the game card was dead and misleading and not to buy it. DANG IT!!! JUST MY LUCK! I was REALLY looking forward to playing this game. I’m gonna have to return it and buy another copy…
So annoying. Really disappointed. ☹️
 
My mom keeps calling me mom or momma and it's just really sad. I was getting her out of bed this morning and getting her clothes on and she was just going "ma ma mama" over and over cause she was so excited to see me even though I see her everyday. I never correct her though cause it's not worth upsetting her. At least she thinks I'm a good momma to her
 
literally took a shower last night and I feel like I need another, but I have no clean clothes 🥲

to say I'm disorganized is an understatement. I've gone through a complete breakdown of mental and executive functioning because I've been so tired and overwhelmed. I don't know what my problem is. I don't know why I keep forgetting to wash clothes, why I forget to wash dishes, why I don't do my readings on time or submit my assignments on time, why I put off all of my hobbies, why I don't clean as often as I should. I feel like I'm just absolutely shattered, lying in pieces all over the floor, and I can't pick myself up. I feel useless, I feel helpless. I'm so tired.

now I'm sitting here, feeling really filthy, and I don't know what to do. I've literally nothing to wear when I get out of the shower. I guess I should add the context that I am physically incapable of lifting stuff over 15 lbs right now, not just because of my surgery but because I feel weak, and lifting stuff definitely puts strain on my incisions. because of that I haven't been able to take heavy basket of laundry up and down the stairs to wash. a perfect recipe for executive dysfunction.

I'm so tired 😭 I actually want to sob. I'm so tired. I can't wait until this class ends, it sucks bc I've been enjoying it but I cannot dedicate my energy to this, and trying to allow my body to heal properly, and working, and cleaning and cooking for myself, and everything else. it's too much, I've cracked under the pressure. I'm so tired. I need a break so badly.

ik all I ever do is complain here, I'm sorry. I try to stay positive and talk about happy stuff (I'll probably go make a happy thread post later, bc I am genuinely happy about a few things) but the stuff I deal with in my day to day life is too much to always keep at bay. I don't expect myself to go out into the world every day acting like I'm okay, cause I'm really not.

though I don't know why I'm venting here, on a public forum... maybe so my friends here can see it. so I can have a listening ear. I wish we could all be in a more private place. I wish I had a safer, non-public space with my friends where we could hang out and chat and vent and support each other. maybe I can ask some friends to join me on a Discord server?

anyway I need to keep reading so I can work on this assignment, but I just want to be done. I want to take a shower and get cozy and go to bed. I don't know...

also unrelated, part of my reading is showing me the actual truth about fake news and misinformation spreading about major historical events, and it's making me realize just how dangerous the internet is. it's madness, insanity.
 
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