What's Bothering You?

Very minor. I’m doing okay today, but I’m so drained more than usual. I wanted to get more of my drawing done but I could barely work on it. Can’t play any games right now either. I probably should just go to sleep but I don’t want to sleep yet either. I’m not looking forward to going grocery shopping tomorrow though I’ll be able to grab more drinks and maybe some goodies for myself.

I also still feel guilty for not getting my girls anything for their gotcha day. :/ I know they don’t know but I really wanted to celebrate their special day every year. This is the first that I didn’t :/. I did give them treats but still…

I still need to start christmas shopping. I’ve been kind of avoiding thinking of it because some stuff I’m still struggling to cope with, not to mention Christmas shopping for my nieces are hard since a lot of what they want are from companies that I do not support. I might see if there are any squishables that they’d like.

No comments or replies please.
 
I still want time to stop for just a but so I can handle my thoughts, plans, and feelings but it never seems to happen.

I'm not looking forward to seeing if UC have contacted me as I have been avoiding them (plus having to use old phone to get verify code and its never charged), not looking forward to that interview thing from that training I took. Was able to make them let me take it this week but the awful communication from them just ain't helping and makes me look bad when I don't get an email.

I found three jobs but not overaly confident in them, plus wanna do a portfolio but feels so long sometimes.

Also won't have any money till end of rh month and still haven't gotten everything for my mum.
My sister asked me for ideas she could get us via amazon but no links as it doesn't work or she can't see what we see here. Which just makes it harder because my mum doesn't really know or want alot from her this year. Because of paying etc
And just means more for me because I saw things she would like but I have to get them instead.
Have no idea what to ask either. Since her view is different from mine I have no idea what to ask for.

Also boss is late today so having to wait for her. This is why I give her mu hours after I know I'm not dealing with her after Wednesday because everyone else is early.
And if I give it too early and try ab change it because I thought she ve on time, she have a malfunction
Get me outta here.
 
my friend keeps sending me text messages over and over and it’s gotten to the point where i don’t know if i can be friends with her.
she loves role playing on discord and asks me to role play all the time, and i don’t have a problem with that. role playing is fun for me sometimes, but she asks me to rp constantly. when i wake up in the morning, the second text i get is “continue rp?”. there have been times where traumatic things have happened in my life or i have bad mental health days and if i say i don’t want to rp bc of that then i get “let’s rp to get your mind off of it” or “i wanted to rp, not be your therapist.” if i step away from my phone for 5 minutes, i get 10 text messages, and if i step away from my phone for 2 hours, i get 40-70 text messages from her. and if i say i don’t want to bc something happened or i just don’t feel up to it, she says “ok, you GET a 30 minute break.” not “we can stop here until you feel up to it again.” no, i get as much time as she feels like giving me.
she blames this on separation anxiety, and if she does have separation anxiety, i truly feel bad for her. i would never want to intentionally give someone anxiety. it just doesn’t feel true though. we’ve only known each other for 2 years, and we don’t see each other in person very often. can you get separation anxiety from a friend you’ve known for 2 years and barely see in person?? idk
it genuinely feels like she doesn’t care about me as a person and my needs and wants. it doesn’t matter what happens to me in my life as long as we can roleplay.

edit: for context, i had 545 notifications last monday. 417 of them were from imessage and i only text my mom and my sister who don’t send me that many messages. 48 of them were from discord. she sent me nearly if not 500 messages.
kind of a vent
 
oddbear said:
my friend keeps sending me text messages over and over and it’s gotten to the point where i don’t know if i can be friends with her.
she loves role playing on discord and asks me to role play all the time, and i don’t have a problem with that. role playing is fun for me sometimes, but she asks me to rp constantly. when i wake up in the morning, the second text i get is “continue rp?”. there have been times where traumatic things have happened in my life or i have bad mental health days and if i say i don’t want to rp bc of that then i get “let’s rp to get your mind off of it” or “i wanted to rp, not be your therapist.” if i step away from my phone for 5 minutes, i get 10 text messages, and if i step away from my phone for 2 hours, i get 40-70 text messages from her. and if i say i don’t want to bc something happened or i just don’t feel up to it, she says “ok, you GET a 30 minute break.” not “we can stop here until you feel up to it again.” no, i get as much time as she feels like giving me.
she blames this on separation anxiety, and if she does have separation anxiety, i truly feel bad for her. i would never want to intentionally give someone anxiety. it just doesn’t feel true though. we’ve only known each other for 2 years, and we don’t see each other in person very often. can you get separation anxiety from a friend you’ve known for 2 years and barely see in person?? idk
it genuinely feels like she doesn’t care about me as a person and my needs and wants. it doesn’t matter what happens to me in my life as long as we can roleplay.

edit: for context, i had 545 notifications last monday. 417 of them were from imessage and i only text my mom and my sister who don’t send me that many messages. 48 of them were from discord. she sent me nearly if not 500 messages.
kind of a vent
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Sorry if you don't want replies at the moment but yeah she shouldn't be treating you like that at all, I'm not trying to make assumptions but it definitely seems like a big red flag. Not telling you to jump to cutting her out of your life cause I obviously don't know the full context about your friendship and I don't want to meddle in personal business that I barely know anything about but that behavior from her is definitely concerning and she needs to quit it immediately if it's negatively affecting your friendship. Also considering what you've said about the separation anxiety stuff, even if she does have it (which if she does I truly do feel awful for her) she shouldn't be using it as a get out of jail free card for her behavior and not learning anything from it.
 
I am straight up not having a good time. Doing so much worse than i thought i was. I can barely do anything. So ****ing stressed. I’m a mess. I think I started hyperfixating on something. But I decided now is a bad time, think I’ve managed to tamp it down before it gets completely out of control. I knew it’d be detrimental to my health in that it will distract me too much. It comforts me to know that I can just put it on the shelf for later and get it back out when it’s not so risky.
 
I just finished grocery shopping with my mom and I’m miserable. I wasn’t having the greatest thoughts; was super depressed. I didn’t sleep very well either since I didn’t know we’d be going this early and my dad’s voice kept waking me up since my walls aren’t insulated. I took my medicine before coming but it is more for my anxiety. My anxiety wasn’t too bad because of it. I’m glad we’re going home now. I can’t stand the crowds and Christmas music. Cramps are bothering me a little too.

My dad is so rude! He always has been but he has gotten worse over the years. We were putting groceries away and my mom asked me to open the side door, but my door opens it when i got there and mumbled something like what’s f’ing wrong with you. Door knob fell off closet door and since everyone was in a different room i called out to them. i was relaxed bit my dad said in a rude voice “relax”. this is part of the reason why i come out of my room less. my dad always is rude to everyone but treats me differently and the worse many times.
 
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discovered the clinic i wanted to go to for adhd might not be a good fit because apparently you have to have shared care, and they don't do annual reviews. i found another clinic that might be possible, but i'm getting mixed results on whether they offer in-person assessments. the adhd right to choose website says yes, if remote ones aren't suitable, but i couldn't find anything on the clinic's website about in-person ones. i did shoot them an email first thing this morning but haven't heard anything back today. i'm kind of stressing over it because my appointment is wednesday morning, and idk if i can escalate the issue and my complaint if i don't even know which clinic i want to be referred to through right to choose lol. i might ask my GP if she can call them on my behalf and find out, since she is really nice, but idk if she will. i just wish more providers offered in-person assessments. i get that remote ones are convenient for a lot of people, but not everyone, so it really sucks that the vast majority of them are online only. it's starting to feel like i might have to go private, and i can technically afford it (though, again, idk if i can get shared care) but the thought of spending two grand at once makes me queasy lol. what if i spend all that and they tell me i don't have it?
 
My cousin's ex just left her cats behind in the old house when she moved. Now they went to the realtor who hopefully keeps them together as they're bonded literal siblings. Who the hell does that?! They literally grew up with you and the children and you LEAVE them behind like trash???! If this is how you treat animals I'd hate to be a patient at the hospital where you nurse. Disgusting.
 
daringred_ said:
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i actually did end up getting an email back just before office hours closed. unfortunately, the in-person appointments aren't available anywhere within travelling distance of me, and they aren't guaranteed through right to choose anyway. i think i'm going to have to stick with the first clinic i wanted and see if i can convince my GP to agree to shared care. she's really nice and listens, i'm just worried a consultant or even the practice itself will stop her from accepting, even though i think it's up to the discretion of individual GPs? (and even if i go private, that needs a shared care agreement anyway if i want the prescription at nhs prices.) i'm still going to have to escalate the issue and file a complaint. it's really tiring, i don't know why they're insisting i can't choose my clinic in the first place. it shouldn't be this much of a fight to exercise my right.
 
I truly believe that there's no point in being nice because almost everyone is an *******. I'm so tired of my coworkers and brother doing as little work as possible while I overwork to get everything done. I'm tired of being insulted, snapped at, and treated like **** by my family and coworkers when I'm not even doing anything wrong. I'm tired of people taking advantage of me because I'm nice and quiet. I ****ing hate everyone. Why can't I catch a ****ing break?
 
Chronos314_XD said:
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no actually thank you for responding!! ^w^ it’s nice to know that other people feel the same, i know i’m not but sometimes i worry i’m being unreasonable…
i’m going to try to have a serious talk with her about it. i don’t know how it’s going to go, but if she doesn’t take it well i might have to seriously consider not being friends with her. i don’t want to do that to her or myself, but if i can’t have a conversation with her and set boundaries, it’s not worth it in the long run.
 
ZeldaCrossing64 said:
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I've been in this situation many times. They'll keep doing it as long as they think they can keep doing it. It's best to just speak up or put your foot down and tell them no. It isn't wrong to stand up for yourself when you're not even at fault. Just stay in control of your emotions. People who take advantage of you and treat you that way aren't even worth it, even family.
 
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